Showing posts with label first. Show all posts
Showing posts with label first. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Former Miss Spain Becomes First Openly Gay National Beauty Queen

Patricia Yurena, a two-time former Miss Spain (2008 and 2013) and runner-up for Miss Universe in 2013, came out as gay when she posted a picture of herself and her girlfriend almost kissing to Instagram. It's a gorgeous shot and an exciting revelation; one that will hopefully support future gay beauty queens in living their truths while also wearing a shit-ton (technical term) of glitter and sky high heels. Work it, ladies.

"I published the picture completely spontaneously and in an impulsive manner. Thank you for all your support," she tweeted as a follow-up.

Yay, Yurena! Now, can you tell me how you get your hair so damn shiny and silky and smooth? It probably involves making a deal with the devil and then decapitating a unicorn, but it might be worth it.

Follow Laura on Twitter.


From Cosmopolitan.com. Visit Amazon Beauty Center here

Meet the First Woman Suing Facebook for Revenge Porn

Last year, 28-year-old Meryem Ali of Houston, Texas, discovered that someone had created an imposter Facebook profile under her name. And it got worse: The profile included pornographic images with her face realistically photoshopped onto the nude bodies — and whoever created the page was sending friend requests to her family members.

Ali reported it to Facebook. She even went so far as calling the company's advertising department — the only relevant phone number she could find — to ask for help. She didn't get any. It was only after local police contacted Facebook that the photos where taken down — four and a half months after she first filed a complaint.

The profile was traced back to the home of a guy she had hung out with a total of three times. They had only exchanged so much as a kiss on the cheek. That's all it took for her to become yet another victim of "revenge porn."

Now Ali is suing Facebook for $123 million — 10 cents for each of its 1.23 billion users who could've seen the images. In her first print interview, Ali spoke with Cosmopolitan.com about becoming a victim of "revenge porn," struggling to tell her religious parents about the explicit photos, and how she hopes her high-profile lawsuit will prevent this from happening to other women.

How did you first find out about this page?

I was shopping for my niece's first birthday and I saw a text message from my cousin. He said, "Go look at your Facebook right now," and I was like, "What are you talking about? I've been off Facebook for months." He said, "There's a really nasty photo and it has your face on there." I was like, "Can you please send me the photo? I really want to see the photo." And he was like, "It's so terrible, I can't do that."

I went home and I looked it up. I saw the pictures. Of course I was really upset, I was really nervous, I was wondering who could do this to me and how this was even happening.

What were the pictures exactly?

Pornography is probably the best description of what I saw.

But it had your face photoshopped onto the images?

Correct.

What was your reaction when you saw this?

I was crying. I was saying, "Oh my gosh, what will my parents think? I should really tell them." At that point, I told both of my sisters — they knew what was going on — because I couldn't tell my parents at that time. I was too nervous.

Every day that this page was up, when my phone would go off with a text or a call, I would be so scared. I figured that my phone was ringing because someone else had found that page. I felt like everyone saw it. I would only leave my house to go get food, which is essential to live.

One day, I was grocery shopping with my mom and I received a text message from a friend who I hadn't talked to in four years or so. He goes, "You have a fake profile up." My heart dropped. I'm in the middle of the grocery store, my mom doesn't know what's going on, and this guy I have not heard from in years is messaging me. At this point I'm thinking, "Did this person steal my entire identity? Who else has it reached?" I was devastated. I was so upset.

You were worried that your parents would be upset by the photos even though they were photoshopped?

Absolutely. Because of our culture and religion. ?I'm a Muslim and the religion I follow is Islam. There are obviously Muslims who are more liberal, but my parents are on the conservative side. I don't cover my head; I do not wear hijab. I'm American-born and raised, but I still have my parents' values and religion. I just don't do stuff like that. It's not permissible in our culture and religion. Even though it's not me, it's just too upsetting to them that anyone would even do that to their daughter or think of their daughter in that way.

I still have not shown my parents the photos and they have not requested to see them. Because once I said "naked pictures," they told me they didn't sleep for days. I knew right then and there that they don't even want to see the photos. Even my family and friends that have come across the images, they couldn't look at all the photos. They were too disgusted.

What did it take to tell your parents?

Oh gosh. It took my lawyer several meetings to convince me that I needed to tell my father. My mom didn't know until right before the lawsuit was going out. My sisters knew all along. Honestly, I thought it was going to disappear, and mom and dad were never going to find out.

What were the steps you took to get the photos taken down?
I reported it several times to Facebook. Family reported it. Friends. I had some friends message the profile and say, "Why are you doing this to Meryem?" But they didn't get a response. I went to the Houston Police Department and then I had to make a report. I contacted the FBI. I wrote an email to the White House. I was desperate to get this down. Nothing happened, I had to get an attorney involved. I thought it was just gonna come down and I was gonna live my life and it was gonna be water under the bridge. But that wasn't the case.

So you reported it to Facebook but didn't hear back?

No. And? the only phone number I could find for Facebook was for the advertising department. They were very happy to help ... with advertising. They're very happy to take your money! I was like, "How come you guys have a quick response to advertising and not when there's a crime going on?"

Did you have an idea of who had done this?

Honestly, no. I had no idea. For the things that were happening on this Facebook page, you would think that I did something terrible to someone. I thought about it, "I haven't had a fight with anyone, I haven't had a recent argument with anyone." Even until today, I don't understand.

Your complaint alleges that you eventually found out Adeel Shah Khan [a former friend and romantic interest] created the page. How did you feel when you found out?

I think the question is "How did I feel until I got that answer?" Mental suffering is one way to put it. I was suffering until then. Even now, I'm still suffering because there is no justice as of now. It was a little calming.

How did you first meet Khan?

I met him through a mutual friend at a yearly religious conference for the Islamic Society of North America in Chicago. We became friends. We talked on the phone a lot. I went back to Chicago with a friend a few months later.

Did it ever get physical?

No, just the typical guy likes girl, girl likes guy. Nothing beyond that. I don't even remember, maybe there was a kiss on the cheek? It was so long ago. It was four or five months before I went back a third time to visit.

How did that visit go?

He picked me up at the airport. We went to eat and he was messaged by his ex-girlfriend. He was very much not into our conversation. After we left, we went shopping across the street, and I remember looking back at him and he was, like, 10 feet behind me because he was so busy texting the ex-girlfriend! I remember thinking, Is this guy serious?

He continued to text her for 30 minutes or so. I remember thinking, Wow, can't wait to get on that plane.

How did you end the relationship?

By phone. He agreed right away. I did receive phone calls, a lot of phone calls after that, though. They were real casual, like nothing happened.

Why do you think that he did this?

I have the same question.

Why did you decide to sue Facebook?

What happened to me isn't justified. I don't understand — they take that long after multiple people reported a situation. How many people does it take? Why is it not taken down? Why is cyber bullying allowed on Facebook?

What do you feel would be an adequate response on Facebook's part in a situation like this?
The photos should come down immediately.

Now that the photos have been taken down, how do you feel?

It is better, but every night when I go to sleep I'm like, I hope I get justice, not just for myself but for future users. I just want justice for what happened.

Follow Tracy on Twitter.


From Cosmopolitan.com. Visit Amazon Beauty Ceneter here

Can Chantelle Brown-Young Become the First Supermodel With Vitiligo?

Sixteen years ago at the age of 4, Toronto-born model Chantelle Brown-Young was diagnosed with vitiligo. Vitiligo is a disease destroys cells that produce pigment, resulting in visible white patches on the skin. A few years ago and 12 years after her diagnosis, Brown Young (whose real name is Winnie Harlow) decided she wanted to pursue modeling, so she messaged photographer Shannon Boodram on Facebook and landed her first photo shoot.

Recently Tyra Banks noticed the budding model, and reached out to her through a fan page created by Brown-Young's 10-year-old sister. "I remember thinking, 'That's cool, but let's not get too excited because this probably isn't real,'" Brown-Young recalls. "But then we looked into it and it was the real deal. Now, Brown-Young is competing on the 21st season of Banks's America's Next Top Model as one of the show's buzziest contestants ever. Ahead, she speaks about how she went from being bullied at school to becoming a working model that has the nation enraptured.

Your first sign of vitiligo cropped up on your stomach when you were 4. How soon after did it start to cover your entire body?

Honestly, I can only go by pictures, so I didn't take heed to the fact that my skin was changing, even though it changed so much. I was a kid, so I just didn't really notice.

You've spoken about getting bullied when you were young. What would other kids say to you and how did that make you feel?

They called me a lot of names like, "cow" and "zebra." I also got into some physical altercations. But I feel like I had to go through those things to make myself stronger.

Did you have a lot of friends?

Growing up I didn't have a lot of real friends, and the people I was friends with I've grown apart from — they were frenemies more than anything. But I didn't have to be validated by friends who would cut me down or say something behind my back. I think you have to feel your best by yourself. I do think it's important to have a solid friend that you can turn to though — one that you can vent to.

How did you overcome being bullied?

I tried to tell myself that I was beautiful. I didn't believe it at the time, but I tried to tell myself that. My confidence was more of a fake it until you make it kind of thing. I tried to build my own confidence and not rely on the opinions of others.

When did you start seeing your skin disease as a positive thing rather than a negative one?

I think it goes back to when I was 16 when I did my first photo shoot with Shannon Boodram. That was how I started modeling. I'd use the pictures from that shoot to go on castings, which benefitted me. I went to a casting for Fashion Art Toronto [an annual series of fashion shows] and booked it, it was the first fashion [job] I had ever done. Then, I ended up doing a lot of runway. I could build a portfolio that way and also encourage myself.

"@fashionarttoronto 2013 my first runway show and the introduction to my passion for modeling (design by@jen_wallaceplayford @kate_wallaceplayford)."

Chantelle modeling at Toronto fashion week.

Have you ever felt like you've been discriminated against in the industry, and if so, how have you dealt with it?

The fact that I've never been signed [by an agency] before shows that I've had trials and tribulations, but even as I grow as a model and in my social following, I've realized that the whole world isn't' going to like me or my look. Even Beyoncè has a ton of fans and haters — the entire world isn't in love with her. You just can't please everyone.

Were you getting a lot of work before you were on ANTM?

Yes and no. I was getting work but not paid work. It makes sense to me though, because the Toronto market is very girl next door, and that's not what I am. So, when someone was interested in me, I would take the job to build my portfolio, and then use those jobs as practice for bigger things that came along.

How do clients usually react to you?

I think my skin condition isn't for everyone. My friends and family see me, but some people just see my skin. If the client is looking for me, they're going to see me. For example, if someone is going to book Cara Delevingne for her striking eyes, they'll book her for her striking eyes. Same goes for my striking skin. I think people are shocked by my skin and how confident I am in it, like when I go out without makeup on.

What happened after Tyra Banks first reached out to you?

It's a long process of making videos of yourself, a lot of back and forth, and a lot of contracts, but when I finally flew out to L.A. to go through the casting process, I was able to skip the open calls, since Tyra wanted me so much. Canadians also aren't allowed to try out, but the show made a special little gateway for me to do so. I ran under the fence [laughs].

What was it like to have Tyra pining for you?

It's one thing to have someone pine after you, but it's another thing to have Tyra pine after you. It meant the world to me that she sought me out so hard and it still does.

Where you always a fan of the show?

Before this all happened I'd catch re-runs on TV and get sucked in, and then I'd look up how to be on ANTM a million zillion times, but it always said if you're not a U.S. citizen you cannot try out, so I never pursued it.

Were you worried that with your skin condition, ANTM would treat you as a "sob story" contestant?

It was actually never a thought in my mind because when it comes to your story, it's all what you portray it as. If I wasn't over being bullied that wouldn't have come through on film, but I've healed from that part of my life, so I knew it wouldn't come across as a sob story.

How did the other models react to your condition?

In the premiere episode of ANTM, there is a girl named Mariana who said, "I think my biggest competition is Chantelle," and I was feeling that too — she even said that to me before she said it on the show. Being so different really makes me stand out, but tied in with my confidence I think it's a positive thing.

Do you see yourself as a role model for other people with vitiligo?

I definitely see myself as a huge inspiration, mainly because people are telling me that I am. I'm constantly getting positive feedback. The other day I had someone message me and say that he was born with only a little bit of his hand and finding my Instagram page really helped him know that yes, he is different but that he doesn't have to hide his hand. Those kind of stories make me feel amazing.

Twenty seasons in, ANTM still hasn't really produced a top model. What motivates you to take part?

I don't want to be too presumptuous, but I hope my modeling career takes off in a huge way. I always wanted to be on this show. It's a great platform that you can do a lot with.

What were some of your wildest/wackiest moments you experienced during filming?

Probably walking out on the runway with pretty much just paint on during the first episode.

On the second episode though, we did our first photo shoot on the beach. It was one of my favorites, not because of the photos that were produced, but because we were meeting Yu Tsai, our mentor. He was crazy and loud and we were on the beach in February in front of heaters in just bathing suits and robes. I was one of the last people to shoot that day and Yusi kept telling everyone, "You need to have energy and confidence and let your light shine through your eyes!" And then when it was my turn, he yelled at me and was like, "Stop! Stop! Everyone, this is how you should be shooting!" When he put the spotlight on me it was a little weird, but cool. It definitely boosted my confidence even though I didn't want to show I loved it too much [laughs].

So, clearly you nail the smize with that type of feedback, right?

Of course! I don't think I'd be able to be on the show if I couldn't [laughs]. Can you smize? You sound like you can based on your laugh.

Thank you. I think so! [Laughs.] Back to you, though — what would you say is the most valuable thing you've learned from Tyra Banks?

She said to me, "I found you myself and you're here because of me, but I won't tread lightly with you. Nothing is a handout, you have to work for it." And that has really stuck with me.

How was it living in that house full of both the girls and guys competing on the show?

There was a lot of drama — it's like living in a sorority, but there are way less bathrooms than a sorority house would have. There were only three, but two that everyone used in the mansion for 14 people. You'd call the shower and leave for five minutes and there was someone else in there already.

Watch Chantelle on America's Next Top Model on the CW Network at 9pm EST on Monday nights.

Follow Carly on Twitter and Instagram.


From Cosmopolitan.com. Visit Amazon Beauty Center here

Friday, February 14, 2014

First Female GM CEO Makes Half Of What Her Predecessor Did

While the new CEO of General Motors, Mary Barra, was namechecked by President Obama during the State of the Union to illustrate how far women in the workplace have come, her paycheck doesn't reflect it. Barra is only making 48 percent of what her predecessor, Dan Akerson, netted in the same position.

Barra gets $4.4 million in total compensation, including a base salary of $1.6 million, in 2014. Akerman, who had far less experience in the industry than Barra, made $9 million in compensation last year, comprised of a $1.7 million base salary and $7.3 million in stock. He also continues to make more than Barra as an advisor to GM.

For the sake of argument, Yahoo Auto argues that the final shareholder quotes won't be rolled out until June, and it's unfair to analyze and judge the discrepancy in Akerman and Barra's wages at this point.

Nevertheless, this reflects the overall state of the wage gap that continues to exist between male and female execs; the latter still make 18 percent less than the men, even the highest-paid employees. Embarrassing.

Follow Anna on Twitter.

Photo Credit: Getty


From Cosmopolitan.com. Visit Amazon Beauty Center here

Sunday, January 12, 2014

First Comes Miscarriage, Then Comes Marriage, Then Comes Baby

“You know you don’t have to marry her just because she’s pregnant?” Those were the first words I heard my future mother-in-law utter over the car speaker after Jason told her I was knocked up.

It was 2008, and we’d been dating only six months. Two months prior, we’d gotten secretly engaged in St. Martin, but I considered it more of a pillow-talk promise I could easily extract myself from if he suddenly turned out to be a sociopath, or somebody who owned a bunch of aquariums. My getting pregnant was a surprise that seemed to derail everything.

Over Christmas, I vaguely remembered taking ecstasy, letting Jason finish inside me, then washing down a morning after pill with the next day’s breakfast. I gave no thought to the notion that I could actually be pregnant. I wasn’t even sure I could get pregnant. I was 28 years old and I’d never been on birth control. Granted, I never let guys finish inside me. But it was the holidays, and I guess I was just feeling festive.

I didn’t realize my womb was inhabited until New Year’s. Jason and I were skiing with friends in Vermont when I started experiencing what I assumed were the worst menstrual cramps of my life. My boobs were swollen torpedoes of estrogen, and every couple of seconds I’d check behind me to make sure I wasn’t turning my double black diamond red. After two more days of not switching into period underwear, I grew concerned and bought pregnancy test. Like buying a Lotto ticket or a rolled up drugstore scroll with my horoscope on it, I wasn’t expecting anything except a few seconds of entertainment followed by a tinge of resentment and the desire for my money back. Sitting on the toilet in a freezing cold bathroom, wearing nothing but thermal socks and a headband, I focused intently on the plastic wand holding my destiny. Less than a minute, a smug pink smiley face looked up at me, and I crumbled into my lap hyperventilating. Jason rushed in to see if I was OK.

“Well?” he asked.

“I can’t breathe. This can’t be happening. I’m gonna faint.” I hobbled out of the bathroom and threw myself prostrate on the floor hoping to instantly miscarry.

“Wow. OK. Well, we can handle this.” Jason picked me up and put me on the bed.

“I’m too young to be a parent, Jason! I’m a mere child myself!!” I thrashed around in a full-blown tantrum.

“You’re 28. Actually, you’re 28 and a half so basically you’re 29,” he said, thinking he was comforting me. “Let’s take a beat and think this through.”

“OK … But I don’t want a baby.” I said, now cloaked in a plaid comforter I assumed made me invisible.

I spent the rest of the trip skiing like I was a stunt man in a Warren Miller film. I darted in and out of trees without braking, tried to complete an entire run on one leg, and even attempted a jump I’d researched on YouTube known as a “Screamin’ Semen.” There wasn’t any point in holding back. As far as I was concerned, my life was over. Not only was I knocked up, I was only five months away from being 29, which was only 12 months away from being 30, which was basically dead. I figured I should at least die doing something interesting enough for Jason to talk about at dinner parties.

Three days later, I was still alive and Jason’s screamin’ semen was still burrowed inside me. We’d spent the last 72 hours — the same window I was supposed to be guaranteed by my bunk morning after pill — legitimately weighing our options. My initial instinct was to have an abortion. Most of my girlfriends had survived them without complications or remorse. It was, after all, the 21st century. I was an independent woman living in a country that for the moment still granted me the freedom to make my own choices with my body. The only thing holding me back was Jason. He wasn’t some random dude I’d rear-ended while pulling out of the Rite Aid parking lot. Sure, I’d slept with that guy, but I obviously wouldn’t have thought twice about not having his baby. Jason was different. I was in love with him. In my mind, having an abortion meant running the risk of ruining our relationship. I didn’t want to look back and feel resentment toward him for allowing me to destroy something that was a part of us, or vice versa. The more we talked, the more we realized we had to have the baby. Despite the timing being a little off, I wanted children eventually, and who better to do it with than the person I was already secretly engaged to?

Eventually, Jason’s mom came to terms with the fact that her son was going to have a child and probably marry someone that wasn’t her. My family, also initially concerned, warmed up to the idea once they realized Jason was rich.

We spent the next three months preparing for parenthood by moving in together, getting into couples’ therapy, and buying an SUV. The circumstances didn't allow us time to play games. We had to abandon our egos and just be vulnerable. We opened up about our own childhoods and forged pacts about the things we wanted to do differently. We read books and attended classes. We even borrowed a friend's kid one night for a trial run. But as my hormone levels continued to rise, so did my paranoia. Sometimes I’d look over in bed and imagine every worse case scenario. What if he was a serial killer? What if he was a child molester? What if he was somebody who goes to Burning Man?

“Let me out of the car! I don’t even know you! You’ve completely hijacked my life! I want my life back!” I screamed on our way to a routine doctor’s visit.

Set off by the fact that Jason’s flesh reeked of matzo brie, I tried to jump from the car.

“Sit down! Jenny, sit the fuck down now!” he said, trying to hold me in place by the hood of my sweatshirt.

Unlike most couples, we were having our first fight with the realization that we were to be tethered to each other for all of eternity. Something bigger than us was already in motion. We were having a child, and there was no backing out.

At the doctor’s office that day, we were given some shocking news. Our fetus was over us. He had deemed us unfit parents. His heart rate had slowed, and it was merely going to be a matter of time before I miscarried. The fear and anxiety, even the weird smell of Jason’s flesh, all of it faded to the background as we locked bodies and started crying. Everything that had been moving so fast suddenly came to a grinding halt. The only thing remaining was my intense love for Jason. The events bonded us in such a way that I knew we were meant to be forever. Less than a month later, we eloped.

People assumed we’d try to get pregnant again right away, but we didn’t. In fact, we waited over five years. We wanted to give our relationship time to grow and blossom. We also secretly wanted a few more years of feeling young, skinny, and like we could do ecstasy without accidentally murdering anyone.

I don’t know that I woke up one day and suddenly knew it was the right time to try again. In fact, I probably could have gone another five years had Jason not informed me that I was now 34 and a half, which was basically 35, which was basically 40.

Getting pregnant this time around wasn’t nearly as easy, partially because figuring out when you’re ovulating requires an understanding of second-grade math, and partially because the universe never cooperates when you try to control it. I spent a solid year casually fucking around with thermometers and period-tracking apps for my iPhone, when finally my sister insisted I try using a digital ovulation stick. Three months of dragging my heels and getting waylaid by online sample sales later, I bought one. Twenty-eight days after that, I was pregnant. Once again, I crumbled into my lap hyperventilating, but this time it was with excitement. I didn’t particularly feel any more prepared, any less afraid, or any more certain Jason wouldn’t eventually attend Burning Man. The only thing I knew with confidence was that I was ready to have my life hijacked. Which is all to say, we’re keeping it.


Jenny Mollen is the author of the upcoming book I Like You Just the Way I Am: Stories About Me and Some Other People. Follow her on Twitter.


Photo Credit: Instagram


From Cosmopolitan.com. Visit Amazon Beauty Ceneter here

Lupita Nyong'o Lands Her First Fashion Campaign

Breakout actress-of-the-moment and fashion plate Lupita Nyong'o fronts Miu Miu's spring/summer 2014 ads. That's one major film role (12 Years a Slave) under her belt/tasseled sash, and one major fashion campaign to boot — pretty impressive stats for someone fresh on the Hollywood scene. In addition to being strikingly beautiful (miutiful?), the ads and her new partnership with the fashion brand presumably mean she's all set in terms of her awards-season wardrobe.

Miu Miu's campaign imagery also features Elle Fanning, Elizabeth Olsen, and Bella Heathcote. See their photos here. 

Follow Alex on Twitter.

Photo credit: courtesy of Miu Miu


From Cosmopolitan.com. Visit Amazon Beauty Center here

Monday, September 23, 2013

Quvenzhane Wallis Adorable In First Shot From <i>Annie</i> Set

New photographs show 10 year-old Oscar nominee Quvenzhane Wallis — who found fame thanks to a wonderful performance in last year’s indie hit Beasts of the Southern Wild — filming the remake of classic musical Annie in Harlem, NYC.

She’s playing the titular role, and her jewel-covered tee is just lovely. (Here’s a vaguely similar one, courtesy of British designer Henry Holland, if you’re as inspired by it as I am right now.)

She’ll be starring alongside Jamie Foxx and Cameron Diaz among others, while Jay-Z and Will Smith have signed on as producers. Smith’s daughter Willow had previously been tapped for the lead, but decided to pass on the opportunity earlier this year. Annie is loosely scheduled for release in December 2014.

Photo Credit: SplashNews

From Cosmopolitan.com. Visit Handbags reviews and advice for best reference here

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

5 Tips to Get You Through the First Week of College

Back in college, I was a student trying to balance classes, two jobs, and two internships with being a Resident Assistant. Yeaaah, that's right. I was Ms. Buzz Kill. Whatever. It got me free housing. But I've seen it all. So whether you're a college newbie or a seasoned student, these tips will get you through the first week.

1. Be open to making new friends.
The biggest mistake I saw my residents make is trying to force a friendship with their roommate because they think they are supposed to be BFFs. Wrong. You can be friendly with your roomie, but they certainly do not have to be your best friend. That's a relationship that will either naturally form, or not. And if you're a returning student, don't knock befriending someone you haven't met in your prior time on campus. Some of my closest friends I met were in my senior year of college (hi, Nick Schweers!).

2. Don't over pack.
Rule: You will not wear 50 percent of the stuff you bring to college—so whatever you're planning to bring, cut it in half. You can always grab your winter coat during all the random-ass fall breaks or over Thanksgiving.

3. Remember to buy this tiny essential.
The one thing that I found the most useful is: ear plugs. These are very important because the walls of where you're living will probably be paper thin and college students have a lot of sex. Like, A LOT. Whether you have a roomie or not, you WILL hear someone in your hall getting it on. Also, people can be really loud late at night for no f*cking reason. Ear plugs will help you have a sound sleep...until the fire alarm goes off for the umpteenth time. =\

4. Jot down important numbers.
Take time to load all the necessary stuff you're told during orientation into your phone. Take a picture of the campus map so you don't feel like a total frosh. Also, save the number of the local cab companies and surrounding food places that deliver. Four words: Late night study sessions.

5. Socialize as much as possible.
Sure, it's tempting to obsess over setting up your new room or spend minutes-turned-hours chatting with your high school bestie on Facebook, but you can do all that during the semester. Get out and have fun, because once classes get started, you won't have much of a life. You'll be too busy with procrastinating school work.

Want more from Dara? Follow her on Facebook and Twitter @dadeeyo.

Photo: Credit Everett/Touchstone


From Cosmopolitan.com. Visit Handbags reviews and advice for best reference here

Monday, August 19, 2013

Random Sex Is Okay At a Party, But Not On a First Date (Huh?)

While hooking up in college doesn't happen as much as most people think, clearly, it does happen. But what's considered acceptable when it comes to sex might surprise you.

In a new study of nearly 300 college students, many said that it's totally fine and normal to have sex at a party (among the Solo cups and beer sludge) but not on a first date—even if the couple in question had previously had sex.

Sorry but, um, we're a little confused.  

According to the survey results, part of the reason why a random hookup at a frat house would be totally kosher but getting busy on a first date–with a guy whose last name you actually know—is not? Alcohol. Forty percent of respondents said that booze would be flowing in a party sitch but not so much on a first date—meaning, we assume, that you can use insobriety as an excuse for the party boning, thus making it easier to explain.

"Our findings suggest that different behavior by the exact same people is really based on the context or the situation...not necessarily just the person, who they are, their values or their desires," said study researcher Gretchen Webber of Middle Tennessee State University. "It really shows the dominance of the setting for directing people’s behavior."

Not surprisingly, some of the survey-takers said that first date sex would reflect poorly on those having it—particularly on women. Overall, the results seem to suggest that being on a date requires people to adopt more conservative behavior—especially us ladies—in order to not tarnish our good names. Which totally harks of outdated, old-timey (and, dare we say, sexist?) dating standards. 

It's pretty crazy-slash-sad that in 2013, it's considered acceptable to have loveless, meaningless sex that you can blame on being drunk, but getting busy with someone you might actually like, when you have all of wits about you, is cause for major judgment. Something just isn't right about that…

Want more from Natasha? Follow her on Twitter or find her on Facebook.

Photo: Sony


From Cosmopolitan.com. Visit Handbags reviews and advice for best reference here

My First Action-Packed Hour On Tinder

A lot of girls think that Tinder is a joke, or at least pretend to, the same way that we used to hear things about sex in high school and be like "Ew, gross!" but were also secretly turned on. ("The guys just got back from football practice and they're all sweaty." "Ewww! That's sooo disgusting. I'm not thinking about penises at all right now!")

Admittedly, Tinder is pretty hilarious. However, I am one of those super-picky daters who is only sustained by the belief that love — or, at the very least, the chance for really awesome sex — might be anywhere: A cute waiter, a guy on the train, a husky guy I once saw walking a husky on the street (!!!) (I almost ran after him). Sure, for the first 26 years of my life, I have had crappy dating luck, but any day now, it could hit me, right? Like an anvil from the sky in a Roadrunner cartoon. So, hell, why not on a hookup app?

I am hesitant about Tinder for a few reasons: One, I am terrified of running into an ex on it. Two, it's not quite the "We met during World War II and wrote long letters while he was stationed in Brussels and then we got married" story you wanna tell your grandkids.

On the bright side, you don't have to write an elaborate profile about your likes and dislikes, and I don't have to take a shot every time I read that a dude from Brooklyn loves Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

Here's how my first hour on Tinder went...

0:01 Co-workers convince me to download. Me: "Are you sure this won't connect to my Facebook?"

Them: "Yes."

Me: "And I won't see my exes on it?"

Them: "It's unlikely."

Hit "Download." Blood begins rushing to my head immediately.

"Are you sure?"

0:05 Hit with staggering array of men from all walks of life who are near 57th Street as we speak. Tall ones, short ones, ones wearing sunglasses inside, more than a few shirtless ones, one that appeared to be taken at a Renaissance Faire (better birth control has never been invented), far too many art-school beanies than I am comfortable with, and one who bore a striking similarity to Ellen DeGeneres.

Many were under 19. I change my settings — the candidates became slightly more appropriate. Gird loins and begin sliding through the pictures.

0:10 "Does this even end up being anything?" I ask. "Do guys ever actually ask you out on here?"

"My friend met a guy on Tinder, and now they're getting married," said my co-worker Michelle, who is married but did not meet her husband on Tinder.

My co-worker Dara used to be on Tinder, but didn't go out with anyone.

"Why not?" I ask.

"They were all DTF," she says. "I was more down to f*ck... for life. DTFL."

Get freaked out when I realize that my main photo, pulled from my Facebook profile, is a photograph of myself as a child... and people are choosing me anyway. Off to an auspicious start.

00:20 A thing that the men on Tinder seem not to realize  — or at least the ones near 57th Street and between the ages of 29 to 40 — is that posing with large groups of women at Da Club for a main photo does not make us go "Oh! Yes, him." It makes us go "Oh, I wonder if that is the kind of decision that will lead to Monistat."

Rule out any candidates who are rapelling, spelunking, surfing, running marathons, or doing anything else remotely healthy; I am a "watch Nashville on the computer all day and take a nap in a giant bowl of sour cream together" kind of girlfriend.

Rule out anyone wearing sunglasses indoors.

Rule out anyone who appears to be posing with their child. (No baggage, please.)

Rule out anyone who looks like they don't tip well.

00:30 First mutual match, Cute Shirtless Dude In Repose On Beach, messages me.

Hey Anna what's up.
Have small panic attack. Ask co-workers what to say. Brief powwow.
Nothing really, you?
Just chilling.
Conversation trails off. But he was my first, so I will always remember him.

00:40 Second mutual match, Guy Who Sort Of Looks Like An Older Justin Bieber And Also Is Wearing A Similar-Style Baseball Cap, messages me.

Hey pretty
Hi there
Wat's up?!
Nothing much, at work, you?
Nice. Im just chillin at home.

"Do any of these guys work?" I ask.

Nobody at the table seems to know.

00:45 One otherwise-normal looking man has a raccoon on his head. Click yes, because f*ck it.

1:00 Bored of it. Good game, Tinder.

Follow Anna on Twitter.

Image courtesy Getty


From Cosmopolitan.com. Visit Handbags reviews and advice for best reference here

Sunday, August 18, 2013

Cosmo Exclusive! The First Affair

White House intern getting hot and heavy with the Prez? Sound familiar?! Move over Carlos Danger (aka Weiner) and get ready for the most scandalous event of the summer—The First Affair: A Novel by Emma McLaughlin and Nicola Kraus, the same authors who brought you The Nanny Diaries, Between You and Me, and more. Take a sneak peak at the teaser trailer for the page-turning book that’s going to hit stores August 27th.

Join Cosmo Wednesday August 21 in New York City at Word For Word, a free lunchtime reading series in the beautiful Bryant Park from 12.30 – 1.45pm. We’ll be asking Emma McLaughlin and Nicola Kraus to fill us in on all the juicy details. You’ll also be able to snag advance copies of the book. Find out more about the event at bryantpark.org.

Readers can purchase the book at: http://www.amazon.com/The-First-Affair-A-Novel/dp/145164342X

Keep up with Emma and Nicola at: http://emmaandnicola.com/
@NannyDiaries


From Cosmopolitan.com. Visit Handbags reviews and advice for best reference here

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Sex on the First Date

We used to think that falling into bed with someone too soon would disqualify you from being considered girlfriend material. But welcome to 2013, when the world is a lot less sexist than it used to be.

"In this day and age, more people recognize sex as an important component of a successful relationship, not something to be ashamed of," says Justin Lehmiller, PhD, a social psychologist at Harvard who studies relationships and sexuality. "For those people, it's important to establish sexual compatibility early on, and having sex on the first date may be the right move for them."

Ultimately, getting nekkid with some dude you've known for only 2.5 hours may not be your thing, and that's fine too. The point is that hard-and-fast dating rules (like "No sex till date three") and old-fashioned expressions like the vile "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" are antiquated and harmful—they produce all this unnecessary anxiety and shame about something normal and natural: dating and sex.

At Cosmo, we're all about breaking the rules, so when the new book It's Okay to Sleep With Him on the First Date: And Every Other Rule of Dating, Debunked landed on our desks, we were inspired to launch our own investigation. We polled almost 1,000 18- to 35-year-olds about their attitudes on sex on the first date and whether they've actually done it. And we gave the book's coauthor, Jeff Wilser, a chance to break down his POV.

You go on a date. It's fun. You hook up…and then he loses interest. Why did this happen? Who knows: Maybe he's too picky, maybe he doesn't feel a spark, maybe he's commitmentphobic, or maybe he's just a game-playing douche.

There is one variable, however, that almost never feeds into the equation: whether you "gave it up" too soon. It's a misconception that is held by millions (spoiler alert: Cosmo's poll found that 83 percent of women believe men think less of a woman who has sex on the first date), but the truth is, most guys just don't think like that (67 percent of guys polled say they absolutely don't). Men are simple creatures. In the history of planet Earth, no guy has ever said, "She's awesome. She's intelligent. She's sexy, and she's into Game of Thrones. There's only one problem.…We hooked up on the first date."

"If the moment feels right, and there's chemistry, why not sleep together?" says my friend Teddy, a designer, who has the guts to say what most guys really think. When he was 23 and living in Austin, Texas, a female bartender thought he was cute and asked him out. On their first date, they slammed tequila shots, danced to Patsy Cline, hailed a cab, made out in the back seat, and then stumbled into her apartment to do what single people do. Did Teddy think that she wasn't girlfriend material? The question strikes him as ridiculous. "After a first date hookup, all I think about is whether I like her, whether she's smart and funny, and if I want to see her again." He did. They dated exclusively for a few months, and no, while it didn't end in a wedding (most relationships don't), their breakup had nothing to do with the boozy romp.

If there's chemistry, there's chemistry, and from the guy's perspective, it doesn't really matter if we hook up on date one or date seven. I don't say this lightly. I just cowrote a dating book about it. As part of our research, my cowriter (relationship expert Andrea Syrtash) and I heard hundreds of men say the same thing again and again: Men are unfazed by first-date booty.

Let's look at Exhibit B. A few years ago, Phil from Chicago (then 36 and an exec at a chocolate company) visited some friends in Toronto. He hit it off with a woman named Rica, who decided to seduce him. "I just wanted to get laid," Rica told me, laughing. "I had bought a new $5,000 bed, and I wanted to break it in."

The conventional wisdom would say that Rica made a mistake. Acted too aggressively. Misplayed the game. The almighty judges who make The Rules would be shocked—shocked!—to learn that when the back of Rica's dress tore open, she turned to Phil and said, "Well, I guess you're going to have to keep your hand on my ass all night." Phil told the conventional wisdom to go to hell. "It wasn't a red flag. It was super hot and sexy. And then, the next morning, it was so much more intimate. We got to know each other, and we found that we had so much in common." They broke every rule. They christened Rica's bed, spent the weekend together, held hands at the coffee shop, and when Phil returned home to Chicago, "It felt magical, like we were already boyfriend and girlfriend."

How about Phil's buddies? Did they snicker, disapprove, and warn that she's only booty-call material? That's not how we operate. "My friends just told me, 'You lucky devil!" Phil e-mailed Rica to say that if she came to visit, he would make her an elaborate six-course dinner of scallops, monkfish, and lime sorbet. She hopped a flight to Chicago, he cooked, and they started dating long-distance.

Okay. It's time for a key clarification. I'm not saying that you should hook up on the first date. I'm not arguing that it will boost your odds of finding love. That logic is nutty, and I have no idea if it makes sense from your perspective. Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't, and there are 357 valid reasons to wait, including: If you think the guy's acting sketchy, if you have religious or moral reasons, if he uses the expression YOLO, if you want to ratchet up the delayed gratification, if his texts include ROFL, if he enjoyed Fifty Shades of Grey, if you're a virgin, if you have an STD. (Obvious? I'd hope so. But my lawyer is forcing me to type these disclaimers at gunpoint.) All I'm saying is that if you want to hook up, we're not going to think less of you. You shouldn't feel guilty. You shouldn't feel ashamed.

(A final disclaimer: This is true for most guys—not every guy. The roots of this double-standard go back to the twisted mind-set that a guy who sleeps around is a stud and a woman who sleeps around is a slut. It's ugly, unfair, and openly sexist. And would you really want to date that kind of hypocrite anyway?)

When researching the book, we found that many women decided to wait for their own reasons. "If you know that sleeping with someone won't bring out your best or will make you needy, it's a good idea to wait," says Andrea Syrtash, my cowriter on the book. "However, don't wait because you think the guy will lose respect or interest. Wait because of how it will affect you. It's really not about him. Guys who are interested in you will still call and pursue you after they've seen you naked."

Confession time: It's also possible that we won't call after a first-night hookup. This happens. I've had dates where I was only kinda-sorta feeling it, then we drank a round of margaritas, then another round, and soon we're making out and hooking up. (Stay classy, Jeff!) Then the next morning, we're sober. The spark is gone, and date two never happens. The fallacy, though, is thinking that date two would have happened if we had skipped the nooky. That's misidentifying the root cause. If the man and the woman are a match, it doesn't really matter when they hook up. Corollary: If they're not a match, it also doesn't really matter.

As for Phil and Rica? Eventually he moved to Toronto to live with her. They traveled to England as a couple, toured the countryside, and even stayed in a stone castle…where he took out a diamond ring and popped the question. She said yes!

Jeff Wilser is the New York–based coauthor of It's Okay to Sleep With Him on the First Date: And Every Other Rule of Dating, Debunked.


From Cosmopolitan.com. Visit Handbags reviews and advice for best reference here

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

The First Lady Wears Essie Just Like You Do

...The First Lady on Scandal, that is. Mellie Grant aka Bellamy Young paid a visit to Cosmo yesterday and we couldn't help but notice her light pink polish.

The shade, which she revealed as Essie's Spaghetti Straps, $8, essie.com, is a sheer pink peony that we're now obsessed with.

"It matches Mellie's (and my) skin tone perfectly, so it's what she wears all of the time," the actress told us. But what we thought was super cool is that she took a cue from her own character and actually prefers to wear the shade in real life!

But don't worry, even if you're not team Mellie, you can still take her polish tip straight to the salon. Don't worry, we won't tell Olivia.

Photo: Courtesy Image/Getty Images

Follow Carly Cardellino on Facebook and Twitter.


From Cosmopolitan.com. Visit Handbags reviews and advice for best reference here

Monday, May 20, 2013

Getting Your Vagina on the Ball: Inside My First Sexual Fitness Class

It’s Sunday afternoon and I’m at the gym grinding my crotch and anus into a medicine ball. I can explain. Today, I am taking a private exercise class called Women’s Sexual Fitness taught by 57-year-old chiropractor and personal trainer Edythe Heus. For the next 50 minutes, I am going to do things to a bouncy ball that would have me arrested in most states (definitely Texas). The point of the class is to use your lower abdominals to awaken sexual energy and strengthen orgasms. It's Pilates Gone Wild.

It all started back in 1997, when Edyth was living in Dana Point, Calif. working as a private chiropractor for Major League Baseball players. After a few months of training something strange happened. “One of the players came into my office and asked, ‘Am I supposed to feel really horny after doing these ab exercises?”

Edythe was secretly relieved that she wasn’t the only person who had a mean case of the tingles after training. “Then another client asked me the same thing, and another, and finally after ten people came to me with the same question, I couldn’t ignore it anymore. I was like, ‘The universe is telling me something!’ So I decided to start my own program.”

Although she knew she was onto something good, she didn't unveil the program right away. Afraid that teaching a class with an erotic slant might discredit her as an athletic trainer, she kept her sexual fitness program under wraps. Now that she owns three gyms, has over 100 trainers working for her and a dedicated client base, she's ready to share her expertise. "I want people to perceive this class, not as anything pornographic, but as a natural, essential part of health, wellness and personal fulfillment."

On the gym's website the class is described as, "a 50 minute class for all women wishing to awaken or expand their sexual fitness and energy to give rise to improved pelvic floor tone, sexual pleasure, enhanced athleticism, abdominal tone and feminine empowerment."

I'm sold. I enroll in the class and head to Revolution in Motion gym in New York City. Before I leave the house, though, I call to ask about the dress code. What exactly does one wear to a sexual fitness class? "Just bring nipple tassles and a hula hoop," the receptionist said. No, she didn’t say that, she just told me to wear comfortable yoga clothes.

When I arrive at the gym, Edythe is there to greet me. Standing under five feet tall, with miniature hands and feet and a pixie haircut, she looks like Tinker Bell in Sporty Spice drag. In a form-fitting tank-top, I notice her sculpted arms, toned back and flat abs, there's not a wrinkle in sight. If I look that good at 57, I'm throwing myself a party.

"There is another class going on at the same time as ours," she explains. "So we have to share the room." That means that while Edythe shows me how to work my bone-zone another trainer five feet away is teaching students how to blast their quads. Awkward.

The first exercise Edythe has me do is bounce up-and-down on a ball. It's kind of weird at first because we are both silently bouncing in unison and staring at each other. It feels like we're in some surreal performance art piece. I'm not sure if I should smile or say something. Thankfully, Edythe rescues me with some instructions. “I want you to feel your entire vagina on the ball, really press it on there.” Then she stares at my privates and asks, “Are you feeling anything?”

I make eye contact with one of the men doing calf-lifts on the other side of the gym and get red.

“Well...are you?”

“Yes,” I shame-mumble to the floor. “It feels kinda tingly.”

“Great! That’s just what we want!” She beams. “We are trying to move energy from your vagina to the top of your head. Tell me when you’re head is buzzing.”

After a couple more minutes, I start to relax and have some fun. “What’s so weird about two adult women doing synchronized erotic bouncing, anyway?” I ask myself.

After we both get mildly light-headed, we switch to another move. Straddling the ball we slowly move our hips from side-to-side. Within five seconds I realize something new about myself: I LOVE WORKING OUT! I am totally turned on and I even feel my abs getting stronger. By this point both Edythe and I are feeling way more relaxed and silly. We start cracking dirty jokes and acting like old drinking buddies.

The next exercise is on the floor. With our backs on the ground we lift up our hips and place our feet on the ball. Our legs are open wide in a diamond shape, stretching out the groin.

“This is a good exercise to prepare you for missionary-style sex and cunnilingus because it helps you to relax with your legs open.” “Oh, don’t worry Edythe, I know how to relax in this position.” We high-five.

After a couple more floor exercises and squats we are ready for the final cool down. The last exercise of class is maybe the best thing I've ever done. You just drape yourself onto the ball and rock back and forth until you're in a deep trance.

By the time class is over I feel like I've had a full body massage— just completely relaxed and totally horny. As I gather my things to leave Edythe calls out to me, "Good luck, Rose! I hope you have sex tonight!" Me, too Edythe, me too.

I turned to look around the studio one more time before leaving. I am sort of sad to part ways with the medicine ball after everything we've been through. “I’ll never forget you," I whisper to the used piece of gym equipment and then turn and walk away.

Want more musings from Rose? Follow her on Twitter.


From Cosmopolitan.com. Visit Handbags reviews and advice for best reference here

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

More Guys Than Gals Fall In Love At First Sight

Korin Miller
Korin is the site director for Cosmopolitan.com. She loves uncovering cool new research and learning more about what makes guys tick. Outside the Cosmo office, you can find her running with her dog, trying to convince friends to go to karaoke bars, and watching as much reality TV as humanly possible. Hit her up on Twitter: @korinmiller
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Michelle Ruiz
Michelle is the news editor for Cosmopolitan.com. She's obsessed with interviewing celebrities and spotting the latest pop culture trends. Her life highlights include chatting with Ryan Gosling about sex dolls, dancing on stage at the Oprah show, and shopping with her mom on Long Island. Tweet her: @michelleruiz
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Dara Adeeyo
Dara is the associate web editor for Cosmopolitan.com. She's intrigued by all things digital. Dara loves playing with html and discovering new studies. When she's not reading up on the latest cocktail recipes (for work, of course), she can be found breaking it down on the dance floor or watching the Investigative Discovery channel. She also has a sick obsession with nail polish, elephants, and most importantly, Nutella. Dara basically lives on Twitter, so tweet at her and say hey: @dadeeyo.
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Elisa Benson
Elisa Benson is the senior editor of social media for @Cosmopolitan?so, yes, she tweets about sex for a living. Elisa grew up in Ohio, attended Colgate University, and wrote love and relationship advice for Seventeen before graduating to Cosmo. She lives for girly things (weddings and eyelash extensions and Pretty Little Liars?) and frequently tweets about all of the above: @elisabenson.
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From Cosmopolitan.com. Visit Handbags reviews and advice for best reference here

Friday, April 19, 2013

Will a Married Couple Be the First to Have Space Sex?

Korin Miller
Korin is the site director for Cosmopolitan.com. She loves uncovering cool new research and learning more about what makes guys tick. Outside the Cosmo office, you can find her running with her dog, trying to convince friends to go to karaoke bars, and watching as much reality TV as humanly possible. Hit her up on Twitter: @korinmiller
Read More

Find all posts by Korin
Contact Korin

Michelle Ruiz
Michelle is the news editor for Cosmopolitan.com. She's obsessed with interviewing celebrities and spotting the latest pop culture trends. Her life highlights include chatting with Ryan Gosling about sex dolls, dancing on stage at the Oprah show, and shopping with her mom on Long Island. Tweet her: @michelleruiz
Read More

Find all posts by Michelle
Contact Michelle

Dara Adeeyo
Dara is the associate web editor for Cosmopolitan.com. She's intrigued by all things digital. Dara loves playing with html and discovering new studies. When she's not reading up on the latest cocktail recipes (for work, of course), she can be found breaking it down on the dance floor or watching the Investigative Discovery channel. She also has a sick obsession with nail polish, elephants, and most importantly, Nutella. Dara basically lives on Twitter, so tweet at her and say hey: @dadeeyo.
Read More

Find all posts by Dara
Contact Dara

Elisa Benson
Elisa Benson is the senior editor of social media for @Cosmopolitan?so, yes, she tweets about sex for a living. Elisa grew up in Ohio, attended Colgate University, and wrote love and relationship advice for Seventeen before graduating to Cosmo. She lives for girly things (weddings and eyelash extensions and Pretty Little Liars?) and frequently tweets about all of the above: @elisabenson.
Read More

Find all posts by Elisa
Contact Elisa

From Cosmopolitan.com. Visit Handbags reviews and advice for best reference here

Thursday, April 18, 2013

First Vacation with Your New Boyfriend? Read This First.

moving cross country, finding a great partner... or lobbing off all your hair a la Karlie Kloss). But don't fret: It's not an impossible task. It just takes some thought—and great advice.

"A lot of times people don't like what they're doing in their current job, but they haven't defined what they want to be doing in their potential new job," Nicole Williams, career expert and author of Girl On Top, tells Cosmopolitan.com.

She says nabbing your dream job starts with doing some soul-searching: "I ask people to assess components of their current working life, and match them against the career they are looking to get into."

Try asking yourself these questions...

Time: How many hours do you want to work and in what kind of environment? Big company, small, telecommute, work-from-home flexibility (you know, the kind banned at Yahoo!)

Challenge Level: How important is growth potential and being challenged to you? Are you ambitious and ready to lean in, or just looking for a 9 to 5 to fill your time?

Work Environment: Define your best possible scenario in terms of work relationships. Who are you working with and for? What kind of boss would be ideal? Do you have dreams of becoming a boss?

Passion: How important is passion to you? For example, a woman we know races triathlons and feels like she doesn't need to be passionate about her job; her passion is attached to her sport.

6. Money: How much do you need to make? How much money do you want to make?

Steps To Making A Career Change

Stop Delaying

"The longer you are in the job you are thinking of leaving, the further away you are from new opportunity," says Williams. "It doesn't get any easier. Doing it earlier is emotionally, mentally and professionally better."

Be Willing To Sacrifice Something

You may have to start from the bottom (or the middle) and work your way to the top; Either way, be ready to drop a few rungs on the corporate ladder.

"Internships can be a good idea—or be willing to take a pay cut," says Williams. "If this internship, for example, introduces you to influential people and helps develop a skill-set, you'll be able to take these things to leverage them into a bigger position."

Start Saving

"Have a solid idea of the risk and savings in the bank," advises Williams. Even if it means cutting back on luxuries. "If you know the internship is going to last for six months at a minimum, that's the number you need to have in savings, and I normally advise 10 to 20 percent in savings as a risk buffer."

Network

"People love to talk about themselves," says Williams. "Find them on LinkedIn and through people you know, and consult with them."

Williams suggests asking those in similar fields questions like, "I wonder if you'd speak to me about your day-to-day life; What do you love most about the work that you do; What do you wish you would have known going into this career?"

"Those kind of questions are going to give you the information you need and will help you know the people you are going to need to know," she adds.

Now that you are armed with more than just your resume and a fresh manicure, it's time to start hitting the pavement. Happy hunting, gals.

Want more stories from Carson? Follow her on Twitter.

Photo Credit: Getty Images">

moving cross country, finding a great partner... or lobbing off all your hair a la Karlie Kloss). But don't fret: It's not an impossible task. It just takes some thought—and great advice.

"A lot of times people don't like what they're doing in their current job, but they haven't defined what they want to be doing in their potential new job," Nicole Williams, career expert and author of Girl On Top, tells Cosmopolitan.com.

She says nabbing your dream job starts with doing some soul-searching: "I ask people to assess components of their current working life, and match them against the career they are looking to get into."

Try asking yourself these questions...

Time: How many hours do you want to work and in what kind of environment? Big company, small, telecommute, work-from-home flexibility (you know, the kind banned at Yahoo!)

Challenge Level: How important is growth potential and being challenged to you? Are you ambitious and ready to lean in, or just looking for a 9 to 5 to fill your time?

Work Environment: Define your best possible scenario in terms of work relationships. Who are you working with and for? What kind of boss would be ideal? Do you have dreams of becoming a boss?

Passion: How important is passion to you? For example, a woman we know races triathlons and feels like she doesn't need to be passionate about her job; her passion is attached to her sport.

6. Money: How much do you need to make? How much money do you want to make?

Steps To Making A Career Change

Stop Delaying

"The longer you are in the job you are thinking of leaving, the further away you are from new opportunity," says Williams. "It doesn't get any easier. Doing it earlier is emotionally, mentally and professionally better."

Be Willing To Sacrifice Something

You may have to start from the bottom (or the middle) and work your way to the top; Either way, be ready to drop a few rungs on the corporate ladder.

"Internships can be a good idea—or be willing to take a pay cut," says Williams. "If this internship, for example, introduces you to influential people and helps develop a skill-set, you'll be able to take these things to leverage them into a bigger position."

Start Saving

"Have a solid idea of the risk and savings in the bank," advises Williams. Even if it means cutting back on luxuries. "If you know the internship is going to last for six months at a minimum, that's the number you need to have in savings, and I normally advise 10 to 20 percent in savings as a risk buffer."

Network

"People love to talk about themselves," says Williams. "Find them on LinkedIn and through people you know, and consult with them."

Williams suggests asking those in similar fields questions like, "I wonder if you'd speak to me about your day-to-day life; What do you love most about the work that you do; What do you wish you would have known going into this career?"

"Those kind of questions are going to give you the information you need and will help you know the people you are going to need to know," she adds.

Now that you are armed with more than just your resume and a fresh manicure, it's time to start hitting the pavement. Happy hunting, gals.

Want more stories from Carson? Follow her on Twitter.

Photo Credit: Getty Images">Whether you're a doctor who dreams of doing hair, or a hairdresser dreaming of climbing the corporate ladder, career expert Nicole Williams has pro tips on how to get started.


From Cosmopolitan.com. Visit Handbags reviews and advice for best reference here

Thursday, April 11, 2013

My First Year as a Woman

At age 5, Tommy Gabel happened to catch a Madonna concert on TV. That's me! he thought to himself, entranced. That's who I'll be when I grow up. Lots of little girls want to become Madonna—the problem was, Tommy felt like he was a girl even though he had a boy's body. Seeing Mia Farrow with her Rosemary's Baby–era pixie cut, which looked like his own boy haircut, inspired him: "She was my hero."

Soon, Tommy started nosing around his mom's closet. He would build forts out of pillows and sneak in a pair of his mom's nylons. In middle school, he started shoplifting girls' clothes. "Putting them on made me feel calmer, more like myself. It was a stress relief," says Tommy—now Laura. Growing up in Florida in the pre-internet '80s and '90s, Tommy had no examples of people experiencing what he was. "We had Silence of the Lambs and Ace Ventura. Society doesn't portray transsexual people in a very positive light. Every example I saw—mostly transvestites, and I didn't know the difference—reinforced the shame I felt." (One is a term for some one who likes to cross-dress. The other is a complicated reality for more than 700,000 people in America.)

One day, 13-year-old Tommy found an encyclopedia entry about Renée Richards, a transgender tennis pro in the '70s who was born a man but underwent sex-reassignment surgery to live as a woman. A light came on. "It was the tiniest entry, but I read it and reread it. Any time I found any information about some one like me, I devoured it." At 8, Tommy started taking comfort in music, learning guitar, and in high school, he discovered punk bands like Sex Pistols and The Clash. "Kids would call me faggot and beat me up. I liked that punk was about fighting back, as opposed to just taking it."

In high school, Tommy dated girls. "I was always attracted to women. It was never a sexuality issue. I just knew that if I could make a wish to change into a woman myself, I would have made it 100 times every day. It became so stressful that I'd reach these points where I'd throw all my women's clothes in a dumpster and swear, 'Never again will I do this!'" Tommy left high school early to perform with his band, Against Me!, and began a punishing tour schedule—9 or 10 months out of the year. But the music couldn't drown out the feelings, and he planted clues deep in the band's song lyrics: "If I could have chosen, I would have been born a woman / My mother once told me she would have named me Laura / I would grow up to be strong and beautiful like her."

Then Tommy met and fell in love with Heather Hannoura—an artist and band-merchandise designer (they would later marry and have a daughter)—and fully committed to living as a man. The stress of a disillusioning experience with a major record label and Heather's pregnancy sent Tommy into a tailspin of alcohol and drug abuse. "I was numb. I couldn't write; I couldn't function. The feelings were totally consuming. I couldn't live the lie anymore." Two years went by in a blur of secret research and reading blogs written by trans women. Things finally became clear. At 31, he decided to say good-bye to Tommy Gabel and live as Laura Jane Grace, thinking, I can do this. I'm going to do this.

What follows, in a Cosmopolitan exclusive, is Laura's story of her first year living as a woman.


From Cosmopolitan.com. Visit Handbags reviews and advice for best reference here

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Margaret Thatcher, Britain's First Female PM, Dead at 87

Korin Miller
Korin is the site director for Cosmopolitan.com. She loves uncovering cool new research and learning more about what makes guys tick. Outside the Cosmo office, you can find her running with her dog, trying to convince friends to go to karaoke bars, and watching as much reality TV as humanly possible. Hit her up on Twitter: @korinmiller
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Michelle Ruiz
Michelle is the news editor for Cosmopolitan.com. She's obsessed with interviewing celebrities and spotting the latest pop culture trends. Her life highlights include chatting with Ryan Gosling about sex dolls, dancing on stage at the Oprah show, and shopping with her mom on Long Island. Tweet her: @michelleruiz
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Dara Adeeyo
Dara is the associate web editor for Cosmopolitan.com. She's intrigued by all things digital. Dara loves playing with html and discovering new studies. When she's not reading up on the latest cocktail recipes (for work, of course), she can be found breaking it down on the dance floor or watching the Investigative Discovery channel. She also has a sick obsession with nail polish, elephants, and most importantly, Nutella. Dara basically lives on Twitter, so tweet at her and say hey: @dadeeyo.
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Elisa Benson
Elisa Benson is the senior editor of social media for @Cosmopolitan?so, yes, she tweets about sex for a living. Elisa grew up in Ohio, attended Colgate University, and wrote love and relationship advice for Seventeen before graduating to Cosmo. She lives for girly things (weddings and eyelash extensions and Pretty Little Liars?) and frequently tweets about all of the above: @elisabenson.
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From Cosmopolitan.com. Visit Handbags reviews and advice for best reference here

Saturday, April 6, 2013

First Vacation with Your New Boyfriend? Read This First.

"For a first time vacation, definitely choose a destination that caters to your mutual interests," says Miller. "Not every guy wants to shop and not every girl wants to go to the World Cup. But if you're both foodies or ski bunnies, there is an ideal destination for everyone." Take it from Megan, 28, who overlooked a few of her boyf’s comments before they headed to her dream locale, Paris. "When we got there, I finally realized not only was he not a big 'Europe' person, he hated all things French! It was bad."


From Cosmopolitan.com. Visit Handbags reviews and advice for best reference here