Helen and Maurice Kaye got married on Aug. 27, 1934. Now 101 and 102 years old, they reflected on 80 years of happy marriage with the BBC.
"He once bought me flowers," Helen said, laughing, "They were all dead." But instead of gifts, the couple said the most important thing they've learned is tolerance of each other.
"I give in a little, she gives in a little," Maurice said. "And we both laugh at the same things, don't we?" added Helen.
Watch the sweetest video here:
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Kelly Rutherford — aka Gossip Girl's Lily van der Woodsen — may not have attended the super-secret wedding between ultimate teen dream match Leighton Meester and Adam Brody, but she says she wouldn't have any words of wisdom for Meester anyway. "I don't really have any good marriage advice," she told Cosmopolitan.com with a laugh during the School of American Ballet's Winter Ball. "I've been married twice!"
"Everyone's relationship is so unique, and love is beautiful so I think if you're lucky enough to meet someone and fall in love, it's fantastic!” she said. “And she's such an incredible talent and such a beautiful human being. I just wish her the best."
But that doesn't mean Rutherford doesn't have any advice for the young actors on the show.
"I always say don't waste your fame," she said. "Really, the world needs us now. Gossip Girl really gave us an audience — I just think to waste that is sad. Go out there and pick something you really believe in or some group of people that need your help and go and do something with it."
Rutherford points to Pharrell Williams as inspiration. "Pharrell does it right," she said of the singer who just auctioned his giant Grammys hat for charity. "Pharrell's doing amazing things."
And the Smokey the Bear topper gets Lily's approval. "I love the hat! I think it's fun, it's comical, it's over the top but yet it's chic. It's fun! It's 'Why not? Let's use a hat to do something good!' And I just love that he's doing something great with it!"
Hear that, Blake Lively? Why not auction a small bit of your closet too for the greater good? The world can only hope.
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Check out what Carrie Underwood, Almay’s newest global brand ambassador had to tell Cosmo about her all-star beauty know-how, keeping things hot with her man, and going out with her girls.
Almay says one of the reasons they chose you to be their spokesperson is because you’re so relatable. Why do you think you’re relatable?
I think people have picked up on the fact that I'm normal. Country music is all about being relatable and singing about real-life situations. People trust me, and these products are things that I would actually use. I love the Smart Shade CC Cream and Color + Care Liquid Lip Balms.
Despite describing yourself as "normal," do you consider yourself sexy?
I mainly like to feel pretty. It really is, "what do I want to be today?" I feel like there's so much out there with fashion and hair and makeup. You can just decide, "how do I feel?"
Speaking of sexy, how do you and your husband, hockey player Mike Fisher, keep the spark going with such crazy schedules?
That's part of what makes our marriage awesome. I don't want somebody there all the time. No matter what, it would just wear on me and I'm sure I would wear on whoever I was with. I really enjoy missing him. I love our time together but I enjoy our time apart too. We definitely talk to each other every single day when we're apart, but sometimes it's just, "OK, you're home, did you have a good day?"
Do you have any exciting Valentine’s Day plans?
I've always pretty much despised Valentine’s Day to be honest, because when I was younger and in college, I never had anyone to celebrate with, I never had a boyfriend on Valentine’s Day. So I always was one of those, "I hate Valentine’s Day" kind of people. But that's actually the Olympic break for my husband so we’re going to be taking off and going on a little vacation.
And what about friends, are your friendships really important to you?
They are. I always considered myself someone who never really had that many girlfriends. l always had more guy friends in high school. Then I got to college and joined a sorority of girls that always had more guy friends, so I was with a lot of people that were like me. I have some really dynamic girlfriends which I think is really wonderful. We’re all opinionated but respectful and we talk about everything.
What do you and your friends like to do?
Occasionally we go karaoke. But we'll go to a dive karaoke place, you know, a sticky tables and fried pickles kind of place, and have fun and be stupid. We have the most random parties where no one's been drinking, but we probably all appear very intoxicated to anyone that didn't know better because we have so much fun and dance and act silly and dress silly.
What’s your favorite red carpet makeup look?
I'm definitely an eye shadow kind of girl because that's the easiest thing to play up to me, your eyes. And I love shimmery things. We like to keep things pretty on the carpet because so many of the dresses I end up picking are things that I feel pretty in. I want my makeup and my hair to match.
What do you look like when you’re off the red carpet?
I'm definitely "done." Even if I go a little more simple on my face, I definitely have mascara and eyeliner [on]. When I walk in front of a mirror, I just feel better about myself than if I just did nothing.
So, we’re never going to see you in a "stars without makeup" picture?
Actually, I have seen one of those before, but I was going to the gym! Who wears makeup to the gym? That's not even fair! I'm just going to sweat it off anyway.
You do your own makeup on tour, how come?
It's such a quiet time for me when I'm on the bus and everyone else is getting things ready for the show. I turn on the radio and just get ready. It's all about my mood. You can tell exactly how I'm feeling by what I'm listening to that day.
What’s the '90s beauty trend you most regret trying when you were younger?
I tweezed my eyebrows as so many women did, and I had no guidance. They never grew back the way they should have grown back. That's a thing I deal with on a daily basis — trying to draw my eyebrows back in from what I did in like junior high. It's not fair.
Photo Credit: Getty Images
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“You know you don’t have to marry her just because she’s pregnant?” Those were the first words I heard my future mother-in-law utter over the car speaker after Jason told her I was knocked up.
It was 2008, and we’d been dating only six months. Two months prior, we’d gotten secretly engaged in St. Martin, but I considered it more of a pillow-talk promise I could easily extract myself from if he suddenly turned out to be a sociopath, or somebody who owned a bunch of aquariums. My getting pregnant was a surprise that seemed to derail everything.
Over Christmas, I vaguely remembered taking ecstasy, letting Jason finish inside me, then washing down a morning after pill with the next day’s breakfast. I gave no thought to the notion that I could actually be pregnant. I wasn’t even sure I could get pregnant. I was 28 years old and I’d never been on birth control. Granted, I never let guys finish inside me. But it was the holidays, and I guess I was just feeling festive.
I didn’t realize my womb was inhabited until New Year’s. Jason and I were skiing with friends in Vermont when I started experiencing what I assumed were the worst menstrual cramps of my life. My boobs were swollen torpedoes of estrogen, and every couple of seconds I’d check behind me to make sure I wasn’t turning my double black diamond red. After two more days of not switching into period underwear, I grew concerned and bought pregnancy test. Like buying a Lotto ticket or a rolled up drugstore scroll with my horoscope on it, I wasn’t expecting anything except a few seconds of entertainment followed by a tinge of resentment and the desire for my money back. Sitting on the toilet in a freezing cold bathroom, wearing nothing but thermal socks and a headband, I focused intently on the plastic wand holding my destiny. Less than a minute, a smug pink smiley face looked up at me, and I crumbled into my lap hyperventilating. Jason rushed in to see if I was OK.
“Well?” he asked.
“I can’t breathe. This can’t be happening. I’m gonna faint.” I hobbled out of the bathroom and threw myself prostrate on the floor hoping to instantly miscarry.
“Wow. OK. Well, we can handle this.” Jason picked me up and put me on the bed.
“I’m too young to be a parent, Jason! I’m a mere child myself!!” I thrashed around in a full-blown tantrum.
“You’re 28. Actually, you’re 28 and a half so basically you’re 29,” he said, thinking he was comforting me. “Let’s take a beat and think this through.”
“OK … But I don’t want a baby.” I said, now cloaked in a plaid comforter I assumed made me invisible.
I spent the rest of the trip skiing like I was a stunt man in a Warren Miller film. I darted in and out of trees without braking, tried to complete an entire run on one leg, and even attempted a jump I’d researched on YouTube known as a “Screamin’ Semen.” There wasn’t any point in holding back. As far as I was concerned, my life was over. Not only was I knocked up, I was only five months away from being 29, which was only 12 months away from being 30, which was basically dead. I figured I should at least die doing something interesting enough for Jason to talk about at dinner parties.
Three days later, I was still alive and Jason’s screamin’ semen was still burrowed inside me. We’d spent the last 72 hours — the same window I was supposed to be guaranteed by my bunk morning after pill — legitimately weighing our options. My initial instinct was to have an abortion. Most of my girlfriends had survived them without complications or remorse. It was, after all, the 21st century. I was an independent woman living in a country that for the moment still granted me the freedom to make my own choices with my body. The only thing holding me back was Jason. He wasn’t some random dude I’d rear-ended while pulling out of the Rite Aid parking lot. Sure, I’d slept with that guy, but I obviously wouldn’t have thought twice about not having his baby. Jason was different. I was in love with him. In my mind, having an abortion meant running the risk of ruining our relationship. I didn’t want to look back and feel resentment toward him for allowing me to destroy something that was a part of us, or vice versa. The more we talked, the more we realized we had to have the baby. Despite the timing being a little off, I wanted children eventually, and who better to do it with than the person I was already secretly engaged to?
Eventually, Jason’s mom came to terms with the fact that her son was going to have a child and probably marry someone that wasn’t her. My family, also initially concerned, warmed up to the idea once they realized Jason was rich.
We spent the next three months preparing for parenthood by moving in together, getting into couples’ therapy, and buying an SUV. The circumstances didn't allow us time to play games. We had to abandon our egos and just be vulnerable. We opened up about our own childhoods and forged pacts about the things we wanted to do differently. We read books and attended classes. We even borrowed a friend's kid one night for a trial run. But as my hormone levels continued to rise, so did my paranoia. Sometimes I’d look over in bed and imagine every worse case scenario. What if he was a serial killer? What if he was a child molester? What if he was somebody who goes to Burning Man?
“Let me out of the car! I don’t even know you! You’ve completely hijacked my life! I want my life back!” I screamed on our way to a routine doctor’s visit.
Set off by the fact that Jason’s flesh reeked of matzo brie, I tried to jump from the car.
“Sit down! Jenny, sit the fuck down now!” he said, trying to hold me in place by the hood of my sweatshirt.
Unlike most couples, we were having our first fight with the realization that we were to be tethered to each other for all of eternity. Something bigger than us was already in motion. We were having a child, and there was no backing out.
At the doctor’s office that day, we were given some shocking news. Our fetus was over us. He had deemed us unfit parents. His heart rate had slowed, and it was merely going to be a matter of time before I miscarried. The fear and anxiety, even the weird smell of Jason’s flesh, all of it faded to the background as we locked bodies and started crying. Everything that had been moving so fast suddenly came to a grinding halt. The only thing remaining was my intense love for Jason. The events bonded us in such a way that I knew we were meant to be forever. Less than a month later, we eloped.
People assumed we’d try to get pregnant again right away, but we didn’t. In fact, we waited over five years. We wanted to give our relationship time to grow and blossom. We also secretly wanted a few more years of feeling young, skinny, and like we could do ecstasy without accidentally murdering anyone.
I don’t know that I woke up one day and suddenly knew it was the right time to try again. In fact, I probably could have gone another five years had Jason not informed me that I was now 34 and a half, which was basically 35, which was basically 40.
Getting pregnant this time around wasn’t nearly as easy, partially because figuring out when you’re ovulating requires an understanding of second-grade math, and partially because the universe never cooperates when you try to control it. I spent a solid year casually fucking around with thermometers and period-tracking apps for my iPhone, when finally my sister insisted I try using a digital ovulation stick. Three months of dragging my heels and getting waylaid by online sample sales later, I bought one. Twenty-eight days after that, I was pregnant. Once again, I crumbled into my lap hyperventilating, but this time it was with excitement. I didn’t particularly feel any more prepared, any less afraid, or any more certain Jason wouldn’t eventually attend Burning Man. The only thing I knew with confidence was that I was ready to have my life hijacked. Which is all to say, we’re keeping it.
Jenny Mollen is the author of the upcoming book I Like You Just the Way I Am: Stories About Me and Some Other People. Follow her on Twitter.
Photo Credit: Instagram
Eons ago, before the Kimye Enlightenment and before Nick Cannon became Mariah Carey's official Sex and Love Butler, there was the Age of Cannondashian. Most homo sapiens alive in this era have perished, but left relics of Kim Kardashian and Nick Cannon's relationship depicted in crude drawings on the walls of caves all over the nation. These have been carefully preserved, as our only link to a time long gone, from which we can learn from and atone for in alternate measures.
One such item has been uncovered by Life & Style, which sheds some light on what we already knew: The two dated after meeting in September of 2006, when they were both 25, but ultimately broke up after she lied to him about the existence of the Ray-J sex tape. But is that actually why? Or is it because Cannon asked her if she'd be down to marry him but let him stick his one-eyed friction whistle all up into everybody in the Ten Mile Zone until death do them part?
According to a source: “He told her that if she married him, he’d build her the biggest mansion in Bel Air, they’d make beautiful babies and she’d have all the money that she could ever need... But while Kim was expected to be monogamous, Nick told her he wouldn’t be.”
Wow. First of all, it's not like Kim was selling matchbooks on the side of the road — she already had velour sweatsuits worth more than my grandma's life insurance policy. (And believe me, I've checked). Second of all... come on, Nick. You were still just the twerpy kid from Drumline.
Mariah would NOT stand for that bullshit. Right now Nick is meticulously gluing Swarovski diamonds onto her newest cast as she watches TRL and soaks in a tub full of rose petals and San Pellegrino.
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In our post-recession world, things are pretty awesome. Wait, I mean terrible. Unemployment is still high, we're all living with our parents, and we have a butt-load of student loan debt to pay.
But now the current economic climate is effing with people's ability to form long-term relationships, to the point that many people have stopped getting married.
Researchers at the University of Virginia and Harvard University have found that working-class Americans are less likely to get married, stay married, and have their children while married than those who have college degrees.
Basically, having an unstable financial situation, the study found, makes people feel like they can't commit fully to marriage and that they are less able to trust a long-term partner. However, those who are college-educated are more resilient to these challenges and tend to be more able to commit to getting married and having a family.
While marriage isn't a must for many people—and still isn't even an option for some—it's sad to know that someone's financial situation can really take a toll on his or her desire and ability to form that kind of commitment to another person.
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Scientists from the University of Cincinnati surveyed 5,305 people and discovered that marriage makes men drink less and women drink more. Huh?
During the study, researchers found that, on average, men drink more than women, whether they're married, single, divorced, or widowed. But married men drink less, probably due to the influence of their wives.
On the flip side, wives drank the most out of all women—single, divorced, or widowed—likely due to their husbands' influence. Divorced women drank the least out of all the groups.
So…what does this mean for you? If you're living with your guy or hitched, don't feel pressure to have that second glass of wine over dinner with your man if you're not really feeling it.
Or, if you're concerned that you both might be indulging too much, try to suggest some cool things for you to do that are sober activities, like going star-gazing on a gorgeous night or hitting up a coffee shop on Sunday instead of doing a boozy brunch. Your liver will thank you.
The whole “baby before marriage” thing looks like it worked out for most of these celebs, but they also have loads of disposable income to spend on nannies, diapers, etc., which, let’s be honest: most regular people don’t have.
Naturally, we wondered what you thought about going this route, so we conducted an online poll. The verdict? A whopping 70 percent of you think you should get married before you have a baby. A lot of celebs have been engaged when they got pregnant or got engaged soon after, but 59 percent of you said having a diamond ring on your finger still isn't a good enough reason to have a baby before taking a trip down the aisle.
The main reason: Most of you said you’d be worried the relationship wouldn’t work out and you’d have to raise the little one on your own. And a few said you’re just a more traditional girl at heart when it comes to starting a family.
As for those of you who said you didn’t need a wedding band before getting pregnant, the top reason was that you wouldn’t want to rush into marriage if you weren’t sure he was The One.
Photo: Jon Kopaloff/FilmMagic
