Last year, 28-year-old Meryem Ali of Houston, Texas, discovered that someone had created an imposter Facebook profile under her name. And it got worse: The profile included pornographic images with her face realistically photoshopped onto the nude bodies — and whoever created the page was sending friend requests to her family members.
Ali reported it to Facebook. She even went so far as calling the company's advertising department — the only relevant phone number she could find — to ask for help. She didn't get any. It was only after local police contacted Facebook that the photos where taken down — four and a half months after she first filed a complaint.
The profile was traced back to the home of a guy she had hung out with a total of three times. They had only exchanged so much as a kiss on the cheek. That's all it took for her to become yet another victim of "revenge porn."
Now Ali is suing Facebook for $123 million — 10 cents for each of its 1.23 billion users who could've seen the images. In her first print interview, Ali spoke with Cosmopolitan.com about becoming a victim of "revenge porn," struggling to tell her religious parents about the explicit photos, and how she hopes her high-profile lawsuit will prevent this from happening to other women.
How did you first find out about this page?
I was shopping for my niece's first birthday and I saw a text message from my cousin. He said, "Go look at your Facebook right now," and I was like, "What are you talking about? I've been off Facebook for months." He said, "There's a really nasty photo and it has your face on there." I was like, "Can you please send me the photo? I really want to see the photo." And he was like, "It's so terrible, I can't do that."
I went home and I looked it up. I saw the pictures. Of course I was really upset, I was really nervous, I was wondering who could do this to me and how this was even happening.
What were the pictures exactly?
Pornography is probably the best description of what I saw.
But it had your face photoshopped onto the images?
Correct.
What was your reaction when you saw this?
I was crying. I was saying, "Oh my gosh, what will my parents think? I should really tell them." At that point, I told both of my sisters — they knew what was going on — because I couldn't tell my parents at that time. I was too nervous.
Every day that this page was up, when my phone would go off with a text or a call, I would be so scared. I figured that my phone was ringing because someone else had found that page. I felt like everyone saw it. I would only leave my house to go get food, which is essential to live.
One day, I was grocery shopping with my mom and I received a text message from a friend who I hadn't talked to in four years or so. He goes, "You have a fake profile up." My heart dropped. I'm in the middle of the grocery store, my mom doesn't know what's going on, and this guy I have not heard from in years is messaging me. At this point I'm thinking, "Did this person steal my entire identity? Who else has it reached?" I was devastated. I was so upset.
You were worried that your parents would be upset by the photos even though they were photoshopped?
Absolutely. Because of our culture and religion. ?I'm a Muslim and the religion I follow is Islam. There are obviously Muslims who are more liberal, but my parents are on the conservative side. I don't cover my head; I do not wear hijab. I'm American-born and raised, but I still have my parents' values and religion. I just don't do stuff like that. It's not permissible in our culture and religion. Even though it's not me, it's just too upsetting to them that anyone would even do that to their daughter or think of their daughter in that way.
I still have not shown my parents the photos and they have not requested to see them. Because once I said "naked pictures," they told me they didn't sleep for days. I knew right then and there that they don't even want to see the photos. Even my family and friends that have come across the images, they couldn't look at all the photos. They were too disgusted.
What did it take to tell your parents?
Oh gosh. It took my lawyer several meetings to convince me that I needed to tell my father. My mom didn't know until right before the lawsuit was going out. My sisters knew all along. Honestly, I thought it was going to disappear, and mom and dad were never going to find out.
What were the steps you took to get the photos taken down?
I reported it several times to Facebook. Family reported it. Friends. I had some friends message the profile and say, "Why are you doing this to Meryem?" But they didn't get a response. I went to the Houston Police Department and then I had to make a report. I contacted the FBI. I wrote an email to the White House. I was desperate to get this down. Nothing happened, I had to get an attorney involved. I thought it was just gonna come down and I was gonna live my life and it was gonna be water under the bridge. But that wasn't the case.
So you reported it to Facebook but didn't hear back?
No. And? the only phone number I could find for Facebook was for the advertising department. They were very happy to help ... with advertising. They're very happy to take your money! I was like, "How come you guys have a quick response to advertising and not when there's a crime going on?"
Did you have an idea of who had done this?
Honestly, no. I had no idea. For the things that were happening on this Facebook page, you would think that I did something terrible to someone. I thought about it, "I haven't had a fight with anyone, I haven't had a recent argument with anyone." Even until today, I don't understand.
Your complaint alleges that you eventually found out Adeel Shah Khan [a former friend and romantic interest] created the page. How did you feel when you found out?
I think the question is "How did I feel until I got that answer?" Mental suffering is one way to put it. I was suffering until then. Even now, I'm still suffering because there is no justice as of now. It was a little calming.
How did you first meet Khan?
I met him through a mutual friend at a yearly religious conference for the Islamic Society of North America in Chicago. We became friends. We talked on the phone a lot. I went back to Chicago with a friend a few months later.
Did it ever get physical?
No, just the typical guy likes girl, girl likes guy. Nothing beyond that. I don't even remember, maybe there was a kiss on the cheek? It was so long ago. It was four or five months before I went back a third time to visit.
How did that visit go?
He picked me up at the airport. We went to eat and he was messaged by his ex-girlfriend. He was very much not into our conversation. After we left, we went shopping across the street, and I remember looking back at him and he was, like, 10 feet behind me because he was so busy texting the ex-girlfriend! I remember thinking, Is this guy serious?
He continued to text her for 30 minutes or so. I remember thinking, Wow, can't wait to get on that plane.
How did you end the relationship?
By phone. He agreed right away. I did receive phone calls, a lot of phone calls after that, though. They were real casual, like nothing happened.
Why do you think that he did this?
I have the same question.
Why did you decide to sue Facebook?
What happened to me isn't justified. I don't understand — they take that long after multiple people reported a situation. How many people does it take? Why is it not taken down? Why is cyber bullying allowed on Facebook?
What do you feel would be an adequate response on Facebook's part in a situation like this?
The photos should come down immediately.
Now that the photos have been taken down, how do you feel?
It is better, but every night when I go to sleep I'm like, I hope I get justice, not just for myself but for future users. I just want justice for what happened.
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