Showing posts with label about. Show all posts
Showing posts with label about. Show all posts

Monday, September 1, 2014

About That Time Blake Lively Was Attacked By a Swarm of Bees

Since launching her kitschy e-commerce site Preserve last month, Blake Lively has come under all sorts of bitchy criticism. British newspaper The Guardian labeled it a "pandering mess," while Lucky magazine thought the packaging was poor quality. Entertainment Weekly was confused, The Wire was confused, men were confused, period, said Jezebel. Even Martha Stewart said the site kinda sucked — not that Martha would ever use the word "suck" in public, unless in the context of complimenting someone's seersucker pants — and that has to hurt. But perhaps the most stinging criticism came from a rampaging swarm of bees, which recently attacked Blake during a photoshoot she was doing for the site. STINGING, get it!?!?!

Blake recounted the incident in a new essay for Preserve, which also discusses her birthday and makes all sorts of clever metaphors between bee stings and aging. It's titled "Happy Bee Day," get it!?!?!

Just yesterday, the final day of the shoot, I felt an electric shock of energy-- was it excitement that I was about to turn another year older? Was it nerves? Why did it feel like agony? I like getting older... I think. But this felt terrible. Does your butt quite suddenly (and painfully) deflate when you turn 27? Because mine hurt like hell …then my neck, back, legs and forehead. And oh my hands! They were shriveling. It felt like I was being shot by dozens of tiny invisible darts. I felt like the Wicked Witch, melting, melting, burning, melting.

As it happens, I wasn't being greeted by the onset of spontaneous aging, but rather a full-fledged bee day. Attacked. All over. Everywhere... I was a Monty Python sketch; running at top speed in no particular direction, whipping my arms and hands around like I'd just discovered they were growing out of my shoulders without my previous knowledge.

Blake then details her recovery, which involved throwing herself a twee, childish birthday party. (Where's Ryan Reynolds to do this for her?!) The shindig involved vanilla cake, fudge sundaes, and votive candles — many of which are, COINCIDENTALLY, items for sale at preserve.us. In other words, just when you thought Blake was indulging in a wistful creative writing project, it turns out she's trying to hock her merch. The cheek of it!

Follow Alex on Twitter.

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Sunday, August 31, 2014

You Don't Know "D*ck Sh*t" About Kristen Stewart, OK?

"I don't want to add to this already pre-existing, enormous mound of salacious bullshit that isn't real," says Kristen Stewart, as she gives an interview to the French edition of Vanity Fair that is sure to do just that. Oh well. It's a tabloid-centric "soap opera," she continues, "a varied assortment of whatever flavors [regular people] have picked up at the newsstand or in the theater or on the Internet."

But like so many other A-listers claim, Kristen doesn't read the news, nor is she bothered by it. (This is such a common celebrity misnomer; of course they all have multiple Google alerts synced to their assistants' cell phones.) "I try not to let it mess with me," she says — and this is where she hits peak K-Stew, noting that, "because my true personal life, as much as people think they know about it, they don't know dick shit." Dick shit! Make this your new favorite salty swear word, please. Anyway, then Kristen has a big ol' angry existential rant about people's "true" personal lives:

"By the way nobody knows. Nobody knows what the fuck is going on. You're going to die. You're going to lay next to the people that you know the most in life, the people that you're going to grow old with. But you're going to lay next to them in the middle of the night deeply curious about them and who they are, because nobody fucking knows anything."

And this is where she's contributing to that "mound of salacious bullshit" after all, don't you know, because how can you not read this and think about RPattz?! Also, how can you read this and not feel like Kristen needs a hug or a cookie? I'll bake a batch for you, K-Stew, or maybe we could just keep it casual and eat the dough. <3 <3

Follow Alex on Twitter.


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Wednesday, August 27, 2014

5 Things You Absolutely Must Know About Shopping for Fall

Cosmopolitan.com's style editor Charles Manning answers your most pressing questions about dressing for fall.

I hate shopping for fall clothes when it is hot out! What do I need to buy now, and what can I wait to buy later?
A good coat. Kidding! God, how boring! Don't get me wrong, coats are great and all, but if you have yet to see a coat that makes your heart race, don't force it. In fact, forget need. What do you want? What is the one item you can't imagine spending another fall without? Leather pants? Over-the-knee boots? A major piece of jewelry? A colorful faux fur? Whatever that one item is, that's what you should get, and you should feel free to splurge on it now while stock is still plentiful. Leave all that need stuff for when you actually need it.

Turtleneck Sweater, WILFRED FREE (available at Aritzia), $165; Suede Thigh-High Boot, STUART WEITZMAN, $795;Leather Pant, REBECCA MINKOFF, $698; Multi-Colored Faux Fur Coat, MABEL (available at Shrimps), $987; Amulet Neckpiece, MANIAMANIA, $290

When is it OK to start wearing boots again?
Boots are never wrong. Never. They may have been cold-weather-only 10 years ago, but at this point, they are pretty much seasonless, especially short little ankle booties. So cute! And way too cool and outfit-transforming to be limited to two measly seasons.

Snake-Embossed Cutout Booties, MM6 MAISON MARTIN MARGIELA (Available at Shopbop), $595; Textured Cutout Booties, CIRCUS SAM EDELMAN (Available at Lord and Taylor), $100; Brown Cutout Booties, TOPSHOP, $130; High Heeled Booties, ZARA, $80; Two-Tone Cutout Booties, TIBI (Available at Saks Fifth Avenue), $535

I hate all my old fall clothes, but I can't afford new ones. How can I get myself out of this fashion rut without going shopping?
This is going to sound totally cheesy, but why not organize a clothing swap with your friends? Here's how:
1. Invite a group of friends over to your house — ideally, people whose clothes you like and who are around your same size.
2. Give each person a specific list of items to bring, such as a jacket, a skirt, a dress, a necklace, and a top.
3. Establish guidelines like nothing stained, nothing from one of the following stores, nothing ripped, etc.
4. As people arrive, take their clothes into a separate room and divide them into piles — jackets in one pile, dresses in another, etc.
5. Drinks!
6. Now load the first pile into a laundry bag and let each person pull one item out of the sack. Then put the second pile into the laundry bag and pass it around. Then the third pile and so on until everyone in the group has one piece from each pile.
7. Now, swap! You may not end up loving everything you get, but you'll have fun drinking and hanging out with your friends and you'll probably come away with at least one or two good things to liven up your wardrobe.

Q: Can I really not wear white after Labor Day? What about winter white? What is winter white anyway?
A:
White is seasonless. White pants, white shoes, white dresses. Whatever. If you like it, wear it. Only some ancient grandma or total nerd with no style whatsoever will tell you you're doing something wrong. Winter white is more of a creamy off-white, which is fine, if you're into that, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with wearing pure, gleaming, glowing, bright white before, on, or after Labor Day.

White Joggers, WILFRED FREE (Available at Aritzia), $95; Open-Toe Booties, GUESS, $120; Cape Blazer, NASTY GAL, $68; Fitted Dress, REISS, $340; Relaxed Button-Up, COMMUNITY (Available at Aritzia), $85

Q: I don't want summer to end! How can I keep wearing my summer clothes into the fall?
A:
Layer, layer, layer — shorts over tights, a tank top under a quilted jacket, a chiffon dress with a heavy wool coat, a miniskirt with an oversize sweater, etc. Use these handy guides to help you figure out what colors and prints go best together and then wear those summer clothes of yours till it's 40 below.

Do you have fashion or style questions? Tweet them to our style editor @charlesemanning.

Follow Charles on Twitter and Instagram.


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Tuesday, August 26, 2014

This Model's Stunning Video Will Change How You Feel About Your Body Forever

Melanie Gaydos has a genetic disorder called ectodermal dysplasia, which affects her pores, hair, teeth, and fingernails. She's also a high fashion model.

"When I go on a photo shoot, the other industry models don't know what to make of me," she says in an emotional new video for The What's Underneath Project. "They're usually like, 'What the fuck is this?' It's difficult for me in the fashion world; people think I'm a gimmick and that I'm just being exploited for my differences."

The What's Underneath Project interviews people about how they feel judged for their bodies as they gradually undress and show their bodies as they really are. By the end of her beautifully told story, Gaydos is in her underwear.

"I have thought how I would be if I was born without a cleft palate and with a full head of hair, and I think I would be really boring," she says. "Even though I've been through a lot, they're my experiences, and I like where everything has brought me today."

Watch her stunning video below:

Follow Emma on Twitter.


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Thursday, March 6, 2014

8 Mind-Bogglingly Dumb Things Actually Said About Gay People

People — public people who actually have other people pay attention to them — say a lot of dumb shit, a lot of the time. Below is a small sampling of ridiculous things said about gay people, and rather than just retorting, “what you just said… that was some dumb shit,” we’ve strengthened our response in the form of GIFs from our favorite show about politics: Parks and Rec. You are all welcome. ..|.. ^__^ ..|..

1. “If the California Supreme Court had allowed the gays to marry, then anybody could have gotten married. You could have married a duck.”
-Bill O’Reilly, The O’Reilly Factor

I have had, like, the biggest crush on this duck in fifth grade and this is SUCH good news. It’s so rare to get laws passed for duck marriage equality in this day and age. For real, though: Drawing a comparison between humans loving other humans and humans wanting to put their penis in a duck is a LITTLE BIT OF A STRETCH NO PUN INTENDED SORRY.

Also that guy from Duck Dynasty is going to be so mad.

2. Homosexuality is “…one man violently cramming his penis into another man’s lower intestine and calling it ‘love.’”
– Matt Barber, Liberty Counsel

You’re right, Matt. Cramming your penis into a woman’s cervix is a much better definition for love.

3. “[Gay marriage] will put more kids at risk for HIV, hepatitis A, B and C, ‘gay bowel syndrome,’ human papillomavirus (HPV), syphilis, gonorrhea and other sexually transmitted diseases.”
– Robert Knight, draftsman of federal Defense of Marriage Act

Bodily fluids are bodily fluids. Risk in all of them, gay or otherwise, and it’s a well-known fact that kids just love bodily fluids. PS: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS GAY BOWEL SYNDROME, YOU WEIRDO.

4. “In history, there has never been a civilization that has embraced homosexuality and has turned away from traditional fidelity, traditional marriage, and traditional child-rearing and has survived.”
- Pat Robertson, (WTF does Pat Robertson do, tho)

*Entire country of Greece waves hello*

5. "If gays are granted rights, next we'll have to give rights to prostitutes and to people who sleep with St. Bernards and to nail biters."
- Anita Bryant, Singer

 

Well, we actually think that human beings, as a general rule, deserve rights, but like, you’re right on one count: We will lose our shit if people who bite their nails start to get rights.

6. "I don't believe that you can BE gay."
- Kevin McCullough, The Kevin McCullough Show

 

So the issue here, Kevin, isn’t the homosexuality itself, but rather the verb usage that goes with existence?

“Hi, I’m gay.”

“Impossible.”

“Okay, I exist and I am also gay.”

“Ohhhhhh.”

7. Allow gays to openly serve “if you want a military that just does parades.”
- Tony Perkins, Family Research Council

You know, he’s right. Don’t Ask Don’t Tell was repealed years ago, and where the F*CK have our extra parades been?!

8. “Is anyone saying same-sex couples can’t love each other? I love my children. I love my friends, my brother. Heck, I even love my mother-in-law. Should we call these relationships marriage, too?”
- Rick Santorum, Former US Senator

RICK SANTORUM WANTS TO MARRY HIS MOTHER-IN-LAW, THAT’S WHAT HE SAID. 

Kristin Russo lives in New York City and holds a master's degree in gender studies. Dannielle Owens-Reid lives in Los Angeles where she rehearses stand-up comedy in front of her cat. Together they run the website everyoneisgay.com. Do you have questions or topic requests for Kristin and Dannielle? Ask them HERE.

Photo Credit: NBC


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The Truth About The HPV Vaccine

From the time she was 17, Michele Prigo never missed a Pap smear. She knew the annual check could catch signs of cervical cancer, yet year after year, she was only vaguely mindful of the involvement of a sexually transmitted virus. The sex-ed she got in the 1990s was mostly a lecture trying to frighten the libido out of her, with an onscreen horror show of sore-covered genitalia. She admits she didn't always insist her boyfriends use condoms. Why would she? None of them reminded her of the scary sex-ed pictures. "They all looked perfectly healthy," she says.

When the first cervical-cancer vaccine entered the market seven years ago, Prigo was just over the age limit of 26. But even if she had been younger, she says she probably wouldn't have gotten the shot. "No one I knew ever had any STDs. It didn't fit into the model of where I was at and the crowd I was running with," says Prigo, who is now 38 and lives in New York City. When she reached her early 30s, her Paps were still popping up normal. But her doctor ran a screen for human papillomavirus (HPV), the virus that causes cervical cancer. Lo and behold, there it was.

Chances are, Prigo picked up HPV pretty soon after she started having sex. It's so common that the vast majority of the population will be infected during their lives. Most of the dozens of strains do nothing, quietly retreating and vanishing on their own. But a few of them work their way into normal tissue, eventually turning healthy cells into cancer. Prigo tested positive for a high-risk strain.

When she thinks about the day doctors burned off part of her cervix — she recalls "smoke and the ever so slight smell of burning flesh" — Prigo is dumbfounded to explain why she didn't embrace the HPV vaccine earlier and why so many women and girls continue to avoid it. Approved in 2006, the shot was initially hailed as a victory against a major killer of women worldwide. "If that's not a break through, I don't know what is," one jubilant doctor told ABC news at the time.

About 40 strains of genital HPV circulate in the human population, but of those, just two (6 and 11) are responsible for about 90 percent of genital warts and two more (16 and 18) for 70 percent of cervical cancers and many cases of vaginal, anal, and throat cancer. Those four strains are the target of Gardasil, which is made by Merck. A second vaccine from GlaxoSmithKline, Cervarix, targets 16 and 18.

Together, these shots should have essentially freed the current generation of young women from the threat of HPV-associated cancers and genital warts. But this isn't the case. Only about 54 percent of teenage girls are receiving even one dose, which gives you partial protection, and a mere one-third get the three shots necessary for full effectiveness. Public-health experts use terms like extremely distressing and depressing to describe the numbers. Cervical cancer still strikes more than 10,000 women in the United States each year. And earlier this year, a government report found that while cancer mortality rates overall are declining, deaths from some HPV-driven tumors are ticking upward.

"I am very surprised that a safe, effective, anticancer vaccine is doing this poorly," says Anne Schuchat, MD, assistant surgeon general, U.S. Public Health Service. "I certainly hoped that by 2013, women in their 20s would have already gotten the vaccine."

So why aren't people clamoring for an anticancer shot? Because somewhere on the road to disease prevention, the HPV vaccine came to embody everything that's wrong with America, at least in some circles — premarital promiscuity, Big Pharma greed, and government control. "The vaccine acquired this kind of identity as an STD shot for young girls," says Dan Kahan, a professor of law and psychology at Yale Law School. Meanwhile, unfounded rumors about the shot's safety and effectiveness have spread. Not the lifesaving image developers envisioned.

The HPV vaccine isn't the first shot against a sexually transmitted cancer. Immunization for hepatitis B, which can cause liver cancer, has been around since 1981 without much controversy. Nearly 90 percent of children are protected from the virus, mostly because the shot is included in the routine round of infant vaccines. The HPV vaccine is at a disadvantage because the immunization rates for adolescents always lag behind those for toddlers. But consider a vaccine that appeared about the same time as Gardasil: A shot given to middle schoolers that protects against meningococcal meningitis. The latest figures indicate that about 74 percent of teenagers who should be getting the shot are, in fact, immunized.

Deadly meningococcal bacteria can be spread through kissing, but no one objects to the meningitis vaccine on the grounds that it will suddenly inspire teenagers to start making out. Yet this is exactly what happened to HPV — it got a brand of prosex, not anticancer.

When it introduced Gardasil, Kahan explains, Merck pushed the government for a fast-track approval for girls only, not wanting to wait on data for both sexes (today, young men and boys can also get it). Given pervasive double standards when it comes to sex — it's fine for boys, never okay for girls — having a girls-only STI shot may have helped turn it into a divisive symbol in the culture wars. The abstinence movement had already been highlighting the threat of HPV as a reason to avoid sex. In 2005, the Abstinence Clearinghouse posted on its website, "Premarital sex is dangerous, even deadly. Let's not encourage it by vaccinating 10-year-olds so they think they're safe." Years later, surveys find that parent concerns about promiscuity continue to be one of the big reasons for refusing the vaccine. A study published in the journal Pediatrics deemed these fears unfounded — that sexual activity does not differ between vaccinated and unvaccinated teenagers.

Even if parents don't believe the HPV vaccine is a license for rampant sex, its image as an STI shot still hurts, says Annie-Laurie McRee, of Ohio State University's College of Public Health. When kids are young, parents simply don't perceive a risk. "There's just this feeling that we can wait," McRee says. Then they just never get around to it.

Pediatricians have also been wary. Fewer than one-half said they recommended vaccinating their youngest adolescent patients (when the shot is recommended), according to a study in Pediatrics. "It makes health-care providers uncomfortable," says Gregory Zimet, PhD, of Indiana University School of Medicine. "They feel like they have to discuss it in detail with parents in a way that's quite different than the way they discuss other vaccines."

Merck made one more misstep during its rollout. It launched an intensive lobbying effort with state governments to make the vaccine required for public school. The company tried to win over influential conservatives, choosing as its standard bearer Governor Rick Perry, of Texas. He declared the vaccine mandatory in 2007 by executive order — triggering outcry from critics who pointed out that his former chief of staff was a lobbyist for Merck. Instead of embracing the vaccine, public sentiment soured, distrustful of a government mandate on a product that was fast becoming an emblem of premarital sex. The state legislature overturned Perry's order just two months after it was issued, and Merck suspended its statehouse campaigns because the cancer-prevention aspect of HPV became overshadowed by debate about the company's profit motives.

Suspicions have dogged the vaccine ever since. The list of rumored dangers is seemingly endless: risk of autoimmune disease, seizures, blood clots, even mental retardation. (That last one courtesy of Representative Michele Bachmann, describing an encounter with a random mom who was never identified.) In a controversial show a few months ago, Katie Couric interviewed a mom who believes her daughter died because of the Gardasil shot, as well as Diane Harper, MD, an HPV researcher at the University of Louisville who claims its protection lasts only five years.

It's hard to read about the HPV vaccine without coming across web posts about Dr. Harper, who, while a researcher at Dartmouth Medical School, was involved in the key clinical trials of both Gardasil and Cervarix. (She's not the developer, as a periodically churned blog post claims.) "Initially, I was incredibly excited that this was going to wipe out a disease," she says. Her enthusiasm dampened as she began to question whether the vaccine would offer protection that would last long enough to prevent an infection that comes and goes over a lifetime and leads to cancer in only a small fraction of cases. Today, she encourages women to get regular Pap tests, look at the data, talk to a doctor, and make an educated decision. (According to CDC officials, there's no evidence to support Dr. Harper's claims that the vaccine's protection wears off.)

Here's the central point: So far, doctors have administered more than 50 million doses of the HPV vaccine, and no serious side effects have been found. Health crises, including sudden, unexplained deaths, do happen in the general population — even to seemingly healthy teens, usually from preexisting risks that were not known. When these medical tragedies occur just after an immunization, even by chance, the shot becomes the culprit. A Facebook-ready anecdote is born.

Safety studies look for patterns of symptoms beyond what you would expect from random occurrence. And so far, nothing has turned up on the radar. The largest study so far — published in October in the British Medical Journal— found absolutely no risk of serious side effects.

Can the beleaguered vaccine be rescued? Public-health experts are trying, primarily by reaching out to doctors through health departments, professional associations, and word of mouth. Pediatrician Tom Petrusick, MD, of Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, is urging his colleagues to take discussions more seriously. "If you're giving vaccines to prevent diseases we have vaccines for, why not use this one? We're about prevention. That's pediatrics," he says. Indiana University's Zimet says there are efforts to ensure that patients who get the first shot also get the next two.

It may also help that the Affordable Care Act requires the coverage of preventive care and publicly funded vaccine programs, so fewer women may be priced out of the shot — women like Ashley Altman of Savannah, Georgia, who was offered the vaccine in 2008 when she was 24. "There was no way I could come up with that kind of money," she says. A year later, she was diagnosed with a potentially invasive form of cervical cancer.

By the time she was offered the vaccine, Altman was already having sex and already a mother. Since the immunization won't affect the virus after the fact, she didn't know it would do her any good even if she could afford it. Dr. Schuchat says the CDC advises young women to get immunized even if they could've been exposed to HPV, because they may not have picked up one of the cancer-causing strains yet. However, "the value of getting it decreases with age and with the chance of exposure." Age 26 is the cutoff, because by then, there's a high likelihood of infection.

As Altman's cancer continues to advance, she faces a hysterectomy to remove her cervix. The choice may be easier because she's already had children — including an 11-year-old boy who just got his first HPV shot. "It's not a risk that I want to take with my son," she says. "Who's to say one day when he gets married — if he were to have HPV — he would not then give it to his wife? I don't want somebody else to go through the same thing."

What You Need To Know About HPV and Sex

Q: If I get it, will I have it forever?
A:
"While most people clear HPV infections within a year or two, we don't know if that means the virus is completely gone or if it's just dormant," says Jeffrey Klausner, MD, of UCLA. "Still, having HPV is much less likely to hurt you if you get regular cancer screenings."

Q. Can I know who gave it to me?
A. "There's no HPV test for men, and when a woman tests positive, we don't know if she got it a month ago or two years ago, so determining who gave it to you is pointless," says Dr. Klausner. All guys should get the HPV shot.

Q. Are fever blisters on the mouth HPV?
A. No. Fever blisters are caused by the herpes virus and have no relation to HPV.

Q. What about warts?
A. Of the 79 million Americans with HPV, only 1 percent have visible genital warts, according to the CDC. If you are one of the unlucky few, they are treatable with medication or surgical removal.

Q. What are my odds of getting cervical cancer?
A. Really low once you know you have HPV. Thanks to regular Pap testing, cervical cancer has gone down more than 50 percent in 30 years. "The vast majority of pre can cers can be caught and treated before they turn into invasive cancer," says Christina Chu, MD, associate professor of obstetrics and gynecology at the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania.

Q. Will HPV make it harder to get pregnant?
A. No, but procedures that remove infected tissue from your cervix, like LEEP and cone biopsies, may increase your risk for preterm births. That's why you should discuss the risks with your doctor before these procedures.

Q: So, can I still have sex?
A:
Sure! (Unless you have an outbreak of genital warts, which is rare but makes you extra contagious.) "Most everyone will get HPV," says Dr. Chu. "Our concern is that it not turn into cancer."

Q: Can a virgin have HPV?
A:
Yes, says Dr. Chu. "HPV is transmitted through intercourse but also through skin-to-skin contact from intimate touching, rubbing, and even sex toys."

Q: Do condoms protect me?
A:
Because HPV is spread through skin-to-skin contact, condoms don't provide 100 percent protection, but they do drastically lower your risk.

Q: Does having HPV make other STIs more likely?
A:
The cell changes caused by HPV that break down tissue in the vagina and cervix could make you more vulnerable to HIV.

Q: Will having only anal sex help me avoid HPV?
A:
Nope. "Virtually all STIs can be transmitted during vaginal, oral, and anal sex," says Dr. Klausner. "But because the same strains of HPV can cause cervical, oral, and anal cancer, the vaccine helps protect you from all of them."

Q: Can I make oral safer?
A:
Being a nonsmoker and practicing good mouth hygiene lower the risk of getting HPV from oral sex, a study in Cancer Prevention Research shows.

Q: Do I have to tell my guy?
A:
Your call. Docs say it wouldn't make a difference for his health — he can't get tested for HPV or screened for HPV-related mouth and penile cancers. But he can spread HPV, so use condoms.

Additional reporting by Kelly Mickle

Photo credit: Getty/Gallerystock

Related Stories:
>> The Complete Idiot's Guide to Women's Health
>> HPV 101: 11 Facts You Need To Know


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Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Here's How Jennifer Lawrence Is Maybe About to Make History

If Jennifer Lawrence wins the Oscar for her turn as a fast-talking, hilarious strumpet in American Hustle, it'll make her only the sixth person in history, and the first since Tom Hanks, to win the coveted statue in consecutive years. Very cool.

However, it appears Lawrence is doing everything you she can to not win that title. She's done no press and skipped important luncheons, and has even said she doesn't want more accolades. Upon winning the Golden Globe earlier this year, Jennifer Lawrence said, “I’m sorry I’m shaking so much — don’t ever do this again! It’s so scary!”

Follow Laura on Twitter.

Photo via Getty


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Monday, March 3, 2014

20 Boring Things Twentysomething Women Love to Talk About

1. The meaningless ways in which various alcohol affects a person. "Tequila makes me hyper." "Red wine drunk is like SO much sleepier than Champagne drunk." "I never remember ANYTHING when I'm drinking Jack."

2. How drunk you were last night. "I was so drunk last night. Oh my god, so, get this: I put a microwave burrito in the oven and FORGOT about it. And THEN — LOL — I fell asleep!  And I am SUCH A MORON — MY FAUCET WAS RUNNING WHILE I WAS PASSED OUT AND THEN I WOKE UP AND WAS HOLDING BLUE GATORADE. LIKE, WHEN DID I BUY BLUE GATORADE?"

3. The category of men you hate. "I hate American men, they don't understand chivalry." "I hate nightclub men, they're SO sexually harass-y."

4. Jennifer Lawrence.

5. How tired you are. "I just started House of Cards and I could NOT turn it off. Are you on it yet? God I'm exhausted."

6. Whether or not you should rent formalwear. "Have you done that before? Is it worth the money? I could buy four dresses on ASOS for the price of one rented dress, so, it's like, you know."

7. What you're naming your children. "Tess and Cora." "Marie and Vivian." "If I HAVE to have a boy, Liam."

8. Yoga. "I can do crow pose now. It's not hard. Just come to this class and you'll be able to do it, too. Omigosh and forearm stands!" [Friend then goes to class and fails to execute both crow pose and forearm stand.]

9. How hard that new exercise class you went to was. "I have done the Tracy Anderson Method and Flybarre and this class kicked my ass SO hard. I don't even know if I can go out dancing tonight, UGH! Oh, you're going to that club? OK, I'm in."

10. The Bachelor. "I hate Andi. I liked her but now I hate her. But I still hate Juan Pablo more. And his tank tops. He has more tank tops than everyone at Coachella combined. Asshole."

11. Snacks. "I can't decide what I want. Would it be gross to get an Almond Joy? Maybe I should just get a mini Reese's peanut butter cup. Or Baked Lays?"

12. How you're boring and old now. "I used to go out ALL the time. Now I just stay in with Ben and drink red wine. Does that make me lame? Or is lame the new cool? It's winter, whatever."

13. How you don't really use Facebook anymore. "I used to go on all the time but at some point my feed just got clogged with baby photos and I can't take it anymore. Oh wait, I need to check us in at this restaurant."

14. Hashtags. "I LOVE that dress on you. Hashtag FABULOUS!"

15. Kale. "Have you had that kale salad at that new place`? I like it because it has the perfect ratio of cheese to kale to squash."

16. Whether or not you use LinkedIn. "In creative fields you don't need it. I only have it just to have it but not, you know, use it."

17. How relaxing House Hunters is. "I hate everyone on that show but I love watching it. Did you see that 22-year-old who got the apartment in Paris for like a million dollars? Hate her. God House Hunters International is the best."

18. How you never have food in your apartment. "I don't know why but I can never seem to have groceries around. And then I go to my parents house in Ohio and it's like, eight kinds of Pepperidge Farm cookies AND at least three bags of corn chips. I just think, will that ever be me?"

19.  How you can't believe it's only whatever day of the week it is. "I can't believe it's only Tuesday. Doesn't it feel like it should be Thursday? I'm going to basically die before this week ends, I just know it."

20. How insane/dumb/terrible people you work with are. "I can hear him clipping his nails at his desk at least once a week. Doesn't he know that's grade A disgusting? Men are stupid."

Follow Amy on Twitter.

Photo Credit: Getty Images


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What a Gynecologist Can (and Can't) Tell About You From a Quick Exam

A gynecologist took to Reddit to answer questions about what they can and cannot tell from a simple vaginal examination. It's pretty interesting! Like, they can garner an educated guest about how pregnant you are, but they can't tell if you ate just Cheetos for dinner or if you're sexing the entire town. 

Specifically:

I can tell you if she has chlamydia with a speculum exam (greenish goo from the cervical os), BV by the smell or the wet prep, yeast if it's cheesy discharge, early pregnancy by discoloration of the cervix (Chadwick's sign), ovarian cancer with a bimanual exam and an ultrasound, how far along she is in pregnancy by measuring fundal height, diabetes with a urine dipstick...

What they tell you in the course of history taking is a whole another ballgame.

But if what you really want to know is if she's promiscuous by how "loose" her vagina is, or if I can tell she does anal by examining her rectum, sorry, you're out of luck.

Not totally related, but still totally interesting, a midwife chimed in with news about placentas:

The placenta of a smoker is always gritty and gross, and the placenta of a woman who has gone post dates is usually calcified in parts. They are tremendously varied, but you can usually tell a lot from examining them. Placentas are cool.

I'll go a step further and say bodies are cool. And weird. And amazing. At the risk of sounding like an extra from Dazed & Confused: Being alive is crazy, man.

Follow Laura on Twitter.

Photo via Getty


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Sunday, March 2, 2014

Jillian Michaels Speaks Out About Rachel Frederickson's Dramatic Weight Loss

Jillian Michaels, Biggest Loser's Queen B, says she was taken aback by winner Rachel Frederickson's dramatic weight loss at this season's finale.

"I was stunned," she said during a recent appearance on HuffPost Live. "I thought she had lost too much weight."

Michaels said the show implements a number of checks and balances, including having the trainers check in with contestants even after they've left the ranch. But she had no idea Frederickson had been losing so much on her own, she said. "In my opinion, this had fallen through those checks and balances."

Honestly, when you push people to drastically restrict their food consumption and workout all day long, you should not be surprised when they get REALLY skinny, REALLY fast. After all, this isn't a show about health. This is a show about skinniness, and a lot of money is on the line. She played to win, and who knows how her health was impacted. Obviously if she violated anything within the shows rules, she would've been kicked out, right? So that stuff about checks and balances is pretty much b.s.

This feels like another example of the pressure put on women to look a certain way or be judged for their "imperfect" body — you're way too fat and now you're way too skinny. It feels disingenious for anyone — especially Jillian Michales — to act concerned about the amount of weight a contestant lost on a show that's primary directive to its contestants is to be the "biggest loser".  

Follow Laura on Twitter.

Photo via Getty


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Thursday, February 13, 2014

Taylor Swift Gives Insufferably Perfect Quote About Nudity

Taylor Swift has ruled out stripping off any time soon.

The 'I Knew You Were Trouble' singer told Glamour magazine that she doesn't have the urge to use her sex appeal, instead preferring to focus on her songwriting.

"I find it relatively easy to keep my clothes on because I don't really feel like taking them off," said Swift. "It's not an urge I have.

"For me, 'risky' is revealing what really happened in my life through music. Risky is writing confessional songs and telling the true story about a person with enough details so everyone knows who that person is.

"That's putting myself out there, maybe even more than taking my shirt off."

Swift is currently in the UK as part of her 'Red' tour.

Sam Smith joined the star on stage during her second show at The O2 on February 2, performing 'Money on My Mind'.

Via Digital Spy


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Carrie Underwood Talks About How Distance Makes Her Marriage Stronger

 

Check out what Carrie Underwood, Almay’s newest global brand ambassador had to tell Cosmo about her all-star beauty know-how, keeping things hot with her man, and going out with her girls. 

Almay says one of the reasons they chose you to be their spokesperson is because you’re so relatable. Why do you think you’re relatable?
I think people have picked up on the fact that I'm normal. Country music is all about being relatable and singing about real-life situations. People trust me, and these products are things that I would actually use. I love the Smart Shade CC Cream and Color + Care Liquid Lip Balms.

Despite describing yourself as "normal," do you consider yourself sexy?
I mainly like to feel pretty. It really is, "what do I want to be today?" I feel like there's so much out there with fashion and hair and makeup. You can just decide, "how do I feel?" 

Speaking of sexy, how do you and your husband, hockey player Mike Fisher, keep the spark going with such crazy schedules?
That's part of what makes our marriage awesome. I don't want somebody there all the time. No matter what, it would just wear on me and I'm sure I would wear on whoever I was with. I really enjoy missing him. I love our time together but I enjoy our time apart too. We definitely talk to each other every single day when we're apart, but sometimes it's just, "OK, you're home, did you have a good day?"

Do you have any exciting Valentine’s Day plans?
I've always pretty much despised Valentine’s Day to be honest, because when I was younger and in college, I never had anyone to celebrate with, I never had a boyfriend on Valentine’s Day. So I always was one of those, "I hate Valentine’s Day" kind of people. But that's actually the Olympic break for my husband so we’re going to be taking off and going on a little vacation.

And what about friends, are your friendships really important to you?
They are. I always considered myself someone who never really had that many girlfriends. l always had more guy friends in high school. Then I got to college and joined a sorority of girls that always had more guy friends, so I was with a lot of people that were like me. I have some really dynamic girlfriends which I think is really wonderful. We’re all opinionated but respectful and we talk about everything. 

What do you and your friends like to do?
Occasionally we go karaoke. But we'll go to a dive karaoke place, you know, a sticky tables and fried pickles kind of place, and have fun and be stupid. We have the most random parties where no one's been drinking, but we probably all appear very intoxicated to anyone that didn't know better because we have so much fun and dance and act silly and dress silly. 

What’s your favorite red carpet makeup look?
I'm definitely an eye shadow kind of girl because that's the easiest thing to play up to me, your eyes. And I love shimmery things. We like to keep things pretty on the carpet because so many of the dresses I end up picking are things that I feel pretty in. I want my makeup and my hair to match.  

What do you look like when you’re off the red carpet?
I'm definitely "done." Even if I go a little more simple on my face, I definitely have mascara and eyeliner [on]. When I walk in front of a mirror, I just feel better about myself than if I just did nothing.

So, we’re never going to see you in a "stars without makeup" picture?
Actually, I have seen one of those before, but I was going to the gym! Who wears makeup to the gym? That's not even fair! I'm just going to sweat it off anyway.

You do your own makeup on tour, how come? 
It's such a quiet time for me when I'm on the bus and everyone else is getting things ready for the show. I turn on the radio and just get ready. It's all about my mood. You can tell exactly how I'm feeling by what I'm listening to that day.  

What’s the '90s beauty trend you most regret trying when you were younger?
I tweezed my eyebrows as so many women did, and I had no guidance. They never grew back the way they should have grown back. That's a thing I deal with on a daily basis — trying to draw my eyebrows back in from what I did in like junior high. It's not fair.

Photo Credit: Getty Images

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Saturday, January 11, 2014

The 13 Best Things About Being a Lesbian

Whether you’re well-versed in lesbianhood, a total newbian, or just curious about the positive aspects of being gay-as-hell, this list is sure to help you understand exactly why being a lesbian is so goddamn wonderful.

1. You get to make out with girls.

Making out with girls is awesome for a hundred bajillion reasons. One being the increased potential for flavored lip gloss. Who doesn’t love strawberries with their make-out session?!


2. You can make-out in dressing rooms and public bathrooms and pretty much anywhere you ever want ever...

The world is your make-out oyster. Girls go to the bathroom together all the time, so like, oops you’re going to the bathroom together and now you’re making out against a wall and no one knows a single thing. Bar bathroom not your ideal setting for a boner? No worries, try dressing rooms! Insider tip: The dressing rooms at Old Navy are REALLY spacious.


3. Did we mention that you get to make out with girls?

Making out with girls also means you’ll be dealing with much less face-stubble. Now you can make out for hours on end and not damage that pretty face. Win-win.


4. No. Pregnancy. Scares.

Birth control?!?! NOT FOR YOU, MY FRIEND. No unexpected babies in your future, no matter how much you’re doin’ it.


5. You can take personal credit for Ellen’s success.

Ellen? Yea, she’s pretty lucky to have us. If it weren’t for all of us she’d be nothing. We (read: lesbians) found her on the streets, groomed her, gave her confidence, put her through comedy school, and packed her lunch every day for years. We done so good, y’all.


6. DOUBLE YOUR WARDROBE.

Sure, this one isn’t necessarily a guarantee, but there is a damn high probability that you’ll have double the chambray shirts, endless flannels, and lots of new t-shirts to steal wear. Bonus points for same shoe size!


7. DOUBLE YOUR TAMPON SUPPLY.

Let’s be real. Nothing is worse than starting your period in the middle of the night and having to shove toilet paper in your underwear. Now, your doin’-it partners are not only the objects of your love and affection, they are also reliable suppliers of necessary feminine products. Tampons for dayyyyyyyys!! (Plus: If there aren’t any tampons, you have someone to yell at.)


8. No facial hair in the bathroom sink!

What’s more more disgusting than tiny coarse hairs in the sink clogging things and accidentally getting on your toothbrush and -


9. You will never have to know what a prostate is.

What is a prostate, anyway?! Caveat: So many breast self-exams. Bonus: Someone to do your breast exams for you!


10. You get to make fun of The L Word

Some of us may love The L Word’s dramatic trajectory of lesbian life in sunny, wealthy California, and some of us just wish we could look away. But, guess what? It doesn’t matter. We all collectively come together in a sea of obligatory viewing to comment on topics such as Jenny Schecter’s ridiculous writing career, that time Shane gave up sex and the world almost ended, nooooo Dana, and OHMYGOD CARMEN IS SO HOT. It might be so bad but also, it’s kind of so good.


11. You’re can scream-sing to Melissa Etheridge anytime, any place, for any reason.

AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO WALKED ACROSS A FIRE FOR YOU?! YES, I AM THE ONLY ONE, AND THIS SONG RULES.


12. No blow jobs. None. Not-a-one.


13. You’ll never have to read an article on “How To Get Him to Please You” EVER AGAIN.

Everyone in the room understands how vaginas work! We’ve had them for years! We know what a G-spot is! We know where all the buttons and whistles are! Put the manuals away! (Sorry, Cosmo...)

Kristin Russo lives in New York City and holds a master's degree in gender studies. Dannielle Owens-Reid lives in Los Angeles where she rehearses stand-up comedy in front of her cat. Together they run the website everyoneisgay.com.

Photo Credit: Getty Images


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Thursday, January 2, 2014

You Won’t Believe This Horror Movie About Porn Is Real

Christian production company Holy Moly Pictures just released the first trailer for their upcoming film The Lock-In, due on January 9th (via Metro). In it, teens bring a tattered porn magazine to their church lock-in and are, ahem, punished for it. Just watching the trailer, I have some issues:

1. The main characters are supposedly high-school seniors and act like this is the first time they’ve ever seen pornography.

2. "We are making a small, little fun movie." No one talks like that and I can't wait to watch masturbation demons murder you now. I officially have zero emotional investment in the characters and we're about 8 seconds into this trailer.

3. They call it a “nudie mag” like they’re the cast of Stand By Me.

4. Why are you taking pornography you found in a bush? So many things wrong with that.

5. Based on the above, not one of them have ever been on the internet, ever.

6. I am absolutely positive that a church lock-in doesn’t actually involve locking the church so no one can leave because that is insane.

7. Why does this church have so many security cameras?

8. We have a shot of someone that probably lives in his mom's basement say "to see what [pornography] did to those kids..." and then we cut to a poorly lit shot of someone hanging out on stairs being really bad at pretending to yell. I will never look at porn again if it means i don't have to watch this movie.

9. Demons or no, nothing about a church lock-in sounds fun.

10. Stop yelling, “Jessica!” If you’re going to have someone screaming “Jessica” in your trailer that many times, then maybe also show Jessica once in the trailer.

11. I see demons every time I look at pornography. I don’t understand what the issue here is.

Personally, I can’t wait to watch an hour and a half of grainy, night-vision footage of religious teens running around yelling and probably not doing much else since this is still meant to be family-friendly. I know what I’m doing January 9th.

Photo Credit: Holy Moly Pictures

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Saturday, December 28, 2013

So, About That Time Miley Cyrus Made Out With Cara Delevingne

Remember when Miley Cyrus had a gay old time at MTV's European Music Awards in Amsterdam back in October? (You know, the time when she toked up on stage and everyone was like O_O even though it's AMSTERDAM PEOPLE, get with the program.) Anyway, emphasis on the phrase "gay old time" in particular, because Miley got together with British model/gadabout of the moment Cara Delevingne while in town for the ceremony and they licked each others' tongues in the back of some bar. 

Miley just shared a photo of the special faux-lesbian moment on Twitter, with a faux-rainbow too. Fun fact: the photo has been retweeted over 19,000 times already at the time of this posting, but not (yet) by Cara herself. Speculate away. I had always thought this sort of open-mouth makeout session was limited to Eastern European gay porn films from the late '90s, but there you go — the cool kids are appropriating queer culture again. #Typical.

p.s. Let's now re-examine Miley's "Adore You" music video for signs of semi-latent bisexuality. 

 Follow Alex on Twitter.

Photo credit: Twitter / Miley Cyrus


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"My Boyfriend Is Great in Bed, But I Always Fantasize About Adding a Girl to Our Fun"

Our sex and relationships columnist, Logan Hill, answers your most personal questions.

"I'm married, and one of my best friends is a guy. A couple of years ago we started sleeping together. We ended the sex and saved the friendship, and everything went back to normal. Recently we slipped up and have slept together a couple of times. Now things are weird and awkward. How do we save the friendship and go back to being just friends?"

It sounds like things are awkward because you’ve blurred the lines of your friendship too much and too often. Every time you blur those lines, it gets harder to remember where they were in the first place.

So why not dump the friend? Some friendships can’t be saved, and that’s OK: We’re not meant to be best friends forever with everyone. And sometimes it’s our best friends who enable our worst behaviors. (See: every Behind the Music ever.) You say you “slipped up” when you had sex with him — so it doesn’t sound healthy.

At the very least, go cold turkey for a while. Why not tell him you need four months or so to reset the friendship and that it can never happen again. Cut off all contact, earn your monogamy chips, and then grab lunch in the spring. It’s normal to drop out of touch with friends for a few months; sometimes it’s necessary.

My big question: Do you worry as much about your husband as you do about your friend with benefits? I’m guessing this isn’t one of those mutually respectful open marriages — or as I like to call them, mythical unicorn marriages — and if it isn’t, you’re playing with fire. A lot of people think that getting caught is the big danger, but the distraction can be just as dangerous: On those nights when you were with your fuck buddy, and on those days when you were obsessing over your affair, you weren’t thinking of your marriage, were you? I’ve had cheating friends talk about how they can’t behave normally with their spouses because they’re so riven with guilt; they talk about how they become distracted at dinner — or in bed — by thoughts of the secret drama they’ve created, and they say all those thoughts pull them further away from the person they loved enough to marry. And for what? Assuming you want to stay married, you may be focusing your attention on repairing a relationship with the wrong guy.

"I like to listen to music while having sex – like I love to listen to Lana Del Rey and get really into the sex I'm having – but my boyfriend says it makes him feel awkward and he can't concentrate. Should I just give up trying to make sex magical for myself?"

First off, I don’t hate Lana Del Rey like a lot of guys, but, even so, let’s be real: She’s more of a video artist, and that album came out in 2010. So if you’ve been putting Lana on repeat during sex for the last three years, it’s entirely reasonable for your boyfriend to lose his mind — and his erection. While you’re imagining yourself as Lana’s film noir femme fatale, he may, in fact, be feeling more like he’s in Clockwork Orange.

Even if Lana isn’t the problem, a sex soundtrack is just a matter of personal preference, and if you like it, don’t give up. Try to get him to meet you halfway: Buy a bottle of something strong and spend a night on iTunes together, crafting a better booty playlist. There are plenty of surefire boudoir balladeers out there — from D’Angelo and The XX to Kendrick Lamar and My Bloody Valentine — who would mix well with Del Rey and might be appropriate for your particular musical kink. Since your boyfriend is easily distracted, maybe he’d enjoy something in a foreign language (Sigur Ros, Serge Gainsbourg, Hector Lavoe, etc.) that he doesn’t understand? Or maybe he agrees with Tom Waits, who once said a romantic night calls for “something that’s not too interruptive, like elevator music,” in which case there’s a whole world of electronica, ambient music and moody film soundtracks that could take you somewhere “magical” too.

If this is truly an irreconcilable difference, you may have to buy him some earplugs. Or treat yourself to a nice pair of bluetooth headphones. (Kidding. Kinda.)

"I'm a straight female who has been in a two-year relationship. My boyfriend is great in bed, but I always fantasize adding a girl to our fun. Is it weird that I get turned on by females?"

Weird? I think necrophiliacs are weird. But this? I’ll put it this way: If you tell your guy that you want to have sex with him and another woman — and why not, if that’s what you want? — then I can think of a million things he might say. Nearly all of them involve some variation on “please” and “how soon?” Zero involve the phrase, “You’re so weird.” This may be the second-most common fantasy of even the most vanilla straight guy, ranking slightly below “Sex. Just any kind of sex.”

Of course, he may be surprised at first, and he may not leap right into it — but that doesn’t mean he’s judging you. He may just need some time to make sure you’re serious — and that it’s good for the relationship. For instance, I’ve had pals say they don’t know how to respond to such an unexpected offer, because they worry women are floating the fantasy in order to test their fidelity; if they seem too excited, they fear it will confirm jealous suspicions that they want to sleep with other women.

What matters most, though, is how you feel. You need to figure out why it feels weird to you. Is it because being with a woman is new and unfamiliar territory to you? It’s not weird to “get turned on by females.” All across the world right now, women are having great sex, bad sex, first dates, lifelong romances, one-night stands, sext sessions and couples’ therapy with other women. If you’re attracted to women, that’s not weird. If you’re attracted to both men and women, that’s not weird. In fact, I think Miley Cyrus made out with, like, eight women, seven guys and three teddy bears on stage last night.

But think it through: Like all sex, only multiplied by another person, a threesome could be hot, awful or something in between. It could heat up your love life, and it could feel “weird” because you worry it might add some unwanted instability to your two-year relationship. You might try it and decide that it’s something you don’t want to do again. That’s fine too. Sometimes, fantasies work in real life. Sometimes, they’re best left as just that: fantasies.

One firm piece of advice: Make up your own mind before you suggest a threesome to your boyfriend. Once you raise the idea, he probably won’t let you forget it.

Do you have a question about sex, dating or relationships for Logan? Submit it here.

Follow Logan on Twitter.

Photo Credit: Weinstein Company


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Friday, December 27, 2013

Joan Rivers Isn't Done Talking About Jennifer Lawrence

It appears the feud between Jennifer Lawrence and Joan Rivers isn't quite over. Last month, after Lawrence called out Fashion Police for judging young people on their looks, Rivers responded on Twitter, calling J.Law arrogant and saying the actress didn't seem to mind the commentary when it was favorable to her. Now Rivers has told "Page Six" that her New Year’s resolution is making sure that "Jennifer Lawrence grows up and realizes how lucky she is and calms down.”

She went on: “I love that she’s telling everyone how wrong it is to worry about retouching and body image, and meanwhile, she has been touched up more than a choir boy at the Vatican. Look at her posters. She doesn’t have a nose, she has two holes. She just has to learn, don’t talk if you’re doing it.”

Lawrence has already been nominated for a Golden Globe and will surely be a red carpet regular this awards season, so it's possible that this isn't the end of it.

Via Huffington Post

Photo Credit: Getty Images


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Thursday, December 26, 2013

The Frightening Sex Crime You Don't Always Hear About

The new documentary Tricked is a frightening look at modern domestic sex trafficking. Featuring interviews with pimps, prostitutes, and law enforcement officials, the film reveals how pimps troll social media for vulnerable women who can be lured away from home and forced into prostitution. Cosmo sat down with directors John Keith Wasson and Jane Wells to find out more about the side of prostitution most people don’t get to see.

There’s a theme throughout your film that prostitution is not a victimless crime and these women are being sold into a form of slavery. During the credits, we learn that potentially 90 percent of prostitutes are in the industry against their will. Where did that statistic come from?

Jane Wells: The statistics are necessarily hard to come by because I don’t know that the research has ever been funded. But in the continuum of the life of someone that works in the sex industry, I believe that it’s as high as 90 to 95 percent [for people who are] either are in a situation [where they're being forced to work] or have seen coercion at some point in their career. But I think that the larger issue is that very, very, very few people choose to work in prostitution as a career choice because that’s what they chose to do when they grew up.

Why do you think it’s labeled as a victimless crime?

John Keith Wasson: The media is certainly one place to start. There’s a wealth of movies and songs and all sorts of things that perpetuate it as a bit of a glorious life if you're looking at the pimp's perspective or if you’re a john, that the girl is just trying to get through dental school and whatnot. We all have to get on the same page and recognize that the status quo isn’t so hot when it comes to this particular situation.

A lot of the young women in the film were recruited through the Internet before being forced into prostitution. Do you think this is a new behavior tied to the access to this technology, or just an adaptation of old tactics?

Jane Wells: Well, I think pimps are very savvy criminals. So they will use the resources available to them, and of course the Internet and tablets and cell phones are the latest resource. I think it’s rather disarming for us to see that now. [Girls are] recruited through their phones in their own living rooms in front of their parents. That’s a very alarming trend. But no doubt there will be other adaptations as technology in our culture moves forward.

John Keith Wasson: The trade is timeless, and it really doesn’t matter what technology you throw at it. A savvy street mind is going to figure out how to prey on the disadvantaged or disillusioned. 

Jane Wells: They will find ways to find those people. Rain, the young girl who is in the film — when she was 11 years old, a man cruised up to her while she was walking down the street, so that tells you how he found her. The other two were recruited through Mocospace [a chatroom and social game website] in their living rooms. It could be through Facebook at a bus station, an airport, wherever.

You’re documenting some pretty horrendous situations. Was there anything you encountered that truly shocked you?

Jane Wells: The trend that it’s actually getting younger is shocking. I think the money situation that the girls make absolutely zero percent is shocking. Our main thing that we are trying to get across is that it affects everybody.

Did you meet anyone in the sex trade who supported it or felt it was a viable career?

Jane Wells: We spoke with one sex trade professional. I thought it was 100 percent appropriate what she’s doing, but she has made a choice to be doing what she is doing. She gets more questions from people who are asking more and more into joining it. She’s scared because people are getting taken advantage of. She said there’s plenty of crocodiles in that water, so she’s fearful of what direction that’ll take. 

Do you think that these girls reach a point where they’re no longer being “forced” to be prostitutes in any direct way, but they don’t leave because it’s all they know?

John Keith Wasson: There is so much shame for them that it's hard to imagine life outside that life. And then our culture shames those people too because we still see them as criminals before victims, and that’s where we all have a part to play. Even using the word prostitute is somehow implying something negative and derogatory. The other thing is it makes it very hard to get other work.

What do you hope people take away from the film?

Jane Wells: What I hope will happen is if there is one girl that sees this film and understands that this could happen to her, and she thinks twice about how she interacts with some charming handsome man who wants to be her boyfriend and starts flattering her, she’ll just be a little more careful. And I hope that young men see it and decide that maybe they don’t want to grow up to be pimps and to glorify the pimp culture. On the bigger level, I hope we start the conversation about what this really is and not behind the fantasy that it’s like Pretty Woman or in Taken, with Liam Neeson’s daughter off somewhere in Europe. 

John Keith Wasson: I want people to ask, "Can you actually do something?" I think as a whole we are ready for more education on the subject. As a group we start noticing a bit more and being a bit more sympathetic to the horrible situation. You don’t jump and say that they’re a “whore” and that it doesn’t matter, which unfortunately we have heard sometimes. Even in some of the best police departments out there, you hear derogatory words. All of it makes a huge difference. We are hoping to continue that conversation.

Tricked will be available through video on demand in 2014 and can currently be requested for educational distribution by visiting their website.

Photo Credit: Getty Images


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Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Monday, October 7, 2013

17 Harsh Truths About The Older Boyfriend

1. However cool it makes you is exactly how lame it makes him. You might feel like Joan Jett when he picks you up in his Seville outside the high school in front of all your friends, but he is being mercilessly mocked by all of the women in his life for dating a 14-year-old.

2. It’s not super-sweet and romantic of him when he buys you beer and/or gets you a fake. If you’re an inexperienced drinker who feels it after 2 bottles of Mike’s Hard, that benefits him, not you.

3. Among the biggest reasons that he likes you is because you’re young. Yes, he might be into you because you like the same bands and you act “mature for your age.” (Has he ever told you that you have "an old soul?" Puke.) But mostly, it’s the fact that he’s your first. Not necessarily just sexually, but myriad other ways, too: The first guy you watch The Godfather with, the guy who buys you a copy of Pink Floyd’s “Dark Side of The Moon,” the first one in the passenger’s seat as soon as you get your learner’s permit... Being the older, wiser man is a power trip for him. And that’s all about him, not about you.

4. And if he’s your boss, the said power trip he is getting off on should be overt. Unless it’s just a fun, sexy, baggage-free throw-you-over-your-desk situation where nobody gets hurt at the end.

5. There’s probably a reason no woman his age wants to date him. Don’t stick around long enough to find out why.

6. Defending your relationship will frequently ruin your friendships. You’ll end up alienating the friends who are dropping truth-bombs such as the one above. Next thing you know, he’s your closest friend as well as your boyfriend — which creates a co-dependent dynamic that’s bad for any relationship.

8. Whether or not you tell your parents about him or not, it’s a lose-lose. If not, the sneaking around, lies and secrets will strain your relationship. And if you tell them, you’ll deal with all-out fights.

9. This is probably a pattern for him. No matter how special he insists you are, the chances are that he’s been dating younger girls for years.

10. Yes, he might have sex with you and then bail. I know hearing that is like sticking a fork in your chest and ripping your heart out. It’s true, though.

11. Sleeping with him might be a bigger emotional deal for you than you think. Maybe you’re sure that you won’t be dramatic about it, like “other girls.” But that shit tends to sneak up on you. And it doesn’t mean you’re weak or naïve— it just means that you value yourself. Which is mature, by the way.

12. If he’s married, he’s not going to leave his wife for you. Which is one of those things where, yeah, it could happen, it has happened, but asteroids also hit the Earth occasionally and we all still leave our houses without wearing full-body protective Plexiglass domes. Enough said.

13. He might be running from a bad relationship with a woman his age. If he had a nasty breakup with (or for older men, a nasty divorce from) someone in his demographic, there’s a good shot that’s why he’s with you — someone who, ostensibly, can’t hurt him. But he can hurt you. It’s like a Chain of Pain up in here.

14. It’s great how you guys are on the same emotional level, right! (Wrong.) He’s in a different generation than you; he shouldn’t be a decade behind emotionally. That’s like valuing a 30-year-old because he has the math aptitude of a middle schooler.

15. He gets along so well with your friends! Awesome! (Nope.) See above.

16. It’s probably not going to last. Let me rephrase that: It probably shouldn’t last, because as you get older, you’ll change (which is normal and great so don’t fight it! It’s the emotional version of going from breast buds to boobs!) and want different things.

17. If he ends it because you’re too young, let him. That means he’s actually a decent guy. And maybe somewhere down the road, things will be different for both of you. But the only way for that to happen is to let it end when it’s supposed to.

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