Showing posts with label Twentysomething. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Twentysomething. Show all posts

Saturday, August 30, 2014

Twentysomething Women Smuggled Stolen Watches in Their Vaginas

Three women stole watches from a Las Vegas hotel room and attempted to smuggle them out in their vaginas [via Fox Las Vegas].

After talking their way into the hotel room of two gentlemen, Bryanna Warren and Trinity Kennard, both 23, and Charmella Triggs swiped their $12,000 and $4,000 watches. (Aside: Why are these two guys leaving their watches around, especially when they're worth more than pretty much anything I own?) The guys realized their watches were missing, at which point the three thieves booked it out of there. One of the men gave chase, but gave up when one of the women threatened him with a stun gun.

The escaping culprits then stuffed the timepieces into their vaginas, according to security footage. Because I guess they figured if they got stopped by police, the police would just be like, "Oh, well. I don't see the watches and I'm not about to check your vagina, so you're free to go." Also, I don't have a vagina so I'm no expert, but wouldn't all those watch links be really ... abrasive? And what are they going to do with the watches later? I feel like most pawnshops would tell them, "Sorry. I can't accept this. It smells like it's been in a vagina." I've seen Pawn Stars before. This is always a concern.

Despite a stellar plan, police caught up with the robbers while they were hailing a taxi. They're being charged with burglary, conspiracy to commit grand larceny, and conspiracy to commit robbery. Authorities were able to recover one of the watches. :-(

Follow Frank on Twitter.


From Cosmopolitan.com. Visit Amazon Beauty Ceneter here

Monday, March 3, 2014

20 Boring Things Twentysomething Women Love to Talk About

1. The meaningless ways in which various alcohol affects a person. "Tequila makes me hyper." "Red wine drunk is like SO much sleepier than Champagne drunk." "I never remember ANYTHING when I'm drinking Jack."

2. How drunk you were last night. "I was so drunk last night. Oh my god, so, get this: I put a microwave burrito in the oven and FORGOT about it. And THEN — LOL — I fell asleep!  And I am SUCH A MORON — MY FAUCET WAS RUNNING WHILE I WAS PASSED OUT AND THEN I WOKE UP AND WAS HOLDING BLUE GATORADE. LIKE, WHEN DID I BUY BLUE GATORADE?"

3. The category of men you hate. "I hate American men, they don't understand chivalry." "I hate nightclub men, they're SO sexually harass-y."

4. Jennifer Lawrence.

5. How tired you are. "I just started House of Cards and I could NOT turn it off. Are you on it yet? God I'm exhausted."

6. Whether or not you should rent formalwear. "Have you done that before? Is it worth the money? I could buy four dresses on ASOS for the price of one rented dress, so, it's like, you know."

7. What you're naming your children. "Tess and Cora." "Marie and Vivian." "If I HAVE to have a boy, Liam."

8. Yoga. "I can do crow pose now. It's not hard. Just come to this class and you'll be able to do it, too. Omigosh and forearm stands!" [Friend then goes to class and fails to execute both crow pose and forearm stand.]

9. How hard that new exercise class you went to was. "I have done the Tracy Anderson Method and Flybarre and this class kicked my ass SO hard. I don't even know if I can go out dancing tonight, UGH! Oh, you're going to that club? OK, I'm in."

10. The Bachelor. "I hate Andi. I liked her but now I hate her. But I still hate Juan Pablo more. And his tank tops. He has more tank tops than everyone at Coachella combined. Asshole."

11. Snacks. "I can't decide what I want. Would it be gross to get an Almond Joy? Maybe I should just get a mini Reese's peanut butter cup. Or Baked Lays?"

12. How you're boring and old now. "I used to go out ALL the time. Now I just stay in with Ben and drink red wine. Does that make me lame? Or is lame the new cool? It's winter, whatever."

13. How you don't really use Facebook anymore. "I used to go on all the time but at some point my feed just got clogged with baby photos and I can't take it anymore. Oh wait, I need to check us in at this restaurant."

14. Hashtags. "I LOVE that dress on you. Hashtag FABULOUS!"

15. Kale. "Have you had that kale salad at that new place`? I like it because it has the perfect ratio of cheese to kale to squash."

16. Whether or not you use LinkedIn. "In creative fields you don't need it. I only have it just to have it but not, you know, use it."

17. How relaxing House Hunters is. "I hate everyone on that show but I love watching it. Did you see that 22-year-old who got the apartment in Paris for like a million dollars? Hate her. God House Hunters International is the best."

18. How you never have food in your apartment. "I don't know why but I can never seem to have groceries around. And then I go to my parents house in Ohio and it's like, eight kinds of Pepperidge Farm cookies AND at least three bags of corn chips. I just think, will that ever be me?"

19.  How you can't believe it's only whatever day of the week it is. "I can't believe it's only Tuesday. Doesn't it feel like it should be Thursday? I'm going to basically die before this week ends, I just know it."

20. How insane/dumb/terrible people you work with are. "I can hear him clipping his nails at his desk at least once a week. Doesn't he know that's grade A disgusting? Men are stupid."

Follow Amy on Twitter.

Photo Credit: Getty Images


From Cosmopolitan.com. Visit Amazon Beauty Ceneter here

Saturday, December 28, 2013

20 Awesome Shows Every Twentysomething Must Watch

1. Felicity

Dare you to not fall in love with good-girl Felicity Porter (Keri Russell), who’s on her oft-earnest trip through college in NYC. Her world is a thing of pre-social media beauty where a simple note can fuel an episode plot and big decisions include getting pixie cut (yes, yes,yes!) and choosing between Ben or Noel (just wait and see!).

2. Sex and the City

The glitz — sex and book parties and Sarah Jessica Parker in a tutu, oh my — is the initial draw to this romcom. But Sex truly trades on its foursome: spunky Carrie, sultry Samantha, bookish Miranda, and prim Charlotte, who unspool ever-relevant and ever-ridiculous yarns about love, friendship, and — yep — the ins and outs of giving a blowjob.

3. Scandal

So much fun. Olivia Pope (Kerry Washington) leads her crack team of Washington, D.C., pseudo-lawyer “fixers” — all while wearing impeccable fashions and splendidly announcing “It’s handled!” with regularity. Oh, yeah, and there’s a rigged election, a presidential assassination attempt, a White House coup gone wrong, a murdered Supreme Court justice, and so, so much more breakneck crazy likely fueled by a case 5-Hour Energy in the writers’ room.

4. The O.C.

The pilot hooks you with a bevy of beautiful people (exhibits A, B, and C: Benjamin McKenzie, Adam Brody, and Chris Carmack), sudsy SoCal story lines, and one of modern TV’s most memorable lines: “Welcome to the O.C., bitch!” The show’s first season — introducing everything from winky in-show reality series The Valley to the Cohen’s annual Chrismukkah celebration to Seth and Summer’s tortured relationship — is a study in perfectly crafted, endlessly fun television.

5. The Mary Tyler Moore Show

Sure, everyone's talking about New Girl these days, but you can get a purer quirky-girl fix here. Mary Tyler Moore triumphed as TV’s first unmarried, independent career woman. Her Mary Richards, a syrupy television producer new to Minneapolis, was the every gal amid a lineup of fringy foils like a grumpy boss and nymphomaniac homemaker. Bonus points for tackling touchy subjects like pay equality, premarital sex, divorce and homosexuality.

6. Veronica Mars

Murder, She Wrote for a younger generation. Revel in Kristen Bell’s private investigating prowess, as she rolls around Neptune, Calif., solving mini-mysteries and trying to determine who murdered her best friend, Lily (Amanda Seyfried), over three seasons. Another good reason to join the party: A Kickstarter-funded, big-screen movie version hits theaters in 2014.

7. My So-Called Life

A painful, undeniable snapshot of adolescence that, blessedly, doesn’t feel like an after-school special and resonates well beyond those angsty years. Claire Danes’ crying-jag-prone Angela Chase plus Jared Leto’s dreamy-eyed Jordan Catalano equals swoon swoon swoon.

8. Homeland

Lots of cable’s most revered dramas are dude-ish (see: Breaking Bad, The Walking Dead). But here’s a show led by a lady in Carrie Mathison (hi again, Ms. Danes!), a CIA operative who grapples with things like tracking down a potential terrorist and then falling for said potential terrorist.

9. Girls

You’ll fall into one of two camps with this divisive, contemporary take on the twentysomething gal plight in NYC: Love it or loathe it. Whichever way you go, it’s worth watching Hannah, Marnie, Jessa, and Shoshanna live, love, hate, and party, just to partake in the outsize chatter around it all.

10. The Mindy Project

One of the funniest comedies on TV right now. Mindy Kaling is a wonder to behold, tearing around as a gyno whose brain is fried on romcoms. Her quips are wry, smart, and spot-on. "I figure if I'm gonna be a mess," she says at one turn, "I might as well be a hot mess.” And at another point, to her will-they-won’t-they love interest Danny (the sexy Chris Messina): “If we’re still single in five years and we haven’t found anybody, can we make a pact? That we will kill each other.” 

11. Buffy the Vampire Slayer

A coming-of-age fantasy by TV master Joss Whedon that’s told via a vampire slayer Buffy (Sarah Michelle Gellar) and her extended Scooby Gang. The genius here lies in its smart-but-low-budget execution, the deep literary and pop culture references, and the fact that at one point Buffy interrupts her SAT prep session to stab an enemy with her pencil.

12. Ally McBeal

Calista Flockhart was a revelation as a kooky Bean Town lawyer-heroine in this quirky comedy. Leggy micro-miniskirts in court? Yep. Sexy coffee sipping? Check. A dancing baby? Sure. A tour through McBeal dusts off an idiosyncratic brand of feminism and unpacks a glorious time capsule of the ’90s (see: chunky heeled loafers).

13. The Golden Girls

Sex and the City’s geriatric predecessor traded glamour girls in NYC for an AARP-eligible quartet in Miami who spun out wisdom for the ages. Here's a typical exchange, launched by eldest gal Sophia: "I've got something in this old-lady purse that's going to make you scream, holler, and jump for joy." Replies sexpot Blanche: "Are the batteries included?" The show's biggest lesson — that it's good to laugh — was often wrapped in such sly comebacks. Plus, it taught us that any problem can be solved with a cheesecake at 2 a.m.

14. Pretty Little Liars

Addictive, even while it’s hard to tell what the endgame of the noir-ish tale of four friends dealing with a faceless, digital bully really is. But it’s got snappy-fun dialogue, a billowing drive forward, and modern appeal. Plus, the stars — Ashley Benson, Troian Bellisario, Shay Mitchell, and Lucy Hale — collectively have the best hair on television.

15. Orange Is the New Black

What launches as a vignette about the struggle of an ill-prepared woman (Taylor Schilling) sent to prison quickly evolves into a study of hilarious and heartbreaking characters inside a women’s prison, ultimately an allegory for the outside world. A few other selling points: There are characters named Crazy Eyes and Taystee, divine American Pie alum Natasha Lyonne stars as a truth-telling lesbian, and Liev Schreiber’s hot half-brother Pablo appears as a prison guard named George “Pornstache” Mendez because he has awesome facial hair.

16. Game of Thrones

It seems like a nerdfest, sure: Various fur-wearing clans clamor around a Middle Ages-ish fictional world known as Westeros and battle for power. But it’s epic TV, owing largely to its boggling cast of characters, exotic settings, and copious use of dragons, as tamed by the enviable Khaleesi (the beguiling Emilia Clarke), who is just one of the many badass women on this show (see: Lena Headey, Natalie Dormer, Sophie Turner, and more).

17. The Daily Show

The day’s headlines and political missteps, delivered to you with biting humor (and a bent to the left) by the silvery foxy Jon Stewart. This should be as much a part of your pre-bedtime ritual as brushing your teeth.

18. Friends

It’s a gimme, but knowing this comedy behemoth is essential mostly because every life experience you’ll encounter is encapsulated in one of its episodes. Like, say, when you sleep with one of your pal's seven siblings but can't remember which one it is, or when you accidentally put beef in your trifle at Thanksgiving. See? Loaded with life lessons, friends.

19. Orphan Black

At face value, it’s a thriller exploring the moral issues of cloning and, rather thornily, personal identity. But scratch deeper and you’ll find Tatiana Maslany serving up an Emmy-worthy performance of 10 separate, completely distinct roles (and that’s just so far … season 2 is coming in April). Go ahead and schedule your jaw an appointment with the floor right now.

20. Clarissa Explains It All

Melissa Joan Hart’s star-making turn as a know-it-all teen who lived a way cooler life than you is wise beyond its years. Even adults can find solace in her musings. “Let’s face it, Sam,” she tells her best friend in an episode about blind dating, “when you bet on something you can’t see for yourself, you’re asking for disappointment.” 

Photo Credit: ABC Productions


From Cosmopolitan.com. Visit Amazon Beauty Center here

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

16 Ways Twentysomething Women Rationalize Spending Money

1. This is basically the price of my work expenses! I know I haven't even filled out my reimbursement form and I might not be able to find a third of my receipts but once I finally get around to filing that and getting my check back it will more than make up for the price of this leather T-shirt that I really need since that girl at the bar last night looked so good in hers.

2. Expense reimbursement checks are practically BONUSES. This feels like money I earned instead of money I already spent therefore I absolutely deserve those silver shoe booties Stacy said looked super-good on me. Stacy has the best taste.

3. I spent all that money to come on this tropical vacation already so what's another $50 on a Ceasar salad and fries? I came here to enjoy myself, not spend my time searching for reasonably priced nachos. Every proper yuppie knows that sitting next to a pool causes the price of everything to increase four fold. It's just a fact of life.

4. I already spent $60 on three daquiris yesterday. What's another $18 mai tai at this point? I pay $2 extra for egg white-only omelettes all the time.

5. Spending a week at my parents' house saved me SO much money. That's a full week's worth of eating out and apartment utilities that I don't have to pay for. I hope Stacy comes to Zara with me after brunch!

6. Ugh I had the WORST day. I can't believe how stupid that new department head Donna is. I can't wait to quit and work in a place where my brilliance is actually appreciated and — ooh Urban Outfitters. I'll just zip through — I deserve a new freakum dress after the shitty day I had. Donna wishes she had the body to pull this off.

7. I'm so excited about my new [apartment/job/promotion]! I better get a new [coffee table/shift dress/Theory blouse] since I'm most definitely not in a position to look like a shabby Sharon anymore. #MovingOnUp

8. I am so beyond stressed out. I can't do this anymore. Where's the number for Bliss, let's see here — "Hello? Hi, I need to come in for a massage this evening. Yes, 7 p.m. sounds good. You know I was thinking of the 60-minute deep tissue but if you have 75 minutes available… Mm hm, it's a Visa —"

9. Just another $30 for a paraffin foot wrap? OK! Why not? I've come this far. This massage is already so beyond worth the $200 I'm spending on it! I deserve it after the week I've had.

10. Maybe I should just go to the nice nail salon for a change. I mean, I don't have kids, I'm not married. Now is the time in my life when I can really afford to treat myself.

11. Being single just costs money. If you're going to go out to bars to try to meet potential mates you're going to have to spend $12 on one cosmopolitan sometimes! That's just how it goes. You can't meet people curled up in bed with Hulu Plus!

12. These shoes were not made for public transit. These are cab to curb shoes and that is it. Shit, is it raining? Fuck it, I'll just order an Uber.

13. Why is it that the only food I ever have in my apartment is frozen bread and Annie's bunny pasta. If I have another carb-only meal I'm going to turn into a churro. I better order that $16 salmon salad that's really good and filling and never makes me feel fat.

14. I would go to the gym so much more often if I had awesome neon-accented workout clothes. Besides, those Lululemon leggings make your thighs look firm instead of jiggly so I can go to aerobics class without feeling weird about my body. Oh, it's 10 percent off the second pair today only? I may as well get two.

15. Omigod omigod Gilt only has one left in my size! If I don't get that blazer right now I'll never find it in my size again. Added to cart, there. Omigod omigod! I only have six minutes left to purchase! I better get my credit card so I can enter everything in before I lose the last small.

16. Man, this blazer is kind of disappointing-looking on me. But returning it is like sooooo not happening #lazy #ihatemail. I'll just keep it.

Photo Credit: PacificCoastNews.com


From Cosmopolitan.com. Visit Amazon Beauty Ceneter here