How I Got Back on the Horse After a Devastating Breakup

Breakups are hard, especially when you get burned by a guy. It's like getting burned by a curling iron — the pain is instantly intense, then you're left with a stinging reminder for weeks, and it doesn't fully heal without a treatment of some kind before you're left scarred. For me, that treatment didn't come in the form of an ointment or even a therapist. Instead, three days after the initial sting of our breakup, it came from an animal that stood about 15 hands high, had four hooves, a mane prettier than Gisele's, and a muscular stature that rivaled Hercules's. My healing came from a horse.

I'd known the guy I was dating for two years — we were together for one and a half of them. We were fairytale happy, but he wasn't ready for commitment. He was always excited about future plans for us but never following through, or claiming he needed more time in hopes that he would one day be the man of my dreams — the man of his dreams, even. So I broke it off.

Six months after I told him that I couldn't keep seeing him (and cut off contact with him altogether), I saw him face-to-face at an event. I ignored him (What else was I going to do?), but a few days later, I woke up to a text from him that read: "I can't not talk to you anymore." My heartbeat shook my body. Is he finally going to change his ways and settle down? I thought.

We met up the next day and apologized and cried, but mostly laughed. The words to Taylor Swift's "I Knew You Were Trouble" immediately started playing on loop in my head. I sensed false promises, but had high hopes. Instead of politely declining any thought of getting back together and walking away with my confidence high, I told him that I missed him and we spent the rest of the day together. And that, my friends, is what thinking with your heart instead of your head looks like.

A month after of giving "us" another go, I was frustrated because his actions still weren't lining up with his words. I'd send a text that didn't get returned for hours, only to get a flood of excuses for why he couldn't get together to talk about what was going on. I called him from work one Thursday and ended things. Our second breakup hurt more than the first, but what hurt most was that he just let me walk away. He didn't fight for us. I was basically living a Phil Collins song.

When I got home I broke down. I sat on my couch and just tried to get all the tears out. I felt empowered by taking control of the situation, but it wasn't enough to overcome how sad I was. I needed some "me time."

I've been riding horses all my life. My dad grew up helping out at his uncle's horse farm and loves riding. When I was little, he and I would ride for hours — I was and continue to be a fearless rider, and being on a horse is my happy place. I knew that when I was feeling down, the best way to feel better was by lifting myself onto the back of a 900-pound animal and running at full speed. That was the way to get over my heartbreak.

The following Sunday, I traveled out to a local stable, climbed onto Quattro, the horse I usually ride, and Bob the Trail Guide and I headed off on a three-hour ride. Being atop something so powerful gave me an adrenaline rush and a sense of freedom that nothing else could — especially when Quattro took off galloping. The focus required just to stay on the running animal actually made me forget about the breakup completely.

We rode all over West Milford, New Jersey, and as soon as we were cantering, I felt my heart mending. I saw the world from a different perspective. Riding Quattro, I realized that in a relationship, you can't change someone who doesn't want to change, so it's best to just take the reins of your own life. I knew I'd get past this.

On the bus back to the city, I felt stronger than when I arrived at the stables. I even felt comfortable enough, after a dozen riding sessions with Quattro and Bob, to get back on the dating horse. A few weeks ago, tired of riding alone, I even invited a new guy to the stables with me and we had a blast. I guess my life isn't such a Phil Collins song after all.

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Miley Cyrus Took Her VMAs Date Out for Burgers After the Show

Miley Cyrus used her VMAs appearance Sunday to shed a spotlight on problems facing runaways and homeless youth when she won Video of the Year for "Wrecking Ball." But when Miley takes you to the VMAs, she doesn't make you pick up her Moonman without providing a little sustenance. She takes you out for burgers when the show's over!

After the VMAs, Miley and her date Jesse went to In-N-Out Burger, where they got those fun paper hats with palm trees on them and hopefully some animal-style fries. In the caption accompanying their burger selfie, Miley called Jesse her "hero" and said they went to the fast food restaurant to celebrate. Aww.

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10 Books To Read After A Breakup

1. Him, Her, Him Again, The End of Him by Patricia Marx

Seriously. Read this. Realizing that the guy you’ve wasted time on for years is a vacuous, pretentious douche nugget is actually kind of funny, and Marx proves it. A satirist who writes for the New Yorker, she’s confessed that the book — about an unnamed, neurotic college girl who spends 10 years pining for a pretentious PhD student — is based on her own experience with her own unnamed douche nugget, which is probably why it feels SO right.

2. This Is How You Lose Her by Junot Diaz

The lovelorn main character routinely screws over the women he’s dating, but you can’t help but like him a little bit, since he’s one of those inimitable Diaz protagonists. It’s snappy and fun to read, and the final story will remind you that men need to realize they’re assholes before they become non-assholes, which sometimes takes awhile.

3. Ethan Frome by Edith Wharton

A departure from Wharton’s normal New York society jam, this sad-as-hell stark and beautiful novella is about a man with a sickly wife living in a small town who falls for her pretty young caretaker. It does not end well. People have worse lives than you. Now go change out of those sweatpants, muchacha.

4. I Don’t Care About Your Band by Julie Klausner

I’ll let Ms. Klausner, a comedian and successful podcaster, sell this for you.

“As a kid, I took my cues from [Miss] Piggy, chasing every would-be Kermit in my vicinity with porcine voracity and what I thought was feminine charm. Remember how content Kermit was, just strumming his banjo on a tree trunk in the swamp? That's the guy I've chased my whole life, killing myself trying to show him how fabulous I am. Kermit never appreciated what he had in Piggy, because she was just one great thing about his awesome life. I wonder how many guys from my generation looked to Kermit as an example of what the coolest guy in the room looks like. How maybe they think it's fine to defer the advances of the fabulous women they know will always be there, while they dreamily pursue creative endeavors and dabble with other contenders.”

GAH, IT’S JUST SO GOOD.

5. Monica’s Story by Andrew Morton

Yes, that Monica. You might feel like it’s confusing that this book is on the list, but not only is it Scandal-level entertainment (and real life!), you also look back at the 1998 scandal in a totally different way than you might have. She was 22 and infatuated with a manipulative married man. Sure, he also happened to be the most powerful guy in the free world, but the story is more relatable than you might think. I felt stuff.

6. Dolores Claiborne by Stephen King

Not for the faint-hearted. A blue-collar housekeeper in a police station, being questioned about the murder of her longtime employer, an eccentric and wealthy elderly woman — and that’s just where it starts. The heart of Dolores’ story is the actions she takes when her drunk, abusive husband rapes their young daughter. It’s a chilling book but showcases the resilience of women, even those trapped in unbearable circumstances, in a really powerful way.

7. Winesburg, Ohio by Sherwood Anderson

Connected tales of a small town and its residents, who are mostly lonely and sexually repressed. Not as bleak as Ethan Frome, but similar deal, except the female characters are more human and complex.

8. The Position by Meg Wolitzer

This novel tracks a suburban family, whose mother and father published a Joy of Sex-style book of sex positions with paintings of themselves as the models, over a period of about 20 years. The book became a cult success, and their children (two girls and two boys) grow up in its shadow. It depicts adult relationships in a very realistic but still interesting, way — and the character of Holly, the older girl, is fascinating.

9. Random Family: Love, Drugs, Trouble and Coming of Age In The Bronx by Adrian Nicole LeBlanc

This sprawling reported nonfiction book is so absorbing that you'll forget about all your problems. LeBlanc, a journalist, captures the tiniest aspects of the lives of two teenage Puerto Rican girls as they grow up in a bad neighborhood, have kids young, and one ends up in prison for working as a mill girl for her flashy heroin-dealing boyfriend. (At the end of the book, they're in their late twenties and mid-thirties; LeBlanc spent 10 years basically living with their families.) But LeBlanc doesn't condescend to the women, nor does she criticize their choices. She simply observes and reports, and her dedication shows that she truly cares about breaking the cycle of poverty.

10. How Did You Get This Number by Sloane Crosley

Crosley is like your smartest, funniest female friend, who articulates all the delights and inconveniences about being a young, ambitious woman in a big city that you've always felt but never known how to explain it. The last essay, "Off the Back of a Truck," is about Crosley's relationship with a guy who secretly had another long-term girlfriend at the same time. The girlfriend eventually finds Crosley in the guy's phone (under "Doug") and calls her. It's really rough, and it articulates the steps of breakups in a way that will confirm you're not insane for wanting to smack everyone who asks, "How long were you dating?"

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Study: Booze Doesn't Give You a Case of the Sads After All

You might physically feel like complete a** the day after downing six too many mojitos, but drinking won't get you down mentally, according to new research out of Australia.

Looking at over 3,000 old dudes, and focusing on how certain genetic mutations might play a role in how people metabolize alcohol, clinical neuroscientists from The University of Western Australia debunked the long-held myth that alcohol causes depression.

"Because of the observational nature of the association between alcohol and depression, and the risk of confounding and bias that comes with observational studies, it is difficult to be entirely certain that the relationship is causal," lead researcher Professor Osvaldo Almeida said. "For example, people who drink too much may also smoke, have poor diets and other diseases that could explain the excess number of people with depression among heavy drinkers."

But while booze may not give you a permanent sad face, it's obviously still not good for you, warns nutritionist JJ Virgin, author of The Virgin Diet.

"Alcohol can do plenty of other damage, including putting fat burning on the backburner," she says. "Your liver perceives alcohol as a toxic substance, since it can potentially be fatal if you overdo it. So everything else — including fat metabolism — takes a backseat as your liver metabolizes that alcohol. Sugary alcohol drinks can also wreak havoc on your blood sugar balance, leading to hunger, cravings, and weight gain."

While Virgin doesn't recommend drinking from a health perspective, she advises being smart about your consumption by taking in two glasses of water for every cocktail and never drinking on an empty stomach. As for which drink to order, your best bets are indulging in a glass of pinot noir — which is full of anti-aging antioxidant resveratrol — or, oddly enough, taking a shot of tequila. 

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Photo: Getty

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Ryan Lochte's Reality Series Canceled by E! After One Season

Ryan Lochte's reality series has been axed after one season.

E!'s What Would Ryan Lochte Do? concluded its eight-episode run in May, averaging 440,000 viewers.

The series followed the Olympic swimmer while he trained for the 2016 Games, while also looking at his personal life.

An E! insider has told The Hollywood Reporter that the network still hope to work with the athlete for future projects.

Lochte was offered several reality TV show projects after his performance at the London 2012 Olympic Games, before he signed up for the E! show.

He has also appeared in guest roles in 30 Rock and 90210.

Back in May, Ryan Lochte told Digital Spy he tries to ignore his "haters" and that criticism of him "comes with the territory".

Photo: Getty Images

Via Digital Spy.

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Cosmo News: Lamar Odom Missing After Departure From Rehab

Yesterday, Lamar Odom checked into rehab to treat his crack cocaine addiction. But according to new reports, he's not only checked out today but has also gone missing. Wife Khloe Kardashian has no idea where he is. [Us Weekly]

Simon Cowell says he will not leave his fortune to his son, because he wants it all to go to charity. See you in the working world, Simon Cowell's son! [E! Online]

Mila Kunis was recently spotted wearing a band around her left ring finger. People were all, ZOMG is she engaged? (No.) Because God forbid famous women wear rings there for no romantic reason. [People]

Carrie Underwood fell on stage during a concert in Texas. Then she joked about it on Twitter. [Celebuzz]

Kanye West will go on tour for the first time in five years. He's calling it "Yeezus Tour," and starting in Seattle on October 19. Tickets go on sale on Sept. 13. [Gossip Cop]

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Photo: PacificCoastNews.com

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16 Things You Should Never Say Right After Sex

1. "The worst thing you can ever say or talk about to a guy after sex is mentioning anything remotely about, related to, or concerning his mother. It will deflate that mood in less than a nanosecond. Trust me, I'm guilty as charged." —Tanya T, 32

2. "'OK. You can leave now.' Kind of heartless. Also—bossy." —Amy Schoen, dating coach

3. "The morning after, I asked her if I was a good lover. She said I was 'definitely in the top 50!'" —Dan N, 32

4. "The worst thing a woman can say to a man after sex is, 'That was nice.' Sex isn't supposed to be 'nice'—it's sex. Anything short of 'wow' and a guy will think he didn't perform well." —Thomas Edwards, "The Professional Wingman" 

5. "I was in L.A. on a business trip. I met what I thought was my soulmate. Nuzzling up to her after our loving making session, basking in the glow of it, and I whispered in her ear, 'How was it for you?' She replied, 'Better than a root canal.'" —Jon D, 32

6. "Don't ask, 'We used a condom, right?' Women should know if they used a condom and most importantly you should always use a condom and never leave it up to him to decide. Also, don't ever say 'We need to talk'—I don’t care what it is you need to talk about, after sex is never the time to have one of 'those' talks." —Emily Morse, sexpert

7. "'We have to hurry, my boyfriend will be here soon.'" —Terri, 34

8. "Nothing. Saying nothing after sleeping with a new guy can lead you down the path of misunderstanding on anything from what works for you in bed to the status of your relationship. So whether you are feeling good, bad, or neutral about him (or the sex), be sincere, come from a place of good intention, and say something." —Erica Curtis, marriage and family therapist

9. "'That's not what I expected.' This line can be crushing because it hits at the core of a man's self-image." —William Cane, author of The Art of Kissing

10. "'If I were you, I would learn how to please a woman.'" —Kate, 26

11. "The worst thing a woman can say to a guy after sleeping with him is anything in comparison to anyone else she's been with. Guys don't want to hear any of that, good or bad. As a couple's therapist, I've seen this cause unnecessary fights and relationship trouble—keep your focus on him!" —Rachel Thomasian, marriage and family therapist

12. "'I love you.' This happened to me during my college years and made things very awkward since we just started seeing each other." —Chau N, 27

13. "Never say, 'I wish you could've lasted longer.' This will only add pressure, it won't solve the problem." —Adam LoDolce, dating expert

14. "I met this much younger, naïve guy after a breakup. He’d only had brief sexual encounters with two women previously. We started playing around and I simply started giving him a handjob. He exploded within seconds, and there was a lake of cum on his stomach, and I said without hesitation 'Wow…Don’t you ever play with yourself?'" —Jen, 35

15. "Do not fish for compliments on your sexual performance. It appears needy, which is a turn off for guys, and the last thing that a man wants to do after sex is try to appease your insecurities." —Nikki Ransom, Certified sex therapist

16. "This one’s easy: 'I love you but I’m not in love with you.' It’s a non-sensical and meaningless phrase which hurts, but doesn’t clarify anything. It also indicates that the sayer of it doesn’t have a clue what love is—not that anyone can define love for the rest of us." —Russell Friedman, author of Moving On: Dump Your Relationship Baggage and Make Room for the Love of Your Life

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Photo: HBO

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Cosmo News: Lamar Odom Missing After Departure From Rehab

Yesterday, Lamar Odom checked into rehab to treat his crack cocaine addiction. But according to new reports, he's not only checked out today but has also gone missing. Wife Khloe Kardashian has no idea where he is. [Us Weekly]

Simon Cowell says he will not leave his fortune to his son, because he wants it all to go to charity. See you in the working world, Simon Cowell's son! [E! Online]

Mila Kunis was recently spotted wearing a band around her left ring finger. People were all, ZOMG is she engaged? (No.) Because God forbid famous women wear rings there for no romantic reason. [People]

Carrie Underwood fell on stage during a concert in Texas. Then she joked about it on Twitter. [Celebuzz]

Kanye West will go on tour for the first time in five years. He's calling it "Yeezus Tour," and starting in Seattle on October 19. Tickets go on sale on Sept. 13. [Gossip Cop]

Want more from Dara? Follow her on Facebook and Twitter @dadeeyo.

Photo: PacificCoastNews.com

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Kate Middleton Looks Ridiculously Amazing One Month After Giving Birth

Yes, it's hardly news that Kate Middleton is absurdly gorgeous, and that even at her very-most-pregnant she never looked like she gained that much weight, and her recently-revealed family portraits with William and His Royal Highness Prince George Alexander Louis of Cambridge (I love saying that full name) showed off that she was looking fantastic, but even so. Even so!

Today marked the Duchess of Cambridge's first official appearance since giving birth just over a month ago, and she looks absolutely phenomenal. Slim! Trim! She's wearing black skinny jeans, for God's sake! With a forest green tailored Ralph Lauren blazer! She looks like a runway model! And it's been one month. Only one.

Sigh. I guess there's a reason that some people are royalty and the rest of us are mere mortals. Just look at the ladies in the background of this photo and their expressions. If you could assign a speech bubble to the brunette on the left, it would say, "I hate her so much because she's so pretty but I also love her because she's Kate Middleton. What does she eat? I'm literally obsessed with her." (Or something to that effect. I'm not psychic.)

Anyway, the two were in Holyhead, Wales, kicking off the Ring O'Fire Anglesey Coastal Ultra Marathon, and I don't know exactly what that is but it sounds pretty cool, and the tabloids are reporting that "the pounds are just falling off" her figure, so take solace in the fact that Kate Middleton's life is still really amazing and perfect. The End.

Photos via Getty Images

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16 Things You Should Never Say Right After Sex

1. "The worst thing you can ever say or talk about to a guy after sex is mentioning anything remotely about, related to, or concerning his mother. It will deflate that mood in less than a nanosecond. Trust me, I'm guilty as charged." —Tanya T, 32

2. "'OK. You can leave now.' Kind of heartless. Also—bossy." —Amy Schoen, dating coach

3. "The morning after, I asked her if I was a good lover. She said I was 'definitely in the top 50!'" —Dan N, 32

4. "The worst thing a woman can say to a man after sex is, 'That was nice.' Sex isn't supposed to be 'nice'—it's sex. Anything short of 'wow' and a guy will think he didn't perform well." —Thomas Edwards, "The Professional Wingman" 

5. "I was in L.A. on a business trip. I met what I thought was my soulmate. Nuzzling up to her after our loving making session, basking in the glow of it, and I whispered in her ear, 'How was it for you?' She replied, 'Better than a root canal.'" —Jon D, 32

6. "Don't ask, 'We used a condom, right?' Women should know if they used a condom and most importantly you should always use a condom and never leave it up to him to decide. Also, don't ever say 'We need to talk'—I don’t care what it is you need to talk about, after sex is never the time to have one of 'those' talks." —Emily Morse, sexpert

7. "'We have to hurry, my boyfriend will be here soon.'" —Terri, 34

8. "Nothing. Saying nothing after sleeping with a new guy can lead you down the path of misunderstanding on anything from what works for you in bed to the status of your relationship. So whether you are feeling good, bad, or neutral about him (or the sex), be sincere, come from a place of good intention, and say something." —Erica Curtis, marriage and family therapist

9. "'That's not what I expected.' This line can be crushing because it hits at the core of a man's self-image." —William Cane, author of The Art of Kissing

10. "'If I were you, I would learn how to please a woman.'" —Kate, 26

11. "The worst thing a woman can say to a guy after sleeping with him is anything in comparison to anyone else she's been with. Guys don't want to hear any of that, good or bad. As a couple's therapist, I've seen this cause unnecessary fights and relationship trouble—keep your focus on him!" —Rachel Thomasian, marriage and family therapist

12. "'I love you.' This happened to me during my college years and made things very awkward since we just started seeing each other." —Chau N, 27

13. "Never say, 'I wish you could've lasted longer.' This will only add pressure, it won't solve the problem." —Adam LoDolce, dating expert

14. "I met this much younger, naïve guy after a breakup. He’d only had brief sexual encounters with two women previously. We started playing around and I simply started giving him a handjob. He exploded within seconds, and there was a lake of cum on his stomach, and I said without hesitation 'Wow…Don’t you ever play with yourself?'" —Jen, 35

15. "Do not fish for compliments on your sexual performance. It appears needy, which is a turn off for guys, and the last thing that a man wants to do after sex is try to appease your insecurities." —Nikki Ransom, Certified sex therapist

16. "This one’s easy: 'I love you but I’m not in love with you.' It’s a non-sensical and meaningless phrase which hurts, but doesn’t clarify anything. It also indicates that the sayer of it doesn’t have a clue what love is—not that anyone can define love for the rest of us." —Russell Friedman, author of Moving On: Dump Your Relationship Baggage and Make Room for the Love of Your Life

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Photo: HBO

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Lindsay Lohan Is Doing Really Well, So Maybe There's Still Hope After All

Say goodbye to the Lindsay Lohan of yore, and meet the new Lindsay: Not only is she sober (!), but she shows up to work on time (!!) and delivers performances so impressive that the cast and crew have no choice but to give her a standing ovation (!!!). Is this real life?

Yes, apparently it is: TMZ reports that Lindsay Lohan has wrapped filming of her cameo on HBO's Eastbound & Down (off the heels of last week's excellent appearance on Chelsea Lately), where she reportedly made quite the impression: She "didn't just conduct herself professionally while on set this week in North Carolina — showing up on time and memorizing her lines backwards and forwards — she was actually funny too." 

Better still? That standing ovation from the cast and crew and a hug from show co-creator Jody Hill, who reportedly thanked her for kicking ass on set. 

Credit Lindsay's new, post-rehab lease on life (and the fact that she's living and traveling with a sober coach) with turning things around. Whatever happened in that last rehab (witch magic, miracles, divine intervention) seems to have actually imparted a real change. She's always been a compelling actress and gifted comedienne. Now she just has to keep it up — and try to get back to a place where the fact that she does her job and looks good isn't its own news story.

Photo via FilmMagic

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Woman Checks Smoke Alarm After Reading <i>Cosmo</i> and Discovers Her Landlord's Hidden Camera

Welcome to Every Woman's Nightmareville.

Dennis Alan Van Dusen, a landlord in Chevy Chase, Maryland, has pled guilty to spying on three of his female tenants having sex with their boyfriends via hidden cameras he'd installed in their smoke detectors. The peeping, which he also copped to recording through a window, went on from 2011 to 2012. He pled guilty to three misdemeanor charges and faces 18 months of jail time. Gross me out.

Unfortunately, as most of us are now aware, there have been many precedents for this kind of crime: from "bathroom cams" (like the kind this pastor installed in his church restrooms) to similar cases of creepy Peeping Tom landlords from Iowa to East Hampton. Moral: Unfortunately, if you're a renter and a lady, you can never be too careful.

Not to give ourselves too much credit here, but we had a part in getting Van Dusen busted. One of his female tenants had read about such a case in Cosmo and was inspired to check the smoke detector, according to HuffPo. Sure enough, she found a small green hard drive inside and reported Van Dusen to the police immediately.

One cause for possible suspicion: Van Dusen charged way below-market rents on his property, under $600, for an upscale Chevy Chase neighborhood whose average rent is around $2,000. So anyone reading this who thinks they've got a real-estate steal... well, maybe you should check your smoke alarm. Just to be safe.

To read the original Cosmo story that helped bust Van Dusen, click here.

Follow Anna on Twitter: @annabreslaw

Image via police handout

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Goodbye, Charlie: <i>Girls's</i> Christopher Abbott Exits After "Creative Conflicts" With Lena Dunham

Awwwww, shucks, guys. Just as we were beginning to discover dark horse Charlie's sex appeal on Girls, the actor Christopher Abbott has "abruptly" defected from Lena Dunham's HBO show after a conflict with Dunham over Season Three plot points.

While we all knew that Marnie and Charlie's reunion in the finale of Season Two probably wouldn't last too long before she became tired of him again, who knows what's to become of them now that we know that Charlie's departing so soon?

A source tells Page Six: “They’ve just started work on Season Three, and Chris is at odds with Lena. He didn’t like the direction things are going in, which seems a bit odd since the show put him on the map."

Abbott's rep confirms, albeit in a slightly more gracious tone: "[Chris] is grateful for the experience of collaborating with Lena, Judd [Apatow], and the entire Girls cast and crew, but right now he’s working on numerous other projects and has decided not to return to the show."

I'll admit, I don't know how many more rounds of emotional abuse I could have watched Marnie inflict on poor Charlie, who had finally found success (and a sharp new wardrobe) with an iPhone app called "Forbid," inspired by his toxic on-and-off relationship with her.

While he seemed totally committed to playing Charlie in both his sad-sack and start-up businessman incarnations, Abbott did show some dissatisfaction with his part. During the production of Season Two, he told Vulture point-blank: "If there was another character I could play on the show, which I think is impossible, I think I would."

Now, as it stands, we're left with Ray and Adam as the resident guys on Girls... and in my opinion, while Adam's also popular with the ladies, Charlie was the real heartthrob. Even his Season One tender-sex wimpiness and deference to Marnie, in the midst of the rest of the characters' dickishness (both the guys and the Girls alike), while a little sappy, was kinda sweet. It was a nice change of pace that at least one of these dudes doesn't seem morally vacuous.

More importantly, what's in store for Marnie after Charlie leaves for good? The return of Booth Jonathan, perhaps? Or will we get some fresh meat?

Follow Anna on Twitter: @annabreslaw

Photo via HBO

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The Morning After Sex: Should You Stay or Should</br> You Go?

I am such a stayer. Mainly because I'm not a morning person. I will stay and sleep in when they go to work. Once, I stayed all day because the guy was at meetings, then he came back early and caught me still there! If I actually like a guy, I'll leave so I look cool, but when I don't care what he thinks, I stay. —Sarah K., 26

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The Morning After Sex: Should You Stay or Should</br> You Go?

I am such a stayer. Mainly because I'm not a morning person. I will stay and sleep in when they go to work. Once, I stayed all day because the guy was at meetings, then he came back early and caught me still there! If I actually like a guy, I'll leave so I look cool, but when I don't care what he thinks, I stay. —Sarah K., 26

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What To Do Immediately After You Catch Him Cheating

After you've caught him cheating—or he confessed—you're going to be in shock. Trust in him and trust of yourself is in question, and your self-esteem is crushed. The first thing you need to do is try to take a step back and give yourself a whopping dose of self-care. Sleep well, eat well, and exercise—being active will counteract the sadness you feel by boosting your endorphins.

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What To Do Immediately After You Catch Him Cheating

After you've caught him cheating—or he confessed—you're going to be in shock. Trust in him and trust of yourself is in question, and your self-esteem is crushed. The first thing you need to do is try to take a step back and give yourself a whopping dose of self-care. Sleep well, eat well, and exercise—being active will counteract the sadness you feel by boosting your endorphins.

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How to Deal After You Call Off Your Wedding

One of the cutest couples in Hollywood, Canadian actors Jay Baruchel and Alison Pill called off their engagement, which is super duper sad. (Though, we think it's better to call it quits now than get divorced later like so many celebs do.)

There must be few things harder than having to call up all your pals (and your parents) to tell them that you're not in fact getting married after all. And for celebs, you have to announce the news to basically the whole world, which can't be easy.

Breakups in general totally suck, but calling off your engagement must be majorly heart-wrenching.

To start the process of moving forward, relationship expert Wendy Walsh, author of the upcoming book The 30-Day Love Detox, says that making a clean break from a former fiancé is for the best (albeit really hard to do).

"Do not re-injure yourself by Facebook stalking or being exposed to any of his social networks or any of his close friends in the real world," she says. "That means defriend him, stop following him on Twitter, and turn down the social invitations from friends you know would be talking about him or inviting him to the same events as you."

The other important thing to do, Walsh says, is take really good care of yourself. "Even when you do the breaking up, you will experience feelings of loss," she says. "Surround yourself with trusted friends and family—these people will remind you how lovable you are and their attention will bolster you during the grieving period. Eat right, get good rest and go to the gym – there will be time for new love another day—when you’re whole again."

Hang in there, Alison (and you, too, Jay).

Want more from Natasha? Follow her on Twitter or find her on Facebook.

Photo: Getty Images

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