The 14 Stages of Missing Your Significant Other

Every couple follows the same arc when one of them has to go away for a while. How will the two of you ever survive apart? You can kill five minutes by reading this article. After that, you’re on your own again.

-3 Hours
The two of you lie quietly cuddling in the dark. If anyone else could see you, they’d never let you live down how sad and pathetic you look. It’s like the raft scene in Titanic except instead of one of you sinking to the bottom of the ocean forever, they’re just going to Iowa for a week.

-2 Hours
You make a very serious pact to talk every day, but fate is like, “lol no.”

0: The actual goodbye
You share several actual romantic goodbyes, before one of you just awkwardly leaves mid-sentence because you realize otherwise you’ll never say goodbye.

+1 Hour
You both have a sad car/plane/train ride home, only listening to really sad songs, or maybe even just silence, staring off wistfully into the night. You’ve heard “Adore You” dozens of times, but this time you really get it.

+1 Day
Oh, you think this is going to be easy? Because you had one fun night out with your friends? YOU ARE WRONG. The loneliness is going to crush you, just give it time.

+2 Days
You decide you’re going to do something constructive with all the free time you’re spending not hanging out with your S.O. Maybe you’ll learn guitar, or knitting. You’ll exercise more and when they get back you'll be so toned! You'll spend quality time with your friends. There's no limit to your productivity.

+2.5 Days
You realize you aren’t going to do any of those things. You are, however, going to sit on the couch and eat so much pudding you have to make your roommate swear they will never tell anyone how many pudding cups are in the garbage. But hey, it's nice to do nothing sometimes. You deserve it!

+3 Days
THIS IS THE WORST. At some point, it sinks in that you’re not going to see your S.O. for days or even weeks. Don’t let your co-workers see that single tear roll down your cheek while you hit replay on Death Cab for Cutie’s “Transatlantacism” for the 357th time.

+4 Days
You start thinking about all the times they’ve pissed you off. You can’t miss someone you want to punch in the face. But no, you can't stay mad. Aw, remember how cute they are when they're mad?

+5 Days
You are dead inside. Nothing can hurt you, not even Starbucks running out of the sausage breakfast sandwiches before you get there.

+6 Days
You both finally get to talk on the phone and catch up, and it feels really great. Also, they’re coming home tomorrow, so now you have nothing to talk about when you see them. Great job.

+7 Days
You find excuses to tell everyone you know that your S.O. is coming home today. The pizza delivery guy outside your building doesn’t care what time the plane lands.

The reunion
You spend hours gazing into each other’s eyes and catching up. Just kidding. But you do bone a bunch.

Beyond
You promise to never be away from each other again, until the next time the two of you are away from each other again. You wonder if you’ll ever have time to learn the guitar or knit.

Photo Credit: Getty

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Cosmo News: Lamar Odom Missing After Departure From Rehab

Yesterday, Lamar Odom checked into rehab to treat his crack cocaine addiction. But according to new reports, he's not only checked out today but has also gone missing. Wife Khloe Kardashian has no idea where he is. [Us Weekly]

Simon Cowell says he will not leave his fortune to his son, because he wants it all to go to charity. See you in the working world, Simon Cowell's son! [E! Online]

Mila Kunis was recently spotted wearing a band around her left ring finger. People were all, ZOMG is she engaged? (No.) Because God forbid famous women wear rings there for no romantic reason. [People]

Carrie Underwood fell on stage during a concert in Texas. Then she joked about it on Twitter. [Celebuzz]

Kanye West will go on tour for the first time in five years. He's calling it "Yeezus Tour," and starting in Seattle on October 19. Tickets go on sale on Sept. 13. [Gossip Cop]

Want more from Dara? Follow her on Facebook and Twitter @dadeeyo.

Photo: PacificCoastNews.com

From Cosmopolitan.com. Visit Handbags reviews and advice for best reference here

Cosmo News: Lamar Odom Missing After Departure From Rehab

Yesterday, Lamar Odom checked into rehab to treat his crack cocaine addiction. But according to new reports, he's not only checked out today but has also gone missing. Wife Khloe Kardashian has no idea where he is. [Us Weekly]

Simon Cowell says he will not leave his fortune to his son, because he wants it all to go to charity. See you in the working world, Simon Cowell's son! [E! Online]

Mila Kunis was recently spotted wearing a band around her left ring finger. People were all, ZOMG is she engaged? (No.) Because God forbid famous women wear rings there for no romantic reason. [People]

Carrie Underwood fell on stage during a concert in Texas. Then she joked about it on Twitter. [Celebuzz]

Kanye West will go on tour for the first time in five years. He's calling it "Yeezus Tour," and starting in Seattle on October 19. Tickets go on sale on Sept. 13. [Gossip Cop]

Want more from Dara? Follow her on Facebook and Twitter @dadeeyo.

Photo: PacificCoastNews.com

From Cosmopolitan.com. Visit Handbags reviews and advice for best reference here

Antidepressants and the Case of the Missing Orgasm

Jenna, a petite and pretty 29-year-old, always considered herself charmed when it came to sex. Whereas many women find it challenging to orgasm even once through penetration, Jenna was racking up two—sometimes even three—orgasms a session. Damn, Gina! She had a healthy libido, confidence to spare, and very few hangups. When it came to coming, she was killing it.  All of that changed, however, when she started taking the antidepressant Celexa two years ago.  

Suddenly she found herself barely able to climax. And if she did by some miracle, it would be weak. Although thrilled that the medication took away her symptoms of depression, she was devastated to realize her orgasms went along with them.  Stuck between a rock and a dry place, Jenna had to make a choice: mental health or sexual health?

The most popular antidepressants prescribed now are known as Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRI’s) and are well-documented for having potential sexual side effects including lower sex drive and absent or delayed orgasm. The irony is that pills that make you happier can also crush your sex drive. What gives? With one in ten Americans over the age of 12 now taking antidepressants, according to the Centers for Disease Control, the issue of compromised sexual response is more relevant than ever. And yet, since it’s so deeply personal, people rarely talk about it.

“At least half of the patients that I treat with SSRIs complain of sexual side effects. That's a lot,” Dr. Jennifer Markus, a licensed psychiatrist in New York, tells Cosmopolitan.com. “Part of the illness of depression is that your sex drive is low anyway. It’s part of what you’ve already been suffering from, and here you give them a med that either makes it worse or is neutral. It’s very frustrating.”  

On the flip side, because antidepressants are so well-known for delaying orgasms, Dr. Markus says that “sometimes if a man has a problem with premature ejaculation, urologists will put them on SSRIs to help with it.” (Ladies, if you are dating a minute man, this could be the best news you’ve read all day.)

Katy, 31, was on Lexapro for five years and in that time she says, “orgasming with anything other than a power tool during masturbation was impossible. The only time I would climax quickly was when I missed a dose. Sure, upon missing a dose, I cried all day and hated my life, but man did I have amazing orgasms."

Eventually, Katy decided to switch to a different drug and now enjoys a much more balanced sex life.  

Jenna also decided to get off of her SSRI seven months ago.  

“The insane burst of crazy orgasms that I had after I went off Celexa, and the subsequent recovery of my sexual response have contributed to my desire to stay off SSRIs,” she said. “This may sound silly, but when I'm really low and considering taking them again, I think about giving up my orgasms and somehow that seems worse than dealing with my extreme emotional highs and lows.”

Obviously the decision to get off or switch medication is not right for everyone. For many people, it is much healthier and safer to stay on medications and find other ways of coping with the sexual piece. There are countless ways to counteract lower levels of libido from natural remedies like exercise to bringing more eroticism into your life.  

“Even if you take a little bit longer, you can still get really excited and really turned on and enjoy yourself.  I try and educate patients to the importance of the erotic turn-ons which are more about your mind,” certified sex therapist Sari Cooper, who works with patients on SSRIs, tells us. “An erotic turn-on would be if your lover plans a special surprise date and takes you somewhere you’ve never been before and it has a little anxiety, maybe a little danger, built into it.”  

Other things patients have done to jazz up their sex life is to take a “drug holiday.”  If you know you are going to have sex on the weekend, for example, you can skip your pill on Saturday.  

“Missing Pristiq (an SSRI) doses sends my clitoris into a tailspin of desire, where my office swivel chair becomes Jon Hamm,” Katy quipped. “But really, I don't think I need to be this horny all the time.”

The point is that there is a middle ground, and you shouldn’t have to choose between feeling happy or feeling horny.  You can be your totally randy, sex-crazed self and still find joy in life.  Who would want anything less?

Photo Credit: Getty Images

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