11 Utterly Weird Moments From <i>The Bachelor</i>: Week 8

1. Meal That Should By All Rights Be Gross But Is Probably Amazing
Kansas City BBQ! No, but really, I’d sell my niece on the black market for a plate of those gas station barbeque ribs Nikki and Juan Pablo get to eat.

2. First Person To Drop The L Bomb
“I am totally in love with Juan Pablo,” says Nikki. “And I want to tell him… [but it’s] not right yet.” I guess being filmed at a seedy Kansas City bar riding a mechanical bull together on a super-rigged dating show doesn’t feel like the opportune moment to use the same word that Lord Byron would use in romantic poetry? But why not?

3. Most Likely To Have A Shotgun Under His Bed
Nikki’s dad is terrifying, vaguely George W. Bush-ish, and speaks solely in restaurant chain platitudes. “When you sit down at this table, you’re part of the family.” Nikki lives at the Olive Garden, you guys. She hides under a table and occasionally throws breadsticks at other blonde women who intimidate her. And Juan Pablo salsas with her mom because dance is the international language. (Actually, it's Esperanto, but whatever.)

4. Most Reminiscent Of Teen Dating
After being baptized by fire hanging with Nikki’s family, she and Juan Pablo escape from her parents and make out outside the house. Don’t you guys know you can have her mom drive you to the 7:20 p.m. showing of Frozen at Regal and you can make out in the back row?

5. Most Severe Ombré Hair
Andi! Jesus Christ. I think there’s supposed to be a slight fadeout in there, or at least not look like you just dunked your head in fresh sidewalk tar.

6. Most Absurd Standard For A Guy
At the shooting range, Andi clarifies that she is looking for someone who likes piña colada, getting caught in the rain, is not into yoga, and could kill another human being with a single bullet. "I wouldn’t take him home if he didn’t shoot a bullseye," she says. I guess I kind of understand it, because I wouldn’t take a guy home if he hadn’t had at least five racist thoughts in the last hour. #dealbreaker

7. Most Pragmatic Family Member
Andi’s dad is the only one who seems to realize that his daughter’s in a harem of women who are competing for a man’s attention as America watches. He also gives Juan Pablo some decent advice: It’s not just about choosing the most Stepford Wife-y contestant who can be a good stepmom to Camila. It’s about who JP has a connection with who will also be a good stepmom to Camila. Too bad Victoria’s gone, she would have been perfect for all of the above.

8. Most Adorable Thing You Could Say About Missing Your Kid
"I’m literally going to eat my son,” says Renee when she and Juan Pablo are about to attend her son Ben’s Little League game. She had been away from him for two months. Awww, Renee.

9. The Moment We All Suddenly Understood Clare
It turns out that Clare's crazy is just one meal from a massive franchise of McCrazy. https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-LaFHXikDXVM/Uwy_GuHZjQI/AAAAAAAAAuw/WMOXCiU7Tp0/s512-no/sisters.gif Clare has a mom who barely speaks to her and 7,000 older sisters who emotionally abuse the crap out of her. Also: They look nothing like her. They all sort of look like a middle-aged secretary who bitchily informs you that they don’t take your insurance. Oh, and her dad died, but not without leaving her with a totally wrenching story about having “moments to remember” (like dancing with her for her future father-daughter wedding dance). This has totally reversed my feelings about Clare — she must have had a really rough time in that house, whereas Nikki basically seems like she was spoiled all her life.

10. Most Subtle Slut-Shaming
“So you went swimming and then you went back in the ocean again?” asked one Clare’s sisters. Shut up, Awful Insurance Secretary #52. This is the same sister who eventually lurks in the shadows like a bird of prey while Clare tries to have a private heart-to-heart with her mom about Juan Pablo. Eventually, Clare’s mom and JP end up chatting in Spanish, thereby making Clare’s mom the only person who really knows if JP is smarter in his native language. (I’m guessing not.)

11. Best Metaphor
Juan Pablo at the rose ceremony: “You guys opened up your houses for me.” Yeah. Houses. Their houses, and definitely not anything else.

Eliminated: Renee, who’s better than him anyway. I want the rest of her life to mimic Renee Zellweger’s in Jerry Maguire.

Previously:
20 Completely Bizarre Moments From The Bachelor: Week 6
13 Completely Bizarre Moments From The Bachelor: Week 7
15 Completely Bizarre Moments From The Bachelor: Week 5
16 Insane Moments From The Bachelor: Week 4
13 Insane Moments From The Bachelor: Week 3
14 Insane Moments From The Bachelor: Week 2
11 Insane Moments From The Bachelor Premiere
The Bachelor: Countdown To Juan Pablo Recap

Follow Anna on Twitter.

Photo Credit: ABC

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I Tried Weird Period Products So You Don’t Have To

I’ve been surfing the crimson wave since I was 9 years old (really. NO REALLY) so I’ve tried just about every period product out there — starting with maxi pads the size of a five-subject notebook. Necessity became the mother of my period experimentation. Any given month, a shortage of pads or tampons would leave me holding some strange, reusable product at the pharmacy and wondering, "What if I never had to buy tampons or pads againt?" So, for your information and reading pleasure (or just to distract from the cramps), a summary of my adventures in reusable period products:

The Soft Cup

This lady device looks like a pink jelly bracelet with a little pouch. There’s a reusable one that lasts your whole cycle and a disposable one that you toss out after 12 hours. Gotta love choices. Since I use the Nuvaring for my birth control, this ring didn’t seem too intimidating, but after my first failed attempt, I ended up watching the tutorial to get a better sense of what the heck to do. After I figured out exactly how to get it in, the Soft Cup felt comfortable. Best of all — no leaks — way better than those supposedly SUPER HEAVY tampons (There’s nothing super about you, tampon). Like I said, it can stay in for 12 hours, then I just rinsed it with soap and hot water and reinserted. And if you hate when your period cock blocks you, you can even have sex while wearing the Soft Cup. Bonus.
Price: $8
Grade: A-. What it lacks in ease of use it makes up for in being able to have clean sex on your period.

The Moon Cup

When I first saw this clear silicone cup, I thought to myself, "How is that going inside of me?" You’re supposed to fold it into a C-shape, pop it in, and leave it for 12 hours. There’s a trim-able stem at the bottom that’s like the string at the end of a tampon. I had no problem inserting it. Great! But then I had to remove it. The instructions say to gently pull on the stem and then pinch the bottom of the cup with your thumb and forefinger. (You need to pinch to release the suction of the cup. DON’T BE SCARED. GO WITH ME.) Of course, I did the exact opposite thing and yanked on the stem repeatedly. Nothing. Then panic set in when I thought I’ll never getting this out or have sex again. The thought of a celibate life motivated me to calm the eff down and try again. I took a few yogic breaths and pressed down with my pelvic muscles, tilted myself downwards, and pinched the bottom. Success! I used a pantyliner in case there are any leaks, but there weren't. Not one red dot. Plus, I like the set-it-and-forget method of leaving it in for 12 hours because I’m lazy.
Price: $35
Grade: A, after momentary panic attack. Less leaks and less commitment than tampons.

GladRags

Don’t you hate when guys in high school used to say to you, “What’s wrong with you? Are you on the rag?” WHY YES I AM. Don’t mess with me or I’ll do this. 

Seriously, guys, just leave us alone.

GladRags are cotton pads that you wash and reuse. They come in pretty colors and fabrics. Mine literally had a bird on it. The basic gist is that you wear it, wash it, and use it again. They come in pantyliners, day pads, and night pads. The day and night pads have removable liners that fit into a cotton envelope so you can make it as thick or thin as you need. Pile on the liners if you just want to sit in front of your TV/laptop, binge watching Orange Is the New Black with a pint of chocolate ice cream dotted with chocolate chips covered in chocolate. I used mine as pantyliners when I wore the Moon Cup. GladRags were totally easy to hand wash and dry. I did wash a pad with red roses on it for a while, thinking, "Why aren’t these stains coming out?" so, um, maybe don't get the ones with red patterns. But the main thing I loved was the no-itch factor. You know what I’m talking about. You’re in a nice restaurant and you’re trying not to itch your vag because that stupid pad is all up in your business. With the cotton liners, there’s no itch. I barely even felt it. And they’re so pretty.
Price: $15 to $20
Grade: B. Comfortable and cute, but a tiny bit gross as a full pad.

The final verdict: I’m a convert. Really. Actually. I'm going to use these things. I’ll be using the Moon Cup as my regular monthly with a GladRag pantyliner, and the Soft Cup if I want to get frisky. This is not an exaggeration.

Jennifer Chen is a freelance writer who lives in Los Angeles.

Follow Jennifer on Twitter.

Photo credit: NBC

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12 Completely Weird Moments From <i>The Bachelor</i>: Week 8, Part 2

1. Best Metaphor
“Falling in love is scary,” says Clare just before she and Juan Pablo literally take the plunge into the ocean. However, unlike the last time they swam together, they are actually swimming this time and not just having sex in water.

2. Most Understandable Reason Not To Have Sex With Someone
Clare is still super hesitant about the fantasy suite because he totally slut-shamed her last time they had sex. Which they’re still referring to as “swimming in the ocean.” Juan Pablo might have felt like like he’s sheltering Camila, but 15 years after her first swimming lessons at day camp, he’s gonna get stuck with a lotttt of therapy bills.

3. Most Arbitrary Daughter-Concern-Trolling
So “swimming in the ocean” is not something Camila should see, but man/woman sleepovers in something called the Fantasy Suite is totally cool? Just more proof that JP plays the daughter card to his (obnoxious) advantage.

4. Best Way To Set The Scene For Erectile Dysfunction
Have Chris Harrison facilitate your overly-regimented Night Of Sex like a pimp. The TV network that is making you have sex with this person has given you a gorgeous room decked out with a California King Bed with rose petals scattered over it by a bored USC intern, oh and by the way, America is watching. Go ahead. Try to get your dick hard.

5. Best Thing Juan Pablo Says There’s Nothing Wrong With
“There’s nothing wrong with thinking,” says Juan Pablo. Lolololol.

6. Best New Euphemism For Sex
A beaming Juan Pablo emerges from Andi Fantasy Suite Night. “We talked and laughed for hours. Hours. Houuuurs.” “Swimming” is soooo over.

7. First Woman To Do An Emotional 180 And Call Juan Pablo Out On Being A Dickface
Whoa, Andi! While JP is gloating over his successful Andi overnighter, Andi is wandering through the wilds of St. Lucia, shaking her head and wondering why she ever wanted to spent her whole life with this Livestrong bracelet-wearing dickhole. “There’s just no filter with him. He thinks he can say whatever he wants to say and we’ll laugh and fall in love with him… but it gets to the point where it’s not funny and it’s offensive.”

8. Worst Outfit Of The Entire Season So Far
Nikki. Your fringe. Oh my God. Has Free Spirit Lucy possessed you? Did you dig my 7th grade “hippie” costume out of history’s garbage?

9. Biggest Lie Juan Pablo Has Ever Told
As Andi shares her concerns, mentioning that she’d been reconsidering a lot of things about JP since Vietnam, he nods like he understands. “I think a lot.”

10. Juan Pablo Word Of The Day
Andi insists that he mentioned that she was just there by “default.” Juan Pablo insists that he doesn’t even know what “default” means. I kind of believe Juan Pablo.

11. Best Edit
Andi, rumored to be the next Bachelorette, pimps off into the horizon after she realizes that JP is little more than an unjustly arrogant, condescending set of abs.

12. Best Thing To Say During An “I Gave Things Up To Be Here Too, You Know!” Argument
While unlike JP, Andi does not have a kid, she yells that she left a full and vibrant life behind to go on the show. For instance, she says indignantly, “I missed weddings.” I will now apply to be on The Bachelor just so I can get out of buying the crappiest things on The Knot registries of couples I don’t really like.

Eliminated: Andi leaves, presumably to be the next Bachelorette.

Previously:
20 Completely Bizarre Moments From The Bachelor: Week 6
13 Completely Bizarre Moments From The Bachelor: Week 7
15 Completely Bizarre Moments From The Bachelor: Week 5
16 Insane Moments From The Bachelor: Week 4
13 Insane Moments From The Bachelor: Week 3
14 Insane Moments From The Bachelor: Week 2
11 Insane Moments From The Bachelor Premiere
The Bachelor: Countdown To Juan Pablo Recap

Follow Anna on Twitter.

Photo Credit: ABC

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Weird Things That Can Harm Your Fertility…And Stuff That Really Doesn't

Chlamydia is rampant, and if left untreated, it (and less-common gonorrhea) can lead to pelvic inflammatory disease, which scars the fallopian tubes so your eggs can't get to the uterus. Docs in Canada have also seen superbug gonorrhea that many antibiotics can't cure—gulp. Ask your guy to be tested for all STDs before going latex-free.

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14 Weird Reasons Why You're Having Painful Sex

If his anaconda feels like it’s tearing you, the first thing to do is spend lots of time on foreplay. The more turned on you are, the more relaxed your muscles become—plus your vagina expands when you’re aroused. Have your guy gently massage the sides and base of your vagina, using downward pressure (avoid the top of your V-zone). When he does enter you, use lube and go sloooow. Since the most sensitive area is the rim of the vagina, stick to a rocking motion instead of thrusting. Another thing you can try to get accustomed to his bulge? Every other day, insert a vibrator for 15 minutes. Lelo makes vibes in a variety of sizes so you can choose one that’s right for you.

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10 Weird Things You Never Knew About Orgasm

Did you know that a woman was able to orgasm just by having her eyebrow stroked? Or that some pig farmers use vibrators on their female animals for better breeding?

All of this delightful information is brought to light by best-selling science author Mary Roach in her famous Ted Talk, "Ten Things You Didn’t Know About Orgasm."

In compiling research for her award-winning book Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex, she learned all kinds of amazing things. Read on and check out the video to find out what they are...

1. A fetus can masturbate in utero. It's been documented by radiologists.

2. You Don’t Need Genitals. Since orgasm is a reflex of your nervous system, it can be triggered on parts outside the gonads—like, for example, the knee. According to a case report, one woman had an orgasm every time she brushed her teeth. The woman was so confused that she thought she was possessed by demons and decided to stop brushing her teeth and switched to mouthwash instead! Tsk, tsk, what a shame.

3. You Can "O" When You’re (Legally) Dead. The headquarters for orgasm is along the spinal nerve, something called the sacral nerve root. If you stimulate that area with an electrode on the precise spot, you will trigger an orgasm. You can spark spinal reflexes in legally dead people (who may be brain dead but having beating hearts.)

4. Orgasm can cause bad breath. An hour after sex, "a slight seminal odor" can be detected on the breath of a woman, according to so-called semen connoisseur Theodore van de Velde.

5. Orgasm can cure hiccups. There have been actual articles on the topic, suggesting "unattached hiccuppers can try masturbation".

6. Doctors once prescribed orgasm for fertility. In the early 1900's, gynos believed the contractions of on orgasm could "suck" semen up the vagina to fertilize the egg. Truth: It was called the "upsuck theory."

7. Pig farmers still do. Farmers will sometimes sexually stimulate and massage pig’s vaginas while they shoot them up with sperm because it increases the chances of successful breeding.

8. Female animals are having more fun than you think. Pig farmers also use vibrating inseminators. Holla!

9. There was an instrument developed in lab studies— a camera attached to a phallus—to study what happens inside a woman’s vagina when she climaxes. Sadly, the device has since been mismantled.

10. Dr. Alfred Kinsey conducted an experiment in which he lined men up next to each other and had them ejaculate in order to study how far semen can shoot. The winner was 8 feet!

Photo Credit: istockphoto

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Weird New App: Bang With Friends

Korin Miller
Korin is the site director for Cosmopolitan.com. She loves uncovering cool new research and learning more about what makes guys tick. Outside the Cosmo office, you can find her running with her dog, trying to convince friends to go to karaoke bars, and watching as much reality TV as humanly possible. Hit her up on Twitter: @korinmiller
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Michelle Ruiz
Michelle is the news editor for Cosmopolitan.com. She's obsessed with interviewing celebrities and spotting the latest pop culture trends. Her life highlights include chatting with Ryan Gosling about sex dolls, dancing on stage at the Oprah show, and shopping with her mom on Long Island. Tweet her: @michelleruiz
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Dara Adeeyo
Dara is the associate web editor for Cosmopolitan.com. She's intrigued by all things digital. Dara loves playing with html and discovering new studies. When she's not reading up on the latest cocktail recipes (for work, of course), she can be found breaking it down on the dance floor or watching the Investigative Discovery channel. She also has a sick obsession with nail polish, elephants, and most importantly, Nutella. Dara basically lives on Twitter, so tweet at her and say hey: @dadeeyo.
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Elisa Benson
Elisa Benson is the senior editor of social media for @Cosmopolitan?so, yes, she tweets about sex for a living. Elisa grew up in Ohio, attended Colgate University, and wrote love and relationship advice for Seventeen before graduating to Cosmo. She lives for girly things (weddings and eyelash extensions and Pretty Little Liars?) and frequently tweets about all of the above: @elisabenson.
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6 Weird Things That Affect Your Relationship

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The Weird Predictor of Whether You'll Get Married

File this under random: New research claims that when you had sex for the first time is a predictor of how likely you are to get hitched.

Scientists at the University of Texas at Austin analyzed the sexual habits of 1,659 people aged 16 to 29, and broke them into groups: Those who had sex at an early age (younger than 15 years old), on time (15 to 19), and late (older than 19).

Researchers discovered that people who traded in their V-cards later in life had a higher education and a higher income when they were adults than people in the other two groups. But they were also less likely to be married and dated less as adults than the other groups.

The people who were in the later group who got married also had lower levels of relationship satisfaction.

Um, what? Scientists think a few things could be at play: People who waited longer to have sex might be pickier and might not have as much to compare their partners with since they haven't dated as much (and then might not know how good they have it).

Of course, plenty of people who waited to have sex have happy relationships and marriages, and plenty of people who had sex at an early age end up making a great salary.

What do you think of this study?

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The Weird Things You Do That Your Guy Brags About

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10 Weird Things That Turn Men On

"During sex, if I’m talking or grunting too much my fiance will clamp her hand over my mouth, and it gets me even more aroused. I like that she knows what she wants—or doesn’t want—and has no problem letting me know." —Ty

The models photographed in Cosmo are used for illustrative purposes only; Cosmopolitan does not suggest that the models actually engage in the conduct discussed in the stories they illustrate.

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10 Weird Celebrity Dolls

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The Weird Way You Could Be Hurting Your Hoo-ha

Spin classes are an amazing workout—you burn loads of calories and tone up in an hour or less. But, according to a new study from Yale University, spinning could be hurting…your vagina.

Researchers discovered that cycling (indoors or outdoors) can compress nerves in your vagina, screwing with your ability to feel sensations down there. That means, if you go to spin class and go home and have sex, you won’t be able to feel as much as you normally would—or could be uncomfortable during the act.

For the study, scientists observed women who cycled a minimum of 10 miles a week (that’s the equivalent of taking one half hour or 45 minute spin class a week), and found that many felt soreness, numbness, or tingling after sitting on the bicycle seat.

After changing up the levels of the seats and handlebars, researchers discovered that women had the most discomfort when their handlebars were lower than their seats. That position put more pressure on the nerves of their perineum (that spot between your butt and vaginal opening), which led to discomfort.

Experiencing a similar issue? Raise your handlebars and don’t stress—the uncomfortable feeling is usually only temporary, says Cosmo Radio women’s health expert Jennifer Wider, MD.

Just keep an eye on it if you notice you’re still feeling uncomfortable when you bike after adjusting your handlebars. Dr. Wider says continuous discomfort could be a sign you’re developing nerve injury down there.

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The Weird Factor That Makes a Man Sexy

Maybe you thought it was the bedroom eyes or that awesome personality that drew you to your guy, but new research reveals something else may have contributed: his immune system. Totally serious.

A recent study from Abertay University found that there’s actually a connection between a man’s immunity, his testosterone levels, and how hot women are likely to find him. Researchers recruited 74 guys to get Hepatitis B vaccinations, which triggered their immune systems to create antibodies against the virus. 

Scientists then drew blood samples before and after the vaccination, and tested those samples for antibodies, as well as levels of testosterone and cortisol. Then, 94 female participants rated the photos of each man, judging their attractiveness on a 10-point scale.

The results: Dudes who experienced the strongest immune responses also had higher levels of testosterone, and were considered more attractive than guys who had weaker reactions to the vaccine. That makes sense, since guys with higher testosterone tend to have more masculine features—you know, with the broad shoulders, sculpted jawlines, and chiseled abs.

But the researchers think that this goes way beyond just looks. They think that this study implies that we’re inherently wired to go for guys who are not only hotter, but are also healthier—they theorize that it could be because we’ll eventually want our kids to inherit the strongest immune systems possible.

So really, as we gravitate toward alpha dudes with masculine (read: lickable) features, it’s in part because they're smokin' …but also because we subconsciously suspect they’ll make healthier partners and, potentially, fathers down the road. Talk about advanced planning…

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The Weird Factor That Can Screw With Your IQ

Know those mind-numbing meetings you’re forced to sit through at work? They could actually be screwing with your smarts.  

According to new research from Virginia Tech, working together in small groups can make some typically smart people less intelligent in the moment. To get the results, scientists gave university students IQ tests, then paired up those who had similar levels of higher-than-average intelligence, and had them solve problems as a team.  

Overall, most participants ended up with worse scores than they did on their individual IQ tests. For the next part of the study, scientists told the students how they were doing in comparison with their peers. Those who were told they weren’t doing so hot ended up getting even lower scores.  

The crummiest part? Women were way more likely to be affected by the group dynamic than men—even though they had the same scores on their individual IQ tests beforehand. Not only that, researchers found that any group settings can kick off this decline in intellect. So cocktail parties can, well, make you feel dumber and, as a result, act less intelligently.  

So next time you're asked to work in a group, try to keep the teams small or at least remind yourself to stick to your guns and not "dumb down" if you find yourself in a large group.

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Weird baby names

We'd probably keel over in shock if a celebrity ever named their child something as normal as John or Sarah. With Kate Hudson naming her baby boy Bingham and the Beckhams welcoming baby number five with a moniker like Seven, we take a look back at some of the weirdest baby names we've ever heard.Launch Gallery

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Beard or weird

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Beard or weird

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Wedding jewelry here

Beard or weird

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