10 Ways Your Life Would Be Better if You Were Karl Lagerfeld's Cat

Designer Karl Lagerfeld's 3-year-old Birman kitty cat, Choupette, has a new book coming out next month, chronicling her life as the world's most pampered and fashionable feline (click here to pre-order). The book features numerous photographs of Choupette shot by Lagerfeld himself and heart-stoppingly glamorous details about her jet-set lifestyle. It's enough to make any mere human violently, inconsolably jealous. If only you too could be Karl Lagerfeld's cat. Oh, how glamorous your life would be!

1. You would never go anywhere without one of your two ladies-in-waiting, either Françoise or Marjorie, to see to your every want and document your every deed.
It's not a proper cat nap without an audience to obsessively track your breathing patterns.

2. You would have a bodyguard to protect you from your obsessive fans.
And he would look like this:

3. Your health would be seen to by a "private medical consultant."
Within the comfort and privacy of your own home, of course.

4. You would only fly by private jet.
And always with your custom-made designer trunks by Goyard and Louis Vuitton.

5. Your meals would be prepared from recipes created just for you by the finest Parisian chefs using only the freshest gourmet ingredients.
Although, you would be limited to only tiny amounts of caviar. Private medical consultant's orders.

6. You would eat from silver dishes.
On the table, of course. Never on the floor.

7. You would have over 39,000 followers on Twitter.
And be retweeted by the likes of Vogue and Karlie Kloss.

8. You would spend your winters in Monte Carlo and your summers in Provence.
When you weren't traveling around the world, that is.

9. Your image would grace the pages of high-fashion magazines like Harper's Bazaar and i-D.
You would usually be posing with human models as well, but you would be the real star.

10. There would be an entire Chanel collection inspired by the color of your eyes.
They're not just blue. They're Star Sapphire Blue.

Follow Charles on Twitter and Instagram.

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Would You Put a Logo on Your Wedding Dress?

When Courtney McKenzie's boyfriend of two years got down on one knee on the beach in her hometown of Palm Beach, Florida, she thought they'd have a huge wedding.

"He has a big family and I have an even bigger family," McKenzie, 27, told Cosmopolitan.com. "We sat down to make the guest list and it was 250 people. But then we thought, 'What's true to us?' and we decided we just wanted it to be a lot of fun."

Chelsey Boatwright Photography

The two had always been into adventure sports, so instead of the big traditional wedding, they went with an elopement-honeymoon combo in Thailand. "We figured we'd tweet, Instagram, put out a podcast ... all sorts of social media stuff to tie in our family and friends," said McKenzie.

But then the marketing professional had another idea: Get companies to sponsor their 11-day trip in exchange for logos on just about everything and hashtags in their social media. "We will be hashtagging, tweeting and instagramming our way through Thailand to our over 30,000 combined social media followers and we want to include some of our favorite brands on our adventure," she wrote on their website. She also plans to sew sponsor's logos onto everything from her wedding dress to her honeymoon bikini and her husband's tux.

The goal, she said, is not to pay for any of the trip, and to donate a percentage of the money to charities like The Boys and Girls Club and Big Brother, Big Sister. So far they have three major sponsors, but are only about halfway to their $30,000 goal.

Reactions from their family and friends have been mostly positive, and an initial announcement on Facebook got more than 40,000 likes, but since then the Internet hasn't been kind.

"I've gotten a lot of emails saying, 'This is so tacky,' 'How can you put a logo on your wedding dress?' 'Your daughter will never be able to wear your dress,'" she said. "It stings a bit. But we feel good about doing it. And it'll be a fun story to tell our kids."

McKenzie has now gotten more positive feedback than negative, and her new goal is to launch a platform to help other brides pay for their weddings with sponsorship. With the average wedding costing over $25,000, who wouldn't slap on a logo to have it paid for?

Follow Emma on Twitter.

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Would You Pay This Gobsmacking Amount of Money to Attend the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show?

Tickets for the Victoria's Secret's annual fashion show, which will be held in London for the first time ever this year, are reportedly selling for £9,995 ($16,663). Also want to go to the after party? That ups your cost by $3,000. For a total of $20,000. To see some models in wings walk on some glitter and then have champagne and a tuna skewer in the same nightclub as them after.

Cornucopia Events is selling these tickets. As part of one of their VS show *~SpEcIaL pAcKaGeS*~ they can also put you up at a fancy hotel, drive you to and fro in a limo, and make you restaurant reservations somewhere cLaSsy*~.

They're charging $20,000 for all this, the Telegraph reports, "to keep out the riff raff." Though, who are they fooling? The Situation can obviously afford this.

For those of us who are not the Situation, and for whom attending is not even a remote possibility, the show will be televised on CBS.

Follow Megan on Twitter.

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7 Plotlines That Would Feature If "Bachmann Abbey" Were For Real

Michele Bachmann's daughter Sophia shared a very glamorous photo of the family on Facebook last night, proof that Bachmann holiday greetings cards are a very classy affair. Sophia captioned the snap "Bachmann Abbey," a reference to hit British show Downton Abbey and an all-around wonderful idea. Below, seven key stories from Bachmann Abbey's award-winning first season, as although it is not actually a real show (yet), I'm ready to work on a development deal with any interested networks. I mean, spouting anti-gay bullshit is so hot in the reality TV stakes right now, so we could go the semi-scripted route or whatever works best:

Episode #1: during a TEA PARTY, the Dowager Countess remarks "why, we're running out of rich people in this country" before ringing her little bell and having a servant flagellate himself as a sign of her displeasure.

Also episode #1: The Dowager Countess then gets a slight cough and then an Obamacare death panel has her euthanized. R.I.P.

Episode #2: In an attempt to thwart paying those pesky estate taxes, the family build a moat around the estate (actually the servants do that for them) and proclaim Bachmann Abbey a tax-free republic. They then also build a wall around the moat to secure their border from immigrants who want to come and work "downstairs" without the correct paperwork.

Episode #3: Speaking of paperwork, Turkish sexpot Mr. Pamuk is not allowed to visit the Grantham family's home because he has not brought his long-form birth certificate with him and, look, it's not something the family would say in front of their chambermaids but that last name sounds awfully foreign. (R.I.P. Theo James' career.)

Episode #4: One of the Bachmann daughters takes an interest in womens rights so she has to be sent to a religious-affiliated finishing school somewhere in Switzerland (neutral territory, note) and no-one talks about her anymore.

Episode #5: Devious homosexual footman Thomas tries to entrap patriarch Lord Bachmann in some sort of salacious blackmail plot. There's a lot of meaningful glances and touchy-feely moments when he helps Marcus put on his cummerbund for dinner but nothing comes it, obviously. 

Episode #6: That naughty maid Ethel gets caught flirting with a man who is not her husband, and she's pregnant also because that sort of thing happens when you wink at a man before marriage. It's scandalous, but Lady Bachmann does foster lots of teenage unwed mothers so she gets to stay around at the estate. All the other maids are jealous so they get pregnant too and it's basically that Lifetime movie The Pregnancy Pact set in 1920's England. 

Episode #7: Season finale. Lady Bachmann decides to run for president of the local society women's flower arranging club. Controversy erupts after she reports a conversation with a voter who said her daughter had suffered a serious ilness after sniffing her competitors' shrubs and we're left with a cliffhanger ending as to whether she'll drop out of the race or not. Either way, her calla lilies are nicer than yours. 

Follow Alex on Twitter.

Photo credit: Sophia Bachmann / Facebook via Jezebel.

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Twit Sh*t: Harry Styles Would Look Pretty in a Dress

It's awards season, so a lot of celebrities are tweeting about awards, but none of these tweets deserve any awards, that's for sure! Alright, I'm really sorry about that. Please keep reading.

Harry Styles

Thank you so much for the Brits nominations.. Can't wait to put my finest gown on.

— Harry Styles (@Harry_Styles) January 10, 2014

I know he’s joking, but I still feel like he could pull this off.

Miley Cyrus

Wearing my invisaline for the 1st time in a while. Fucking OWWW.

— Miley Ray Cyrus (@MileyCyrus) January 6, 2014

When I was in middle school, I never wore my retainer and my orthodontist would always yell at me. What I’m trying to say is, celebrities are just like us, except they have enough money to literally buy our lives, plus Invisalign on top of that.

Justin Bieber

movies to see this weekend. #BelieveMovie and #wolfofwallstreet.

— Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) January 3, 2014

Both of these films are Golden Globe nominees.

Aaron Paul

“@helloitsemilie: @aaronpaul_8 who's your favourite one direction member?” Who isn't my favorite one direction member is the question.#Harry

— Aaron Paul (@aaronpaul_8) January 8, 2014

Aaron, as far as I’m concerned you can do no wrong, but I’m still a little disappointed you went with the easy choice. Show some discretion.

Liam Payne

Helloooo

— Liam Payne (@Real_Liam_Payne) January 7, 2014

Aaron Paul. I owe you an apology. I see why you went with Harry now. This isn’t a tweet. This does not count as a tweet.

Ashley Tisdale

It's a movie room kinda day #chickennoodlesoup #sickee #movies pic.twitter.com/VODFvu2r5Z

— Ashley Tisdale (@ashleytisdale) January 5, 2014

I’ll take your word for it, Ashley Tisdale. I don’t have a frame of reference because I don’t have a movie room. Or leather Laz-E-Boys with built-in cup holders. I can barely afford that soup you’ve got next to you.

Will.i.am

I'm trying my best to stay cool in cold ass london...this cold air is breaking my cool...(It isn't cool when your shivering) #notDOPE

— will.i.am (@iamwill) January 5, 2014

You heard it here first: cold is not dope. Cold is totally out in 2013. Get rid of your refrigerators now unless you want everyone to think you’re a nerd.

Ashton Kutcher

Speaking of food...has anyone tried one of these yet? pic.twitter.com/Z9sR7qaZTl

— ashton kutcher (@aplusk) January 9, 2014

Burrito vending machines? Goodbye forever.

Photo Credit: Getty

As critical as he is, Frank has the worst Twitter ever.

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How Prince Harry Would Probably Woo You

The male mind is an interesting place and, most days, we find ourselves wondering what exactly is going on in there. Luckily, a new survey of British men gave us a bit of insight on how guys across the pond think, specifically what they believe are the top romantic gestures.

This info might come in handy in case you ever meet Prince Harry out at a pub and need to know if he's trying to woo you—yeah, you're welcome.

Apparently, giving a gal control of the TV remote is the most romantic thing a man can do, according to British men. (Seriously?) Surprising a woman with flowers and offering to cook dinner also came in as top expressions of devotion, which seem a little bit more loving to us.

Some guys, however, seem to think that putting out the trash cans, cleaning the house, and putting the toilet seat down are good ways to show their love. Which, yes, they are. But, they're also kinda expected...right?

Though, if Harry left the toilet seat up and our bums fell into toilet water because of it, we'd probably just forgive him. 

Want more from Natasha? Follow her on Twitter or find her on Facebook.

Photo: Getty Images

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Exclusive! Would You Let Your Boyfriend Give You a Blowout?

Or better yet, would your boyfriend actually take the time to learn how to blow your hair out?

Any guy I've ever dated would have said, "Hell no," but maybe your dude is willing to do your 'do?

That's the case with Chris Rios, a stylist at Sally Hershberger Salon, who's dating her dreamy, tatted-up BF Guy Vincent Riggio, a fellow stylist at S.H.

The couple met at the salon (so cute!), started working/flirting with each other, and then found themselves starring in this he-does-her-hair video exclusively for Cosmo.

But here's the deal: Whether or not your man pushes his ego aside and picks up a hair dryer to give you a blowout (after you've twisted his arm to watch this vid with you), we can promise that you'll at least learn a few things about how to do your own hair like a pro.

Who knows, your BF might just be up for it? Plus, having him know how to give you a bombshell blowout might just come in handy before your BFF's wedding.

Want to give him some incentive? Here's a thought: perhaps you can swap one blow for another? Just sayin'.

So, do you think your dude will be ready and willing to do your hair? Tell us in the comments below! 

Photo Credit: Courtesy Images

Follow Carly Cardellino on Facebook and Twitter.

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Would You Date Your Male BFF?

After every breakup, my best guy friend since college, Jason, has always been there for me. From making me his date to his company holiday party to taking me out to see a movie, he always knew how to help me bounce back—and he was a constant after a string of relationships through college and beyond.

But, as much as I platonically love him, I would never consider dating him. (Hello? It would ruin our amaze friendship!)

Which is why I'm a bit dumfounded by an experiment by girl-guy BFF combo Jessica Walsh and Timothy Goodman, who decided to date for 40 days. Both single at the same time, the pair is documenting their journey on fortydaysofdating.com through August 18. There are some ground rules: They have to see each other every day, go on three dates a week, and see a couple's therapist once a week. They're also doing some interesting challenges: One day, they held hands for eight hours straight…even when they went to the bathroom. (Uh, yikes?)

The idea is that Walsh and Goodman will learn about themselves, each other, and relationships in general though this experience. But will it totally spell disaster for their bond as friends? I guess we'll just to have to check back and find out.

Want more from Natasha? Follow her on Twitter or find her on Facebook.

Photo: WB

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Would You Want to be Proposed to Via Twitter?

Proposing marriage has become somewhat of an amateur sport of late, with many guys (and some gals!) pulling out all the stops to pop that eternal question—from proposal planners to flash mobs galore.

The latest is a man named Curt Buthman who recently proposed to his girlfriend Marsha Collier using a Twitter hashtag and Vine video of him holding upon a ring box. (Check out the video here.)

The proposal, thought to be the first ever to use the Vine platform, was seen by thousands of people and many retweeted the action, as well as shared their well-wishes with the couple. Pretty sweet, right?

Okay, well, then why isn't this whole sitch warming my heart?

Call me old-fashioned (no, really, do—I won't be offended), but I think the idea of proposing over social media is lame. It's not even the complete-strangers-are-watching-your-private-moment factor that irks me—though, to be clear, I think a public proposal is more of a spectacle than a legit romantic moment.

No, my issue is more that this is an intimate moment in which a couple is solidifying the desire to spend the rest of their lives together. You should be able to hug each other right after…or at least make eye contact while the question is being asked.

Admittedly, I am biased. My guy asked me to marry him in a super simple, but very private way: We were both lying in bed and I was still wearing my retainer. (Hot.) For us, this was perfect. And I would have been super disappointed if he'd, like, just sent me a g-chat instead.

But, who am I to judge how other people want to express their love? What do you think of popping the question over Twitter?

Want more from Natasha? Follow her on Twitter or find her on Facebook.

Photo: Getty Images

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Would You and Your Guy Wear Matching Outfits?

Korin Miller
Korin is the site director for Cosmopolitan.com. She loves uncovering cool new research and learning more about what makes guys tick. Outside the Cosmo office, you can find her running with her dog, trying to convince friends to go to karaoke bars, and watching as much reality TV as humanly possible. Hit her up on Twitter: @korinmiller
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Michelle Ruiz
Michelle is the news editor for Cosmopolitan.com. She's obsessed with interviewing celebrities and spotting the latest pop culture trends. Her life highlights include chatting with Ryan Gosling about sex dolls, dancing on stage at the Oprah show, and shopping with her mom on Long Island. Tweet her: @michelleruiz
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Dara Adeeyo
Dara is the associate web editor for Cosmopolitan.com. She's intrigued by all things digital. Dara loves playing with html and discovering new studies. When she's not reading up on the latest cocktail recipes (for work, of course), she can be found breaking it down on the dance floor or watching the Investigative Discovery channel. She also has a sick obsession with nail polish, elephants, and most importantly, Nutella. Dara basically lives on Twitter, so tweet at her and say hey: @dadeeyo.
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Elisa Benson
Elisa Benson is the senior editor of social media for @Cosmopolitan?so, yes, she tweets about sex for a living. Elisa grew up in Ohio, attended Colgate University, and wrote love and relationship advice for Seventeen before graduating to Cosmo. She lives for girly things (weddings and eyelash extensions and Pretty Little Liars?) and frequently tweets about all of the above: @elisabenson.
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Huh: Carrie Underwood Would Quit Music If Her Husband Asked Her To

Well, in today's edition of puzzling things celebs say, we have the amazingly talented Carrie Underwood, who revealed in an interview that she would quit music for the sake of her marriage to NHL star Mike Fisher. Yes, you read that correctly.

"If Mike ever told me he needed me to quit, I'd quit," she told People. "When you make that promise to somebody, and you stand before God and your family and friends, you've got to do everything that you possibly can to make that work."

We're trying our best not to turn into Judgy McJudgersons here. Really, we are. We love Carrie. We know that every woman's choice on how to balance her career and her relationship is hers and hers alone. And we can understand the need to take a break from touring, or something like that, to spend time with her hubby.

But...completely quitting music?! Seriously?!

Being in a relationship that allows us to grow our careers and follow our ambitions is non-negotiable in our books, especially after reading Sheryl Sandberg's Lean In. (We think Carrie needs to get herself a copy—STAT.) And while we don't know Mike's feelings on the issue, we imagine that, like most awesome guys, he wouldn't ask Carrie to give up what she's passionate about for him.

Plus, according to research in Sandberg's book, marriages tend to last longer when husbands and wives share the breadwinning duties. So, if Carrie wants to make her marriage work, it might actually be better that she keeps kicking ass in the music biz.

Certainly, Carrie's already accomplished way more professionaly than we probably ever will. But, still: Wouldn't she just end up resenting Mike after awhile if she gave up everything she's worked so hard for? IMO, that's not the kind of stress you want on your relationship.

Want more from Natasha? Follow her on Twitter or find her on Facebook.

Photo: CBS

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This New Sex Toy Would Titillate Mother Earth

Korin Miller
Korin is the site director for Cosmopolitan.com. She loves uncovering cool new research and learning more about what makes guys tick. Outside the Cosmo office, you can find her running with her dog, trying to convince friends to go to karaoke bars, and watching as much reality TV as humanly possible. Hit her up on Twitter: @korinmiller
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Michelle Ruiz
Michelle is the news editor for Cosmopolitan.com. She's obsessed with interviewing celebrities and spotting the latest pop culture trends. Her life highlights include chatting with Ryan Gosling about sex dolls, dancing on stage at the Oprah show, and shopping with her mom on Long Island. Tweet her: @michelleruiz
Read More

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Contact Michelle

Dara Adeeyo
Dara is the associate web editor for Cosmopolitan.com. She's intrigued by all things digital. Dara loves playing with html and discovering new studies. When she's not reading up on the latest cocktail recipes (for work, of course), she can be found breaking it down on the dance floor or watching the Investigative Discovery channel. She also has a sick obsession with nail polish, elephants, and most importantly, Nutella. Dara basically lives on Twitter, so tweet at her and say hey: @dadeeyo.
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Elisa Benson
Elisa Benson is the senior editor of social media for @Cosmopolitan?so, yes, she tweets about sex for a living. Elisa grew up in Ohio, attended Colgate University, and wrote love and relationship advice for Seventeen before graduating to Cosmo. She lives for girly things (weddings and eyelash extensions and Pretty Little Liars?) and frequently tweets about all of the above: @elisabenson.
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Lea Michele Wears Her Man's Name Around Her Neck. What Would Carrie Bradshaw Say?!

Korin Miller
Korin is the site director for Cosmopolitan.com. She loves uncovering cool new research and learning more about what makes guys tick. Outside the Cosmo office, you can find her running with her dog, trying to convince friends to go to karaoke bars, and watching as much reality TV as humanly possible. Hit her up on Twitter: @korinmiller
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Michelle Ruiz
Michelle is the news editor for Cosmopolitan.com. She's obsessed with interviewing celebrities and spotting the latest pop culture trends. Her life highlights include chatting with Ryan Gosling about sex dolls, dancing on stage at the Oprah show, and shopping with her mom on Long Island. Tweet her: @michelleruiz
Read More

Find all posts by Michelle
Contact Michelle

Dara Adeeyo
Dara is the associate web editor for Cosmopolitan.com. She's intrigued by all things digital. Dara loves playing with html and discovering new studies. When she's not reading up on the latest cocktail recipes (for work, of course), she can be found breaking it down on the dance floor or watching the Investigative Discovery channel. She also has a sick obsession with nail polish, elephants, and most importantly, Nutella. Dara basically lives on Twitter, so tweet at her and say hey: @dadeeyo.
Read More

Find all posts by Dara
Contact Dara

Elisa Benson
Elisa Benson is the senior editor of social media for @Cosmopolitan?so, yes, she tweets about sex for a living. Elisa grew up in Ohio, attended Colgate University, and wrote love and relationship advice for Seventeen before graduating to Cosmo. She lives for girly things (weddings and eyelash extensions and Pretty Little Liars?) and frequently tweets about all of the above: @elisabenson.
Read More

Find all posts by Elisa
Contact Elisa

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