12 Problems Only People Dating a Coworker Understand

1. The devastating awkwardness of figuring out if you should kiss each other good-bye. As your relationship begins to blossom like two flowers in the same garden that are dating each other, you have to start making choices that will affect you the rest of your lives (or until you break up and/or one of you quits). Do you kiss each other good-bye every day and risk the glares, murmurs, and gossip of your coworkers? Or do you just suck it up and bolt out of there, sending a "thinking of you" text on the way out? This is about to set the foundation for the rest of the relationship.

2. Debating whether or not to send that inappropriate email. You've hovered over the "send" button, wondering if you should send a sexy email to your work beau so you can reap the benefits later. Then you thought better of it when you realized his boss could be looking over his shoulder at this very moment.

3. Negotiating a quickie during lunch. You crunched the numbers over sushi and realized that you could spend 15 minutes in a car together in a nearby empty lot before anyone noticed both of you were out on a long lunch. Steamy, passionate, forbidden, afternoon delight was expected. Awkward, fumbling sex and cramping ensued.

4. Feeling obligated to take lunch with them every. Single. Day. Depending on the kind of person you are, that sentence either gave you butterflies or filled you with intense dread. May God have mercy on your souls if the two of you disagree about just how much time you should spend together.

5. And if you live together, being together nonstop. Jim and Pam made the whole office romance thing seem perfect, but sometimes you just want some space.

6. If you're not working a 9-to-5, just hoping you wind up on the same schedule. You're always bummed out when your schedules don't overlap, but you're pretty sure your manager does it on purpose. And getting home when he's just leaving for work means no sex ever.

7. Fighting over interoffice politics. You know you shouldn't bring your work home, but dates have been ruined because his department really screwed over your department on some big project.

8. Your coworkers acting really awkward when they walk in on the two of you. You might have been discussing budget reports, but everyone always acts like they just interrupted something steamy. "Ohhh, I'm so sorry, you guys," they say with a wink and leave before you can explain yourselves.

9. Overcompensating with professionalism. When you have to interact in a professional setting, you fidget and act like you're complete strangers, successfully making things even more awkward for everyone involved. As a result, you are never invited to client meetings together.

10. The grand debate over whether to leave the office separately for date night. You know if you walk out together, everyone is going to "Ooooh" like they're the studio audience on Saved by the Bell.

11. Seeing each other at work when you're having a big fight at home. You might be able to storm out of the house but you're not going to get a break from each other when you have that big PowerPoint presentation the next day. Good luck going through the quarterly results when the person you're currently irrationally mad at because of how they make pasta is stewing only feet away.

12. Hating him momentarily when you're up for the same promotion. You sat down and had a long talk about how you'll be happy no matter who gets it. But secretly, you're hoping to stroll in there and crush your significant other.

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18 Problems Only People With Contacts Understand

1. When it slides up under your upper eyelid and you have to execute all kinds of **Flawless mauevers to get it out. While trying not to look up “damage from contact lens in your brain” on WebMD.

2. When they start drying up during a late, drunk night out. And people think you’re drunker than you are, because you’re squinting like a moron.

3. When you have to keep them in overnight during a one-night stand. Although I once put mine in two two-liter Coke can tops. And then back in my eyes. Sick. (College!)

4. When you’re at the beach. Owwwww, that miniscule grain of sand in my eye.

5. When you get a rip in your contact at school or work and wind up leaking from your eye for the whole day.

6. When you’ve flipped your contact inside-out at some point but spend the whole day wearing it like that. It feels slightly wrong, but not wrong enough to notice until you’ve spent the whole day poking it and inflaming your eye. (Pro tip: When it’s inside-out, and you are looking at it on your finger, it’ll look a little more like a flying saucer and less like a cup.)

7. When you drop a brand-new contact on the floor. GAAOOAOAOAOOAODOAODOADNOOOOOOO.

8. When you drop a brand-new contact on the floor and then realize that it was the last one for that eye that you have. The biggest First World Problem.

9. When you run out of contact solution at an inopportune moment. More accurately, when you go a full week meaning to buy more contact solution but forget every single day, and by the time you get home, you’re tired and it’s freezing out and you just re-use the old solution. Yuck.

10. 10:45 P.M. scare stories on the news are immensely effective and memorable. One time I heard one about a girl who put her contact lens in water, and then the parasites in the water moved into her contact lens and she went blind, forever. Welcome to not sleeping for the rest of your life.

11. Constantly forgetting which contact case is yours and which is your siblings’/roommates’/parents’/whoever. The good news is that you’ll notice the prescription’s wrong as soon as you look up and feel like you are on LSD.

12. Putting in your contacts after you put your eye makeup on and smudging everything. There goes your perfect smokey eye.

13. They’re expensive! Especially considering they are flimsy little tiny discs you can blow away like a dandelion seed.

14. Engaging in the just-before-bedtime TV watching routine is impossible in the event that you can’t find your glasses. Which is 99 percent of the time. (They’re on top of the toilet, under the magazine, partially blocked by that candle.)

15. During morning sex, you are functionally blind. That’s a penis, right? I can see… beige?

16. Ruining foreplay by announcing that you have to take your contacts out. I guess you can try whispering it all sexy, like, "I need to take these contacts out... of my eyes... because they're so deep and hard. In my eyes."

17. That thing where you lose a contact and everyone searches for it on the floor and accidentally picks up garbage. "Is this it?" "No, that's... I don't know what that is. A biohazard?"

18. The eternal debate about whether to get Lasik. On the one hand, convenience forever. On the other hand, flipping up half of your eyeball is #no.

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16 Problems We All Have During Drunk Sex

1. Jumping someone's bones in front of anyone else with no shame. Generally speaking, when you are sober you are less inclined to halfway-bang someone in front of a kindly 55-year-old cab driver. Super-embarrassing for everyone involved to remember this the next day.

2. Wondering if you might have to vomit in this person’s bathroom. Like when you are riiiight on the border of “fun drunk” and “nauseous drunk.” And twentysomething apartments are so small, he’d totally hear you.

3. Getting the spins while you're on top. When I am drunk and want to have sex I basically plank and wait.

4. Tripping over things on the way to the bed. That stray Reebok sneaker just jumped right out in front of me.

5. Ignoring 700 texts from your friends because you are deep in the throes of the Drunk Sex Tunnel. “where did you go??” “are you okay?” “don’t get come on my skirt you borrowed.”

6. Waiting for him to find your clitoris, and eventually having to help him as he fumbles around. Although I guess sober guys also can be this way, generally their hand/eye coordination is somewhat superior.

7. Engaging in super-filthy dirty talk that might embarrass you tomorrow. My butthole aches for your tender... you get the idea.

8. Saying "I love you" unplanned. The drunk mid-sex first “I love you” is a very risky, occasionally catastrophic move.

9. Not using a condom. One time when I had to go to the pharmacy to get Plan B, the pharmacist was like, “PARDON? YOU SAID PLAN B, RIGHT? FOR WHEN YOU HAVE UNPLANNED AND UNPROTECTED SEX WITH ANOHTER HUMAN AND NEED TO FACE THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR IRRESPONSIBILITY?” (Okay, maybe not the second sentence, but she yelled it really loud and everyone standing behind me waiting for their Claritin eyeballed me like I was a disease-riddled dock prostitute.) (YOLO.)

10. Whiskey dick. :(

11. Not being properly lubricated. Really wanting to have sex but really not being able to is the worst. Until you bust out the K-Y!

12. Thinking you're being really discreet about sliding your hand up his leg (or whatever) while you have the requisite fake small talk convo with his roommate. The swing-your-legs-over-his-legs move is not as subtle as you think it is.

13. Or brazenly touching his dick while you are at a bar. And giving everyone around you an unwanted dramatic re-enactment of a Penthouse letter.

14. Best case scenario, you're in a cloud of both of your booze breath combined. Worst case: Taco Bell breath.

15. Blowjobs that take forrrrrever. When you’re going down on a drunk guy, time stops; it’s that Salvador Dali painting with the droopy clocks everywhere.

16. Going back to his place and forgetting you wore clip-in hair extensions. Do you (1) take them out and hide them in his bathroom until the morning or (2) hope he doesn't try to run his hands through your hair ever?

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22 Problems Only Vegetarians Understand

1. Your carnivore friends are more likely than you to loudly announce your vegetarian status to the waiter/person handing out free samples at Costco. A simple “no thank you” will get the job done. Plus, my face won’t turn bright red!

2. You get tired of being lectured about protein and iron by people who have half their arm inside a family-size bag of Doritos. Seriously? Do you even know what a vegetable looks like?

3. Coworkers that you eat lunch with feel the need to defend themselves. That's cool that you only eat chicken on Mondays, Wednesdays, and on federal holidays. Can we get back to dissecting every detail of Beyonce's Grammy performance?

4. Everyone assumes that you love yoga, kale, and accent braids. OK, GUILTY. But I also love whiskey and binge watching The Sopranos.

5. People you just met harass you about your reason for being vegetarian.  Do you really want to have a GROSS debate in the middle of Zara?   

6. Every time you groom yourself, there is an internal battle about switching to all animal-cruelty-free products. Those poor little bunnies — damn, my hair is SO SOFT. OK, I will change after this bottle runs out.

7. Your S.O. will make a big deal about picking out a restaurant every time. The consideration is heartwarming, but you inform them that you would rather not be treated like a freak. Besides, you always manage to find something on the menu. "I'm, like, super chill."

8. After making that self-rightous claim, you will ultimately end up at a restaurant that has NOTHING you can eat. Um, can we get some more bread over here?

9. You will be confronted by your carnivore friends about wearing leather.  Explaining that it's not real leather, or that you purchased it second hand, doesn't seem to satisfy them.

10. Everyone under the sun has an opinion about your body type.  Oh, you thought vegetarians were all ballerina-type waifs? Sorry to disappoint you, new boyfriend of my friend from college who I only saw on the street by chance. I happen to like what I have goin' on here.

11. All family gatherings, especially Thanksgiving, are a nightmare. No celebrating for you, young lady! You will experience most items on this list on rotate for the entire day.

12. Being the only one who responds to the post-script on a dinner party invitation asking if anyone has food restrictions. Token Pain in the Ass.

13. Vegetarian cookbooks rarely have color photographs.  Zzzzz. Whatever, I'll just go to tastespotting.com. Drooling now.

14. On Jan. 1, at least one of your friends will “go-veg” to lose weight or "just to see if I can do it."

15. Other vegetarians are miffed to find out that you are dating a carnivore.  Oh he's handsome and funny and treats you like the goddess that you are, but he eats meat? You poor thing.

16. Loser dudes will take it as a challenge to be the one to break you. Is this a male primal instinct thing? It's super creepy!

17. Vegetarian guys think you automatically want to date them. Thanks for the drink. No, it's OK, I'll call YOU. So soon. Miss you already.

18. When an ASPC ad comes on, everyone in the room looks at you like it's all your fault. "In the arms of an angellll" *crying*

19. You get asked about what you will feed your children, regardless of whether you have expressed interest in having kids. Yes, I plan on letting Hans make his own choice at age 12, when I finally let him out of his plastic bubble. I've also picked out his outfit for his first day of school.

20. You eventually learn the truth about Jello and marshmallows. But what will I put in my hot cocoa? :(

21. You get confused with vegans and pescatarians constantly. Cheese? Honey? Fish? Ice cream?

22. People will ask you about your feelings towards the smell of bacon. Yes, it smells delicious to me too, okay?

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24 Problems All Curly-Haired Women Have

1. Your hair takes a full workday to dry after a morning shower and you look like a wet sheepdog who files invoices. Your co-workers are like, "What a talented sheepdog! It can use Microsoft Excel and everything!"

2. When you’re trying to blowdry your hair and you can’t find the diffuser (e.g. the attachment that makes you not look like a human Christmas tree.) I am convinced that lost diffusers end up on Diffuser Island, a remote paradise where diffusers go just to fuck with us.

3. On Days 2 – 4 after you wash your hair, it's as awesome as Julia Roberts’ in My Best Friend’s Wedding, but that is a very narrow window. On Day 1, you look like Shirley Temple. Clean curls are the bounciest, tightest, and frankly, least-flattering (for some of us) iteration possible.

4. On Day 5, you look like a troll who sleeps under a bridge. Not even dry shampoo can save you now. You have to take a spritz bottle of water and do your best... in other words, another 20 minutes of your morning routine.

5. Your natural hair on a good day looks like every pre-makeover hairstyle in a romantic comedy.

Or that guy from Workaholics.

5. The various opinions on how often to wash your hair are confusing. Some hairstylists say you should only use shampoo once a week. Others say a few times a day. Straight-haired people give you side-eye when you mention you don’t wash your hair as often as they do. (Go to hell.) What to do?!

6. To go sulfate-free or to stay with regular shampoo? My guess is the majority of straight-haired women don’t even know what sulfate-free shampoo is.

7. Topknots take more work than they should, otherwise they look weird. There is a fine line between “high-fashion topknot” and “I forgot to take my hair down from this awkward bun I do before washing my face.”

8. You can’t wash your hair and then sleep on it. Unless “stuck your head in an electrical socket” is a prominent model-hairstyle in your Delia*s catalogue. (It’s not.)

9. The curly-hair specialty products that actually make your hair sane are three times more expensive than regular products. And you either use them up immediately or use them once, realize they’re not effective, and throw them under the sink where you keep your failed-products graveyard.

10. You go to a friends’ house and forget your hair accoutrements, and you are totally fucked. Sorry, Sleek-Haired Perfect Unicorn Friend, I can’t use your usual drugstore hair products. Why? Because I’ll end up looking like Howard Stern, that’s why.

11. People will refer to your "fro" as if that's appropriate. Guys. We have to be best friends before — if ever — you call my hair a "Jew 'fro" and I manage to abstain from smacking you upside the head. Not okay.

12. You have to be super-careful about who you go to for cuts. Otherwise you end up with the patented triangle shape. Not cute.

13. Layers grow out weird. At the time, they thin your hair out in a good way, but a few months later, you’ve got two layers that are very clearly defined and very different lengths. Try braiding that shit. Go ahead. Try it. I did it this morning, and now I have to go to therapy.

14. You have like, three hairstyle options. You know those awesome hair tutorials on sites like ours? Yeah. Not really possible for us curly-haired women to do about 90 percent of the time. Step 1 is always "Brush it." Yeah, not gonna happen.

15. Speaking of those tutorials, they always call wavy hair “curly.” It’s not "Three Awesome Workplace Styles For Curly Hair" if it’s a model with pin-straight hair that you loosely curled like, half of. I wasn't born yesterday.

16. Girls with easy, beautiful waves whose hair is perfectly straight on top are always trying to commiserate. "Oh my God, my hair is sooooo crazy when it’s natural." And one day they don't have time to flat-iron it and it's actually like:

And you're like:

17. People assume you’re a certain kind of person when you have curly hair. A free spirit who plays the guitar in coffee shops and wears long, dangly dream-catcher earrings. A vegan. I am not a free spirit, I am VERY trapped. And I also eat meat, thanks.

18. That mixed feeling you have when people compliment you on your temporarily-straightened hair. You say: "Thanks!" You think: Does this mean I look better with straight hair? I do feel more confident this way but is that just because straight hair is preferred by society? Should I cave in and straighten it all the time? Do people like me better when I’m not myself???

19. Every time you have an important event, you obsess over the above. First date? Job interview? Do you straighten it and then roll up to the second date/follow-up interview curly? Does it even matter to anyone but you?

20. Guys try to run their fingers through your hair and immediately get caught in tangles. Uh, #bornthisway?

21. You wake up the next morning and don't look subtly sex-disheveled and instantly adorable. Morning-after drunk sex hair for curly-haired women is not good. You better sneak into his bathroom before he gets up and wonders where the cute girl went and how the stray caribou found its way into the bed.

22. You're the only woman who leaves her hair naturally curly at work, and it's lonely. :|

23. It took you about 10 extra years to actually figure out how to style it. Burn all those pictures from middle school.

24. It takes forever to look like it's long. Sure, it looks short, but go ahead, stretch it out. Practically down to your butt, right?

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Mo' Money, Mo' Problems? How to Deal When Your Paycheck Is Bigger Than His

Your paycheck is bigger than his? You go, girl—and you aren't alone. "A quarter of women who work are making more than their male partners," says Carmen Wong Ulrich, a financial insider and author of The Real Cost of Living. "And it's growing." But be prepared that financial disparity can cause tension in a relationship. Here's what to look for and how to deal.

1. You're Suddenly The Breadwinner

He's used to be bringing home more bacon, but a bump up in your salary or a new career has shifted the balance. "If all of a sudden you make a lot more money, talk very openly, early, about what this means," says Ulrich, who advises coming up with a game plan on not only the division of expenses for couples living together, but also household duties. "I expect you to walk the dog, take care of the kids, whatever it is."

But most importantly, Ulrich says no matter how much, or how little, each partner is making, no one person should ever be paying entirely for all components of a household if both parties are working. "Have a system so you are both contributing to the household no matter what it is."

2. You Do It All... And We Mean All

If your full-time job is carrying your household but you're also logging major hours cleaning up/cooking/ taking care of kids, you might want to take a step back and re-evaluate the situation. "When and if children come into the mix, if both the wage earning and taking care of the kids falls onto the woman's shoulders, things can get out of whack very quickly," explains Ulrich. "Earning the money and taking care of the house and kids can get very difficult; There has to be some flexibility in these roles you're going to play."

Ulrich says with younger couples, it may not be so much of an issue of protecting egos, especially with the rise of stay-at-home dads, but once again, it's important to have these conversations early so you're not stuck trying to juggle a 60-hour week and cleaning the house after a rough work day.

3. He Makes Much Less Money

He's hot, he's funny, he's great in bed. But there's an obvious Miranda and Steve on Sex & the City situation going on, circa their relationship round one: You obviously make much more money than he does. As in, you're separated by several tax brackets.

This doesn't necessarily spell problems. As long as dating him doesn't fall into one of two categories, says Ulrich: "Does he expect you to pay because he makes less money? And how does that make you feel? Or does he insist on paying for you even though he doesn't make very much money?" says Ulrich. "These are both red flags. You want someone in between, who will be willing to say 'Hey, let's split it this time, or let me pay this time, and you can pay the next.'"

If you can tell that he isn't looking for a Sugar Mama and his ego isn't impenetrable, Ulrich says "after several dates you could have a very frank conversation" about money, making dating less of a hassle in the future.

Regardless, Ulrich shares a very important warning. "I do recommend that women don't start taking care of someone. Be careful to keep your finances fairly separate."

4. Your Friends/Family Don't Approve

The fact that he's a bartender/slightly unemployed poet/undiscovered lounge singer couldn't bother you less. Your parents and friends, on the other hand, are a different story.

"You have to be really eyes-wide-open about what's going on. Do you really respect this person? Because if you don't respect this person and they're living off of you, it's not a good situation," says Ulrich.

"You have to be very secure in the situation and the roles you're both playing, and that's the bottom line. If there's any part of you that feels bad or embarrassed, that's going to become bigger and bigger as time goes by," insists Ulrich. "All that criticism is going to make more cracks; That's something that you have to assess up front."

No matter what situation you're handling, if you're bringing in the big bucks, Ulrich has one key piece of advice she believes all women should follow: "If you're putting in more money, you never want to throw that in someone's face, like during a fight," she advises. "It can't be a point you can hold over somebody."

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