If you’ve felt like the majority of sex-toy articles you’ve come across in the past have catered to heterosexual pairings, and you’re all *blank stare* “That does not concern me or my needs,” then today is your lucky day (slash tonight is your lucky night WINK WINK).
Last week I took myself down to Toys in Babeland, a wonderful queer-owned, sex-positive shop in Brooklyn (there are also locations in Manhattan and Seattle), and talked to Claire Cavanah, the company’s co-founder. Armed with my notebook and pen, along with some basic knowledge gleaned from previous, non-research related trips to Babeland, Claire showed me the ins-and-outs (GET IT) of toys that can add enjoyment for both/all parties in lesbian sexcapades.
Truth be told, most sex toys can be used for any and all bodies in any and all couples or groupings. All you need is a little creativity, an open mind, and possibly some lube. So! Lesbians, and pretty much anyone else, here are some basics in gettin’ it on with a little help from your (sex-toy) friends.
Do all lesbians use strap-ons? Nope. Do some of us? Yup.
For those of you who enjoy penetration, or who are doin’ it and doin’ it well with someone who enjoys penetration, strap-ons can be super fun and also come in a variety of shapes and sizes (both in the harness and the dildo department!) Here are the basics of what you can find in the land of strap-ons:
The Harness
Choice Number One: Leather vs. Cloth
Leather Harnesses, like the “Jaguar,” ($95) last for a very long time, mold to your body with repeated use, and warm to the touch. 
Cloth Harnesses, like Spareparts’ “Joque,” ($120) are soft, and adjust with velcro instead of buckles (for swift adjustments when speed is of the essence), and also often have additional pockets for small vibrators! “Joque” has two pockets, one for a small bullet vibrator for the receiving party, and another for a bullet vibrator for the wearer!
Choice Number Two: To Strap or Not to Strap
There's also the “RodeoH” harness, ($45) which is basically tight-fitting underwear that will hold your favorite dildo. The beauty of going sans-straps is the ease of use (everyone knows how to put on a pair of underwear), and also the fact that these can go in the laundry just like any other article of clothing! In my humble lesbian opinion, this means you’ll probably get a lot more use out of said strap-on.
The Dildo
Choosing a dildo requires a few decisions as well. The most obvious, perhaps, is size. You can go small, large, straight, curved… the options in Dildo-land are virtually endless.
Appearance is also a factor. Some dildo-users are after authenticity: they want their parts to look like the real deal, right down to the balls (which will totally fit in the Joque!). Others would rather have the fun without making an actual-penis visual connection, and so may choose a dildo that looks as far from the real thing as possible.
Material is also a factor. If you are using your dildo with a strap on — silicone is the name of the game. If you are going hands-on over strap-on, though, there are glass and stainless steel options which are very skilled at targeting the g-spot (plus, using your hands gives you added control).
Lastly, if you and your partner are both penetration fans, check this out: you can use a double-sided dildo like the Feeldoe in many of the harnesses so that the wearer and the receiver are both getting what they seek. Boom.
(Bandit, $116; Rainbow Amor, $65; Feeldoe, $150.)
Yes, skin-to-skin contact is a wonderful thing, but let’s not underestimate the power of batteries and silicone. For those of you who are into shakin’ / rattlin’ / rollin’ while bonin’, here are some killer vibrators that can pack a real one-two punch.
Hello Touch Fingertip Vibes, $65: Combine the ability to touch your human with a BATTERY POWERED PACK. What more do we need to say, really.
JimmyJane’s Form Vibes, $145: Form vibrators are top-of-the-line wonderful, completely waterproof, and offer various ways of interacting with your partner. The Form 3 is shaped like a tongue, if that’s what you’re into, and the Form 4 is able to be held in place with your legs while doing other things with your hands (including sexting for all you long distance-ers!)
WeVibes, $159: WeVibes offer dual stimulation and can be worn during penetration to increase all the good feelings in all the right places. This is basically like having your cake and also cookies and eating them all and then getting brownies. Tadaaa.
Minna Ola, $149: The Minna doesn’t have settings, it responds to your touch. The more pressure you put on the Minna, the more intense the vibration. It’s like a smartphone for your vagina. Get out of my face. *buys Minna*
Claire told me that clitoral nerve endings go all the way back around our bodies to near our butts and it’s all connected and then she started singing “The Circle of Life.” Just kidding about the singing… not kidding about anything else. If you or your boo are into touchin’ butts, my takeaway was that NJoy is where it’s at.
Njoy Stainless Plugs, $65 - $300: The dude who makes Njoy stainless steel toys started out as a BICYCLE MAKER and was like, “I can use my skills for further good in the form of this stainless steel plug you can pop in your butt for orgasms that make your head explode.” Njoys come in various shapes and sizes and amazing little cases. GO GET ONE, WHAT’S STOPPING YOU.
You. Guys. The amount of fun you can have with blindfolds and feathers and handcuffs and whips or paddles or whatever you like, I don’t know you, is pretty amazing. I was super into the Under The Bed Restraints, $58, which allow you to do all your tyin’ up WITHOUT EVEN NEEDING A HEADBOARD. Just put the straps under your mattress and BLAM-O you can cuff your partner (or yourself, Houdini) down to the bed.
Bonus Prize (or Reason to Hate the World): There is also something called The Fifty Shades of Grey Submit to Me Beginners Kit, $56, which includes blindfold, restraints, a paddle, and more. *puts head into hands**contemplates life*
Never leave home without it. Things are always more fun when they are lubricated. Well, most things, anyway. Water based lube is the go-to if you are using it with toys, as the chemical makeup of most toys will break down with silicon lube. Silicone lube is great for sans-toy play, as it lasts for a million years (approximately).
NEWSFLASH: There is this awesome Babeland lube that is a water/silicone hybrid, called Babeland Silk, $16, which is safe for toys AND lasts a long time. Blamo.
Kristin Russo lives in New York City and holds a master's degree in gender studies. Dannielle Owens-Reid lives in Los Angeles where she rehearses stand-up comedy in front of her cat. Together they run the website everyoneisgay.com. Do you have questions or topic requests for Kristin and Dannielle? Ask them HERE.
Photo credit: Courtesy of Kristin Russo and brands
