20 Things That Turn Your Day Around in Less Than a Minute

1. Treating yourself to a cupcake. Your day is spiraling out of control so you decide to break your healthy eating streak and get a fancy-ass cupcake or a bunch of fast food.

2. Dog cuddles. Your had a terrible afternoon, but your dog knows what's up and comes over and lies on top of you while you're on your laptop. A dog knowing you're sad is adorable.

3. Walking way down the street from your office to get a good cup of coffee. Forgo the office coffeemaker and the chain shop next door to go on a 10- minute walk to the local café. The coffee is way better, and the extra fresh air is a bonus.

4. Someone at the office bringing in snacks. Your lunch didn't fill you up, and you're trying to figure out how you're going to get through the rest of the day when someone shows up with a bunch of donut holes. Or pizza. Or pizza holes (these aren't a thing but they should be).

5. Realizing you have a long weekend. This week has burnt you out, when suddenly one of your coworkers mentions how much they're looking forward to having Monday off. You just got a bonus day off out of nowhere.

6. Getting a text from your partner. Somehow, they always know to message you just when your day is getting unbearable.

7. Finding $20 in your jeans. Granted, this was always your money, but it still feels like you found $20.

8. When the workplace suck-up gets in trouble. They've gotten under your skin enough times that it's kind of nice. Schadenfreude, etc.

9. Getting an email from an old friend. It's nice to know they were thinking of you and want to catch up, even if they are definitely going to flake on your plans.

10. Petting a random dog. Hell yeah. You just met a dog on the street (and its owner or whatever) and got to hang out with it and pet it a bunch. It was a pretty cool dog and you hope you get to hang out again.

11. Seeing a kitten. Even if you hate cats, kittens are pretty cute.

12. Seeing two kittens. It's like seeing a kitten times two.

13. Deciding to try a new restaurant after work. And you know five hours in advance what you're getting for every course.

14. When the snack machine already has a dollar in it. Some kind soul put a dollar in and then just walked away. You're about to go ham on some free chips.

15. Knowing you have a bunch of shows to watch on your DVR. At this point in the day, you just want to go home and veg out. Flipping on the TV, you're greeted with a backlog of your favorite shows.

16. #DogsOfInstagram. You cannot go wrong with any of these pictures.

17. When that thing you've been saving up for is on sale. There's nothing like the rush of endorphins you get from buying something awesome. Well, maybe doing heroin. Heroin and finding out that purse you've been coveting is on sale.

18. Watching your favorite YouTube video. Everyone has a go-to classic that always makes you laugh, no matter how many times you see it. You've had a bad day, so go ahead and cue up "Charlie Bit My Finger." It doesn't matter how old it is.

19. Watching this GIF.

20. When your crush likes your Facebook status. Your whole world might be crashing down around you, but you can still flirt, dammit.

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8 Sexy Things to Do With Your Mouth

1. Say his name.
Studies show the sound we love most is the sound of our own names being said by someone who you want to bone. Those are literally the results of all the studies. I swear.

2. Speak in a language you don't know.
? ?Have you ever tried to speak in fake Spanish? Just roll your R's a lot and list the names of vegetables and fruits and talk about la biblioteca. ?Nothing is hotter.

3. ?Use a straw.
Maybe it's beer, maybe it's a wine cooler, maybe it's Kool-Aid. Either way, you're sucking on something and that makes guys think of refreshing drinks.

4. Whisper sweet nothings.
Like, literally whisper the words "sweet nothings" over and over again. It doesn't mean anything at all but if you whisper it low enough so he can't hear what you're saying, it'll just seem like a sexy whisper.

5. Mouth the names of the friends of his you kinda wanna make out with.
He won't know why you keep mouthing, "Your friend Sean, your friend Sean," but he'll love the way your mouth moves.

6. Press it against his car window and puff your cheeks out like a fish.
It's important that this is a really filthy car, if you know what I mean. Cause if he stays with you after that, it's about to get FREAKAAAYYYYY.

7. Tie a cherry stem into the shape of his favorite basketball player's body with your tongue.
This is not easy to do and if you complete this task successfully, you should win an award that comes with a plaque, because who are you and how did you do that??

8. Open your mouth obscenely wide when you kiss him.
Really envelope his whole mouth with your mouth, then push your breath out so hard it hits the back of his throat and he passes out from how weird it was. How you choose to revive him is up to you. ;)

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15 Things That Only Seem Like a Good Idea When You're Drunk

1. Flirting back with that guy you've only seen in the dark under strobe lights. All of a sudden you go outside to where there is brighter street light and you're ju— "Becky! RUN!"

2. Taking off your shoes. What's tetanus? Not something that happens to a drunk person, that's for sure!

3. Doing a sexy dance. You're so fancy. You already knoooow. You're in the fast lane — to getting hit on by someone disgusting.

4. Standing on a booth. You gotta show off your sexXxy dancing and take ***FLAWLESS duckface group selfies but you're thisclose to getting in a drunk fight with the girl in a cowl neck dress next to you who came with a group of girls who, right here, right now, are obviously your ARCH RIVALS.

5. Standing on the bar. Or anything that is not the floor or ground. Because 1. falling and 2. you'd never want this much attention for standing on not-the-ground if you were sober.

6. Kissing people whose names you don't know. You: "I just made out with that guy!" Your less drunk friend: *makes face* "And it's time to go!"

7. Having your bra show a LOT. You're Rihanna right now! She'd have her nipples out! Free the nipple! Free all the nipples!

8. Posting photos on Facebook. "Dear world, freeing mah nipplies! Woo!" ?This is the point at which you give your phone to your friend.

9. Online shopping on your iPhone. STAY AWAY FROM THE GILT APP! Stay. Away. That shit is dangerous.

10. Taking mass transit home at 3 a.m. to save $10 on a cab. When your mother asks you how your night was the next day you're going to remember this with regret.

11. Ordering food as soon as you get home. Because you fall asleep before it arrives. Or because the only places you can order from are just disgusting.

12. Trying to make food as soon as you get home. Because you're going to end up waking up to an apartment full of smoke and a black disk that used to be a frozen pizza or you're just going to eat something embarrassing, like tortilla chips dipped in peanut butter or God knows.

13. Grabbing onto a pole that happens to be next to you. When you're drunk this only leads to one sort of action and it's probably not one you'll want to end up on Vine so everyone can talk about it at brunch the next day.

14. Letting a guy who is at least 20 years older than you buy you a drink. One minute it's an $18 vodka soda, the next you have a stage five clinger Old on your hands.

15. Body glitter. You'd never put that shit on sober.

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10 '90s Men's Underwear Ads That Made You "Feel" Things

1. Joe Boxer

Hahaha. Those boxer shorts have funny pictures on them! Men's underwear is so weird.

2. Fruit of the Loom

One moment, you were just a normal kid, flipping mindlessly through one of your parent's boring old magazines — that is, until he came along. You'd flipped through this magazine a thousand times before. How had you never noticed him until now? Or had you? Wait, didn't he used to be gross? Why is he looking at you like that? OMG. He's, like, naked! Gross! Gross? Why can't you look away? What's happening? Out of nowhere, your mom/dad/sibling walks into the room and you slam the magazine shut. Nothing to see here. No, you're being weird. Stop looking at me!

3. Calvin Klein x Antonio Sabato Jr.

It was the early '90s. You had seen underwear ads before, but this one is different somehow. He's just so pretty. Pretty? Yeah, pretty.

4. Calvin Klein x Mark Wahlberg (aka the boxer-brief messiah)

Brain broken. Humminah durr gorum-fay. Yep. Brain totally broken. All you know is you need to tear out this ad immediately and hide it somewhere in your room.

5. International Male Catalog

Sounds sophisticated! OMG! What is this? Is this porn? Are you looking at porn right now? How did your family get on this mailing list?

6. Undergear

Well this is just ridiculous. I mean. I mean. Wait. I can see literally everything. [Turns page.] No, now I can see everything. [Turns page.] No, NOW I can see everything.

7. Kiniki

They must know I looked at the other ones. That's why they are sending this one. This is too much. No. I can't. This is ridiculous.

8. Tommy Hilfiger

God! Tommy Hilfiger is so cool! I can't afford the jeans, but I can totally afford the underwear. Then I can sag my pants a little. No, mom! I don't want to pull my pants up! This is how you're supposed to wear them. You don't know anything! You're ruining my life!

9. Abercrombie & Fitch

Is this an underwear ad? I mean, that's pretty much all they're wearing. The store is amazing. Those pictures are so big! Wait, I can't just stand here looking at the pictures. Be cool! Buy something. What the fuck??!! Sixty dollars for a polo shirt? Are they kidding! That's, like, all my money. OMG, the catalog is wrapped in plastic. I have to see it. I guess I'll get the shirt too. What's that? I get a bag with these pictures on it as well? To keep? I'm going to fold it flat as soon as I get home so it stays in mint condition. Wait, no! I'm going to use it to carry my stuff to school. That way I'll get to look at it all day and everyone will know I shop at Abercrombie.

10. Jockey

Why are all these dudes standing around with their pants down? That one in the middle kind of looks like the guy from my Abercrombie bag. Wait a second. This is Jockey? My dad wears Jockey. Oh, god! Ew, ew, ew, ew!

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5 Things You Absolutely Must Know About Shopping for Fall

Cosmopolitan.com's style editor Charles Manning answers your most pressing questions about dressing for fall.

I hate shopping for fall clothes when it is hot out! What do I need to buy now, and what can I wait to buy later?
A good coat. Kidding! God, how boring! Don't get me wrong, coats are great and all, but if you have yet to see a coat that makes your heart race, don't force it. In fact, forget need. What do you want? What is the one item you can't imagine spending another fall without? Leather pants? Over-the-knee boots? A major piece of jewelry? A colorful faux fur? Whatever that one item is, that's what you should get, and you should feel free to splurge on it now while stock is still plentiful. Leave all that need stuff for when you actually need it.

Turtleneck Sweater, WILFRED FREE (available at Aritzia), $165; Suede Thigh-High Boot, STUART WEITZMAN, $795;Leather Pant, REBECCA MINKOFF, $698; Multi-Colored Faux Fur Coat, MABEL (available at Shrimps), $987; Amulet Neckpiece, MANIAMANIA, $290

When is it OK to start wearing boots again?
Boots are never wrong. Never. They may have been cold-weather-only 10 years ago, but at this point, they are pretty much seasonless, especially short little ankle booties. So cute! And way too cool and outfit-transforming to be limited to two measly seasons.

Snake-Embossed Cutout Booties, MM6 MAISON MARTIN MARGIELA (Available at Shopbop), $595; Textured Cutout Booties, CIRCUS SAM EDELMAN (Available at Lord and Taylor), $100; Brown Cutout Booties, TOPSHOP, $130; High Heeled Booties, ZARA, $80; Two-Tone Cutout Booties, TIBI (Available at Saks Fifth Avenue), $535

I hate all my old fall clothes, but I can't afford new ones. How can I get myself out of this fashion rut without going shopping?
This is going to sound totally cheesy, but why not organize a clothing swap with your friends? Here's how:
1. Invite a group of friends over to your house — ideally, people whose clothes you like and who are around your same size.
2. Give each person a specific list of items to bring, such as a jacket, a skirt, a dress, a necklace, and a top.
3. Establish guidelines like nothing stained, nothing from one of the following stores, nothing ripped, etc.
4. As people arrive, take their clothes into a separate room and divide them into piles — jackets in one pile, dresses in another, etc.
5. Drinks!
6. Now load the first pile into a laundry bag and let each person pull one item out of the sack. Then put the second pile into the laundry bag and pass it around. Then the third pile and so on until everyone in the group has one piece from each pile.
7. Now, swap! You may not end up loving everything you get, but you'll have fun drinking and hanging out with your friends and you'll probably come away with at least one or two good things to liven up your wardrobe.

Q: Can I really not wear white after Labor Day? What about winter white? What is winter white anyway?
A: White is seasonless. White pants, white shoes, white dresses. Whatever. If you like it, wear it. Only some ancient grandma or total nerd with no style whatsoever will tell you you're doing something wrong. Winter white is more of a creamy off-white, which is fine, if you're into that, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with wearing pure, gleaming, glowing, bright white before, on, or after Labor Day.

White Joggers, WILFRED FREE (Available at Aritzia), $95; Open-Toe Booties, GUESS, $120; Cape Blazer, NASTY GAL, $68; Fitted Dress, REISS, $340; Relaxed Button-Up, COMMUNITY (Available at Aritzia), $85

Q: I don't want summer to end! How can I keep wearing my summer clothes into the fall?
A: Layer, layer, layer — shorts over tights, a tank top under a quilted jacket, a chiffon dress with a heavy wool coat, a miniskirt with an oversize sweater, etc. Use these handy guides to help you figure out what colors and prints go best together and then wear those summer clothes of yours till it's 40 below.

Do you have fashion or style questions? Tweet them to our style editor @charlesemanning.

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16 Things Only People Obsessed With Fall Understand

1. Costume parties and haunted houses always beat Christmas dinner. And do you think summer could have a holiday where you dress up and eat candy? Hell no. All your candy would've melted. But in the fall, you can toss a fishbowl on your head, say you're an astronaut, go to a party, and four hours later you're throwing up a weird mixture of candy corn, caramel apples, and hard cider. *High five*.

2. Freshly picked apples taste better than store-bought ones. For nine months out of the year, the only way you'll find yourself yanking fruit off trees is if you're a fruit thief. And frankly, that seems like a terrible career path. Apple-picking lets you feel like a ranch hand without all the crippling, dust-bowl era depression that comes along with it. The secret to their deliciousness is love (and manual labor).

3. The ecstasy of ordering six things for lunch and having them all be pumpkin-flavored. The second the calendar gets flipped to September, it's like the world becomes that room in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory where the wallpaper is flavored, except everything is all pumpkins. Coffee, doughnuts, lollipops, the sidewalk, your mailman. It's a pumpkin world out there, friends. You better get used to it.

4. You must seize the few brief months where you can pretty much wear any item of clothing you own. Fall weather is full of possibility. It's not too warm, but it's not too cold. This is the closest to room temperature you're going to get outside all year.

5. A cool breeze at your back and a fire in front of you is one of the best feelings in the world. The only reason you'll find yourself huddled around a fire in winter is because your plane crashed in the Alps and you're trying to stay alive. Fall weather means everything fire-related is on the table: bonfires, fire pits, fireplaces, chimneys. Go crazy.

6. It's beer o'clock, 24/7. You missed Sam Adam's Octoberfest, didn't you?

7. It is now, finally, socially acceptable to post scenic nature photos to Instagram. Trees explode into color against breathtaking autumn sunsets, creating a dazzling kaleidoscope of color, or whatever. Any other time of year, nature shots are boring.

8. The peacefulness of being able to walk five feet without having a frazzled mother apologize to you while her brood runs around wrecking everything around them. Now that school's back in session, the parks are relaxing again. There are a few warm days left to enjoy the beach without getting sand kicked on you. And Starbucks is no longer a living hell.

9. The love/hate relationship all fall-lovers have with pumpkin spice lattes. The first leaf touching the ground summons the kraken of bastardized coffee drinks: the pumpkin spiced latte (PSL). Who am I to judge? Some people love these things (see No. 3). They're drinking PSLs constantly, double-fisting PSLs on their morning commute. Pouring PSLs on their cereal. Filling their pools with pumpkin spice latte. Baptizing their children in it.

10. Thanksgiving is a dark horse for "Best Holiday." Let's be honest, Thanksgiving is one of those half-assed holidays that gets shoehorned in right before the "real" holiday season starts. But that's what makes it so perfect. You get two days off from work, you only have to show up and eat, and (unless you're hosting) it's pretty much worry-free. Also: pie. That makes for a pretty damn good holiday, in my opinion.

11. Nature is a Yankee Candle. I'll preface this with the fact that it's illegal to burn leaves, but your neighbors are probably going to do it anyway, and it smells amazing. Even if there's no law-breaking involved, though, the scents of autumn will fill your nostrils with delicious earthiness and cinnamon.

12. The pleasure of getting drunk off spiced apple cider. Cider is a pretty versatile drink. You can have it hot or cold, with or without alcohol. But who would have it without?

13. You can eat all the pie you want and no one can be a dick about it. If you're eating a slice of hot apple pie in the middle of summer, you are a crazy person. Fall means it's socially acceptable to enjoy a slice of pie with slowly melting cinnamon ice cream.

14. Sleeping rules more than usual. You can control just how warm you are without fiddling with your thermostat: Just add blankets as needed. If you get too hot in the middle of the night, just kick them off and bask in the cool fall breeze.

15. Thanks to fall TV premieres, you finally have something to look forward to after work every night. You can stop catching up on Netflix and using summer programing as a crutch. A-level fall programming is back with all your favorite shows. Who needs plans when you have primetime?

16. Exposed feet and gross summer fashions are a thing of the past. Mandals, fake tans, Crocs, and wardrobe malfunctions waiting to happen are no longer everywhere. You can thank the forced-conservatism of a cool-weather wardrobe for that.

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14 Things That Kill a Guy's Sex Drive

Guys can get turned on pretty easily, and turned off just as quickly. It’s amazing our penises don’t get whiplash. Here are 14 things that can put our penises in traction faster than you can say, “Have you started your taxes?”

1. Talking about finances.

2. Bringing up our parents. Not before, not during, not immediately after. We don’t want to accidentally start making loose associations.

3. Pointing at our penises. For some reason, women think it’s OK to point out when we have erections. It just makes us feel self-conscious and gives us flashbacks to the boy’s locker room during puberty. Not sexy.

4. Getting distracted during sex. Commenting on the fact that we need to dust under our bed really takes us out of the moment.

5. Talking about other guys. Fostering jealousy doesn’t get us to step up our game, it just gets us annoyed.

6. Asking to take a break during sex. It’s one thing if you need to stop to catch your breath. It’s another thing if you just want to stop.

7. Stress. Gotta stay relaxed.

8. Lack of exercise. Sweaty and wheezing is never a good look.

9. Lack of sleep. It’s tough to focus on anything, let alone good sex, when all we want to do is go to bed.

10. Not feeling like providers. It’s wired in us to feel like we can protect and provide for our loved ones. Feeling less like Prince Charming and more like Kevin Federline can cramp our style.

11. Baby talk. There’s nothing sexy about babies. Just stop.

12. Being embarrassed of your body. We want your body. Acting ashamed of it makes us sad. Sadness is not conducive to boners.

13. Crying. It doesn’t matter if we’re crying or you’re crying. Nothing sexy is going to happen.

14. Being sick. We’re leaking mucus out of every orifice. Nothing about that sentence is arousing.

Photo Credit: Getty

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8 Mind-Bogglingly Dumb Things Actually Said About Gay People

People — public people who actually have other people pay attention to them — say a lot of dumb shit, a lot of the time. Below is a small sampling of ridiculous things said about gay people, and rather than just retorting, “what you just said… that was some dumb shit,” we’ve strengthened our response in the form of GIFs from our favorite show about politics: Parks and Rec. You are all welcome. ..|.. ^__^ ..|..

1. “If the California Supreme Court had allowed the gays to marry, then anybody could have gotten married. You could have married a duck.”
-Bill O’Reilly, The O’Reilly Factor

I have had, like, the biggest crush on this duck in fifth grade and this is SUCH good news. It’s so rare to get laws passed for duck marriage equality in this day and age. For real, though: Drawing a comparison between humans loving other humans and humans wanting to put their penis in a duck is a LITTLE BIT OF A STRETCH NO PUN INTENDED SORRY.

Also that guy from Duck Dynasty is going to be so mad.

2. Homosexuality is “…one man violently cramming his penis into another man’s lower intestine and calling it ‘love.’”
– Matt Barber, Liberty Counsel

You’re right, Matt. Cramming your penis into a woman’s cervix is a much better definition for love.

3. “[Gay marriage] will put more kids at risk for HIV, hepatitis A, B and C, ‘gay bowel syndrome,’ human papillomavirus (HPV), syphilis, gonorrhea and other sexually transmitted diseases.”
– Robert Knight, draftsman of federal Defense of Marriage Act

Bodily fluids are bodily fluids. Risk in all of them, gay or otherwise, and it’s a well-known fact that kids just love bodily fluids. PS: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS GAY BOWEL SYNDROME, YOU WEIRDO.

4. “In history, there has never been a civilization that has embraced homosexuality and has turned away from traditional fidelity, traditional marriage, and traditional child-rearing and has survived.”
- Pat Robertson, (WTF does Pat Robertson do, tho)

*Entire country of Greece waves hello*

5. "If gays are granted rights, next we'll have to give rights to prostitutes and to people who sleep with St. Bernards and to nail biters."
- Anita Bryant, Singer

 

Well, we actually think that human beings, as a general rule, deserve rights, but like, you’re right on one count: We will lose our shit if people who bite their nails start to get rights.

6. "I don't believe that you can BE gay."
- Kevin McCullough, The Kevin McCullough Show

 

So the issue here, Kevin, isn’t the homosexuality itself, but rather the verb usage that goes with existence?

“Hi, I’m gay.”

“Impossible.”

“Okay, I exist and I am also gay.”

“Ohhhhhh.”

7. Allow gays to openly serve “if you want a military that just does parades.”
- Tony Perkins, Family Research Council

You know, he’s right. Don’t Ask Don’t Tell was repealed years ago, and where the F*CK have our extra parades been?!

8. “Is anyone saying same-sex couples can’t love each other? I love my children. I love my friends, my brother. Heck, I even love my mother-in-law. Should we call these relationships marriage, too?”
- Rick Santorum, Former US Senator

RICK SANTORUM WANTS TO MARRY HIS MOTHER-IN-LAW, THAT’S WHAT HE SAID. 

Kristin Russo lives in New York City and holds a master's degree in gender studies. Dannielle Owens-Reid lives in Los Angeles where she rehearses stand-up comedy in front of her cat. Together they run the website everyoneisgay.com. Do you have questions or topic requests for Kristin and Dannielle? Ask them HERE.

Photo Credit: NBC

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20 Boring Things Twentysomething Women Love to Talk About

1. The meaningless ways in which various alcohol affects a person. "Tequila makes me hyper." "Red wine drunk is like SO much sleepier than Champagne drunk." "I never remember ANYTHING when I'm drinking Jack."

2. How drunk you were last night. "I was so drunk last night. Oh my god, so, get this: I put a microwave burrito in the oven and FORGOT about it. And THEN — LOL — I fell asleep!  And I am SUCH A MORON — MY FAUCET WAS RUNNING WHILE I WAS PASSED OUT AND THEN I WOKE UP AND WAS HOLDING BLUE GATORADE. LIKE, WHEN DID I BUY BLUE GATORADE?"

3. The category of men you hate. "I hate American men, they don't understand chivalry." "I hate nightclub men, they're SO sexually harass-y."

4. Jennifer Lawrence.

5. How tired you are. "I just started House of Cards and I could NOT turn it off. Are you on it yet? God I'm exhausted."

6. Whether or not you should rent formalwear. "Have you done that before? Is it worth the money? I could buy four dresses on ASOS for the price of one rented dress, so, it's like, you know."

7. What you're naming your children. "Tess and Cora." "Marie and Vivian." "If I HAVE to have a boy, Liam."

8. Yoga. "I can do crow pose now. It's not hard. Just come to this class and you'll be able to do it, too. Omigosh and forearm stands!" [Friend then goes to class and fails to execute both crow pose and forearm stand.]

9. How hard that new exercise class you went to was. "I have done the Tracy Anderson Method and Flybarre and this class kicked my ass SO hard. I don't even know if I can go out dancing tonight, UGH! Oh, you're going to that club? OK, I'm in."

10. The Bachelor. "I hate Andi. I liked her but now I hate her. But I still hate Juan Pablo more. And his tank tops. He has more tank tops than everyone at Coachella combined. Asshole."

11. Snacks. "I can't decide what I want. Would it be gross to get an Almond Joy? Maybe I should just get a mini Reese's peanut butter cup. Or Baked Lays?"

12. How you're boring and old now. "I used to go out ALL the time. Now I just stay in with Ben and drink red wine. Does that make me lame? Or is lame the new cool? It's winter, whatever."

13. How you don't really use Facebook anymore. "I used to go on all the time but at some point my feed just got clogged with baby photos and I can't take it anymore. Oh wait, I need to check us in at this restaurant."

14. Hashtags. "I LOVE that dress on you. Hashtag FABULOUS!"

15. Kale. "Have you had that kale salad at that new place`? I like it because it has the perfect ratio of cheese to kale to squash."

16. Whether or not you use LinkedIn. "In creative fields you don't need it. I only have it just to have it but not, you know, use it."

17. How relaxing House Hunters is. "I hate everyone on that show but I love watching it. Did you see that 22-year-old who got the apartment in Paris for like a million dollars? Hate her. God House Hunters International is the best."

18. How you never have food in your apartment. "I don't know why but I can never seem to have groceries around. And then I go to my parents house in Ohio and it's like, eight kinds of Pepperidge Farm cookies AND at least three bags of corn chips. I just think, will that ever be me?"

19.  How you can't believe it's only whatever day of the week it is. "I can't believe it's only Tuesday. Doesn't it feel like it should be Thursday? I'm going to basically die before this week ends, I just know it."

20. How insane/dumb/terrible people you work with are. "I can hear him clipping his nails at his desk at least once a week. Doesn't he know that's grade A disgusting? Men are stupid."

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Photo Credit: Getty Images

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Celebrities Doing Things!

William Levy and Enrique Iglesias, you've had your glory. These hombres don't get enough of the spotlight.

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Grammys: 5 things we loved

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(CNN) -- The 2014 Grammy Awards are in the books, and in typical fashion, there were some notable moments.

These five were among the best:

1. Daft Punk and their dancin' friends perform "Get Lucky."

The recorded version of "Get Lucky" -- which went on to win record of the year -- already featured Pharrell's vocals and Nile Rodgers' distinctive guitar. But the Grammys' added attraction was Stevie Wonder, who dominated the awards in the mid-'70s (he has three album of the year honors).

Wonder can still bring out the best in his collaborators -- including the robot-headed Daft Punk, who played from the "control room" of the recording studio set and moved like, well, robots. Still, the group would make for a great tour.

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Old royalty, new royalty

The Beatles' Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr were in the audience and earned frequent shout outs from such presenters as host LL Cool J, Dave Grohl and Jamie Foxx. (You'd think there was some kind of Beatles' anniversary coming up.)

But there was also plenty of deference to Jay Z and Beyonce. The pair led off the show with a rousing version of "Drunk in Love," and Jay Z later won a Grammy for rap/sung collaboration. Jay Z mentioned his child-in-waiting, baby Blue, in his acceptance speech.

Stars rock all-white ensembles

3. Nifty performances, as usual

The Grammys always try hard to match known names with rising stars, and this year, the pairings paid off with several performances.

There was the Daft Punk melange, of course, but also the combination of Imagine Dragons and Kendrick Lamar (with an electric "Radioactive") and the duet of classical pianist Lang Lang and metal stars Metallica.

Trent Reznor, Macklemore tell us how they really feel

4. The new faces did well

Early on, it looked like it was going to be a huge night for Macklemore & Ryan Lewis -- especially after they won three of the rap categories over competition that included Jay Z and Kanye West. The duo also won best new artist.

Later in the show, it was Lorde who shined, picking up song of the year for "Royals." The 17-year-old New Zealander seemed particularly taken aback by her win, letting co-writer Joel Little give his speech first.

Grammys 2014: Pharrell's hat gets life -- and Twitter -- of its own

5. Pharrell's hat

What can be said about the chapeau that launched at least four Twitter accounts with a combined 10,000-plus followers? It looked like something Smokey the Bear might wear. Or maybe Dudley Do-Right.

Either way, it became a source of fun for Grammy watchers throughout the evening. Watch out: Given the way things work these days, it could get a show of its own by March.

The winners list: Did you pick 'em?

Relive the show on CNN's blog

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