14 Things That Kill a Guy's Sex Drive

Guys can get turned on pretty easily, and turned off just as quickly. It’s amazing our penises don’t get whiplash. Here are 14 things that can put our penises in traction faster than you can say, “Have you started your taxes?”

1. Talking about finances.

2. Bringing up our parents. Not before, not during, not immediately after. We don’t want to accidentally start making loose associations.

3. Pointing at our penises. For some reason, women think it’s OK to point out when we have erections. It just makes us feel self-conscious and gives us flashbacks to the boy’s locker room during puberty. Not sexy.

4. Getting distracted during sex. Commenting on the fact that we need to dust under our bed really takes us out of the moment.

5. Talking about other guys. Fostering jealousy doesn’t get us to step up our game, it just gets us annoyed.

6. Asking to take a break during sex. It’s one thing if you need to stop to catch your breath. It’s another thing if you just want to stop.

7. Stress. Gotta stay relaxed.

8. Lack of exercise. Sweaty and wheezing is never a good look.

9. Lack of sleep. It’s tough to focus on anything, let alone good sex, when all we want to do is go to bed.

10. Not feeling like providers. It’s wired in us to feel like we can protect and provide for our loved ones. Feeling less like Prince Charming and more like Kevin Federline can cramp our style.

11. Baby talk. There’s nothing sexy about babies. Just stop.

12. Being embarrassed of your body. We want your body. Acting ashamed of it makes us sad. Sadness is not conducive to boners.

13. Crying. It doesn’t matter if we’re crying or you’re crying. Nothing sexy is going to happen.

14. Being sick. We’re leaking mucus out of every orifice. Nothing about that sentence is arousing.

Photo Credit: Getty

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21 Women Share: What Boosted My Sex Drive

1-"The Magic Bullet—the sex toy, not the blender. It always helps get me off, and bringing it into my bedroom jam made me more excited for sex in general."—Melissa F.

2-"Four words, one man: Tony Goldwyn on Scandal. No coincidence that soon after I became obsessed with the show, I also got pregnant." — Nicole B.

3-"Working out and getting fit always makes a big difference. The better I feel about myself, and the more endorphins in the mix, the more sex I want." —Madeline F.

4-"Swimming together! You're basically naked and slithering around in the water...it's as close as you can come to doing it while still being in public. Much has been said about vacation sex, but the hottest thing you can do on vacay is hop in the hotel pool."—Rachel T.

5-"The little, simple things: Crisp, clean linens and shaved legs. Preferably simultaneously." —Jo D.

6-"The old standby: Baby oil as lube."— Elizabeth R.

7-"Online porn! It’s not just for guys."—Larissa K.

8-"Going off the pill. I think being on the pill killed my sex drive a bit but when I went off it I was raring to go again."—Lisa V.

9-"Sound clips are an underutilized sexting format! I highly recommend adding them to the mix."—Bea L.

10-"My boyfriend has always enjoyed serenading me with his ukulele (which is cute!), but one day he was, like, 'Oh by the way, did you know that I play the electric guitar?' Um, no! Where has that been all my life? Done and DONE." — Missy J.

11-“Yoga boosted my sex drive. Getting all sweaty next to a really handsome man in class was surprisingly a turn on. All that breathing and stretching and accidentally bumping them added a sexual charge to the experience that I'd been missing. Especially when I'm not seeing anyone, getting all physical with a bunch of strangers reminds me that I do actually have blood pumping through my veins.” —Nicola D.

12-“David Beckham's half naked boxer brief H&M ad. The one with him running after a car. His abs, his butt...I still touch myself after I watch it. Available on YouTube!”—Nina C.

13-“Like any normal woman, chocolate gets me going — and so do strawberries. If I have a combo of the two, I will not leave my bed for the next 3 days.”—Lily S.

14-“A couple years ago, I switched my birth control to one with a super high concentration of androgen (synthetic testosterone). My back broke out like crazy, but I wanted to have sex pretty much every second of the day...which was a bit counterintuitive because who wants to get busy with someone who has bacne? I eventually switched back because the breakouts were so bad...but the change to my sex drive was pretty incredible.”—Kara V.

15-“Taking pics of yourself naked just to have on file and to discover what angles and positions like yourself in. But that’s just me.” — Lila A.

16-"Celebrity movie porn: Bryan Greenberg in Prime, Oliver Martinez in Unfaithful, Ryan Gosling in The Notebook, and Ryan Phillippe in Cruel Intentions."—Leah T.

17-"Sexting."—Valerie R.

18-"Smart people/sexy authors like Steven Johnson and David Baldacci."—Brooke J.

19-“So cheesy...but take me to a Broadway show or put on some Frank Sinatra. A man who can sing, dance, and seduce women while doing it gets me going. To this end, Justin Timberlake will also work."— Shawn B.

21-“Cooking dinner with a glass of red wine and some help from a man is a big turn-on. The intimacy of doing that together as opposed to being in a crowded restaurant… it makes it feel like it’s all leading up to great sex.” — Kate S.

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How Hormones Screw with Your Sex Drive

Ever wonder why you're super horny one week, and then totally not into sex the next? Well, you might have guessed this, but it's your pesky hormones making your libido yo-yo like crazy.

And, for the first time ever, researchers out of the University of California, Santa Barbara have been able to actually demonstrate how your hormones can predict your desire levels based on the days when estrogen and progesterone spike in your monthly cycle. "We found two hormonal signals that had opposite effects on sexual motivation," said professor James Roney, the study's lead author. "Estrogen was having a positive effect, but with a two-day lag. Progesterone was having a persistent negative effect, both for current day, day before, and two days earlier." (So, two days after your estrogen hits its optimal level in your cycle, you'll really wanna get it on, and you'll really not want to get it on for three days when progesterone reaches its max.)

The cool thing about this research is that it shows how estrogen, not testosterone, was the main factor here in boosting sex drive. Giving women a dose of testosterone has been a go-to "cure" for libido issues—in fact, when I thought taking the Pill was messing with my desire levels, my doc at the time gave me birth control with some kind of synthetic testosterone that totally did the trick…but it made me break out like crazy. (Kinda counterintuitive to swap low sex drive and clear skin for horniness and major zits.)

So, hopefully this new research will lead to better solutions for women who are feeling less than frisky—and a birth control that doesn't make you feel sexually dead inside and keeps your skin pretty. A gal can dream!

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Surprising Foods That Affect Your Sex Drive

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