His Job, His Manhood
Khloe’s laissez-faire approach is so clutch because men get pretty insecure when they screw up at work. “Guys define their manhood by their jobs, so when they have a career issue, they may start to feel like less of a man in other areas of their lives,” explains relationship expert Tammy Nelson, PhD, author of Getting The Love You Want. And that loss of confidence can have a big impact on your bond. “When your man feels like a failure at work, he may start feeling depressed and pull away from you because he feels like he doesn’t deserve you,” says Nelson. He may even get paranoid that you’ll leave him for a dude who in his mind has better boyfriend stats—i.e. a guy who’s getting promoted, not demoted, or has a higher-paying gig to begin with.
Back Off, Babe
So, how should you handle it when your man is bumming on the job? Give him space. Tempting as it may be to expose the bitch who backstabbed him at work so your guy ends up on top, career and love gurus say that butting in and trying to solve your man’s problems will backfire. “Guys may think you don’t believe in them if you try to deal with their work problems yourself, which makes them feel even more inadequate,” explains career and behavioral expert Josh Shipp, host of career show Jump Shipp.
The right approach: Let him know that you’re there for him, and trust that if he wants your help or just needs your ear, he’ll bring up the topic with you when he feels ready. And when he does, don’t bust out a color-coded 5-step plan of how to proceed—just be supportive and compassionate. Relationship expert Matt Titus recommends giving him affectionate hugs and saying things like, “You’ve got this; I know you do,” and “I trust you to do what’s right,” so he understands that you’re confident in his abilities to solve his problems—not your own.
Ashley Manning, we hope you’re listening. We’re bummed that Peyton Manning was demoted from the Indianapolis Colts this week and can only imagine the heartbreak he’s going through right now.
