Sexologists: You're Insulting Your Vagina By Calling It </br>a VaJayJay

Vajayjay. Cooch. Cooter. Box. Tra la la.

The list of nicknames for our lady parts (there's another!) is endless, but according to Dr.Logan Levkoff, PhD, these cutesy euphemisms are hurting our sexual confidence, and our ongoing education about our bodies.

"The problem with slang terms is they make it sound as if these parts are shameful, or that we shouldn't feel good about them, says Dr. Levkoff, sexologist and author of Third Base Ain't What It Used To Be. "And that's the last thing we want, at any age."

Dr. Levkoff is a staunch believer in teaching children—right from birth—that anatomical body parts should be called what they are: penis, vagina, vulva, etc. In fact, one of Dr. Levkoff's biggest pet peeves is the lack of distinction between "vagina"—the canal that connects our uterus to the outside world—and "vulva"—the external genitalia. She points out that many women, of all ages, are referring to their vulva as "vajayja," a nickname for their internal organ.

"The term 'vajayjay' is not only just silly, it's factually incorrect," says Dr.Levkoff. Here's looking at you, Oprah, and, once upon a time, the cast of Grey's Anatomy.

Slang like "lady parts" and "vajay" also signal a lack of respect for women's most intimate parts—the same we use to do vitally important things like have sex, and conceive and deliver our kids. "If we want women to speak up about their bodies, then they need to use these terms because they're just too important," says Dr. Levkoff. "You wouldn't call your elbow some ridiculous slang name."

What of wangs, dicks, and peckers? Yes, there are penile slang terms, but the word "penis" has never been as avoided, or shrouded in slang, as "vagina." Dr. Levkoff says there is a reason our male counterparts have an easier time with the word 'penis' than we've ever had with the proper terminology.

"We unfortunately operated throughout history with a very significant double standard when it comes to sex, so we give more information to males about genitals and more freedom for them to explore their bodies," she explains.

"There have always been a lot of inequalities," Dr. Levkoff continues. "Not just on how to identify their bodies, but how to speak up and ask for pleasure and protection. If we just have slang or the absence of words, we're not getting to know our bodies, either."

So call it like it is, guys. Vagina—or bust.

Want more stories from Carson? Follow her on Twitter.

Photo Credit: lakeforestanatomicals.com

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Stop Calling It Domestic Violence. It's Intimate Terrorism.

June 13, 2012, Buffalo, New York—Receptionist Jacqueline Wisniewski, 33, shot and killed by ex-boyfriend at the hospital where she worked. July 13, 2012, Ellicott City, Maryland—Spa technician Lan Phan, 34, shot and injured on the job by ex-boyfriend. He was violating a protective order. September 11, 2012, Sioux Falls, South Dakota—Manager Amanda Collins, 24, shot and killed at the salon where she worked by her employee's boyfriend. He was violating a protective order. 

September 27, 2012, Orlando, Florida—Hotel workers Carlene Pierre, 28, and Vanessa Gonzalez-Orellanes, 28, shot and killed at the reception desk by Pierre's ex-boyfriend. He was violating a protective order. October 18, 2012, Cassel Berry, Florida—Hairstylist Marcia Santiago is wounded and her coworkers Noelia Gonzalez-Brito and Eugenia Marte and customer Gladys Cabrera are killed by Santiago's ex-boyfriend. He was violating a protective order. October 21, 2012, Brookfield, Wisconsin—Estranged husband of spa worker Zina Haughton fatally shoots her and coworkers Maelyn Lind and Cary Robuck. He was violating a protective order. November 1, 2012, Casper, Wyoming—Heidi Arnold, a math instructor, stabbed to death by her boyfriend's son; he then executed her boyfriend in front of a class he was teaching at the local community college. December 4, 2012, Roanoke Rapids, North Carolina—convenience-store clerk Crystal Lockley, 24, and her coworker, Jennifer Ruffin, both stabbed, allegedly by Lockley's boyfriend. December 14, 2012, Las Vegas, Nevada—Concierge vendor Jessica Kenny shot in a murder-suicide by an ex-boyfriend in the lobby of the Excalibur Hotel. January 28, 2013, Annapolis, Maryland—Washington Post newspaper carrier Tracy Lynn West shot by her estranged husband. A judge had reportedly denied her request for a protective order.

NO PRIVATE MATTER One in four large employers reports a threat due to domestic violence each year. Ashleigh Lindsey's ex targeted this café where she worked.

It was Friday the 13th of last July when Tara Woodlee turned on her iPad at her home in Windom, Texas, a remote speck in the hills northeast of Dallas. She was frantic: Two men had been stalking her 20-year-old daughter, Ashleigh Marie Lindsey.

For months, Ashleigh—5 feet 3 and pregnant—had been on the run from her violent ex-boyfriend, Joshua Mahaffey, and his friend Joshua Scott. Now, they seemed to be closing in. Ashleigh was hiding out in Oklahoma at the home of her close friend, Heather Lara. But every hour, the two men bombarded her with phone calls, trying to lure her back.

Then, Woodlee pulled up Scott's Face book page—and saw a photo of a .22 caliber revolver.

"I thought, Oh, god, no!" Woodlee says. "She was in the worst danger I could imagine." Her husband dialed the county sheriff's office, and not for the first time. Ashleigh had filed assault charges against her boyfriend, reached out to the county domestic-violence program, and obtained multiple orders of protection—all of which Mahaffey had blatantly violated. He had made so many threats against the strip-mall café where Ashleigh worked as a waitress that police had considered filing federal terrorism charges against him and bringing in the FBI. He had beaten and burned Ashleigh, kicked her pregnant belly, threatened her family. After all the attacks, the response to this latest call, Woodlee says, was dismaying: "We can't do anything about a picture on Facebook."

By that time, the gun had been used.

Hours after posting the photo, prosecu tors allege, Joshua Scott had shot dead his mother's boyfriend. Then, in the blood-soaked car, he picked up Mahaffey to go looking for Ashleigh.

They all slept late that morning in Heather Lara's house in Kingston, Okla homa. Ashleigh got up around 12:30 p.m. and headed out for her shift at the café. "I love you," she called out to her friend.

Heather's boyfriend, John Coleman, in the bedroom watching TV, heard doors slam and a gasp. "He's here! Oh my gosh!"

Then, three gunshots.

Heather lunged for her phone and wrestled with Scott before she ran out the back door. Scott soon fled in the car.

Mahaffey lay dead on the bathroom floor, curled over the gun. And under him was Ashleigh, shot in the head and shoulder, blood pouring from her wounds.

Eerily, her cell phone began to ring. Coleman, in shock, automatically picked it up. It was Ashleigh's mother, calling her daughter to warn her about the gun.

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Calling All People Who Have Had "Alien Sex"

Korin Miller
Korin is the site director for Cosmopolitan.com. She loves uncovering cool new research and learning more about what makes guys tick. Outside the Cosmo office, you can find her running with her dog, trying to convince friends to go to karaoke bars, and watching as much reality TV as humanly possible. Hit her up on Twitter: @korinmiller
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Elisa Benson
Elisa Benson is the senior editor of social media for @Cosmopolitan?so, yes, she tweets about sex for a living. Elisa grew up in Ohio, attended Colgate University, and wrote love and relationship advice for Seventeen before graduating to Cosmo. She lives for girly things (weddings and eyelash extensions and Pretty Little Liars?) and frequently tweets about all of the above: @elisabenson.
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