15 Signs Harry Styles Isn't Your Boyfriend

1. Your boyfriend did not try out as a solo artist on X Factor. Your boyfriend has never even made an appearance on X Factor. You're confident that if he had, his mom would have it DVRed and definitely would've made you watch it.

2. Simon Cowell has never handpicked him to be part of a boy band supergroup. In fact, your boyfriend was not even on the short list to join One Direction.

3. Your boyfriend has never posted this Instagram photo:

None of his pictures have gotten 1 million likes.

4. Taylor Swift has never written a song about breaking up with your boyfriend. You are almost certain your boyfriend has never had a romantic relationship with Taylor Swift. He has never mentioned meeting her.

5. Your boyfriend did not grow up in Holmes Chapel. When pressed for information on Holmes Chapel, your boyfriend responded, "Is that the church your parents go to?"

6. Your boyfriend has never appeared on an episode of iCarly. Not even as an extra, let alone a credited special guest role.

7. English DJ Lucy Horobin was never rumored to have an affair with your boyfriend. In fact, the Mirror has never published gossip about your boyfriend in any capacity.

8. No one has written fan fiction about your boyfriend and then been in talks for a movie deal. In fact, no one has written any fan fiction about your boyfriend. A quick Google search of your boyfriend's name just brings up his LinkedIn page and his time from a 5K he ran two years ago, but no steamy, fictional sex.

9. Ed Sheeran and your boyfriend are not good friends. You're certain Ed Sheeran does not know who your boyfriend is.

10. Your boyfriend has not gotten a butterfly tattooed on his chest. Although it's possible he may have had this tattoo at one point and gotten it laser-removed, the odds of that being true are highly unlikely.

11. Your boyfriend only has two nipples. Harry Styles has four.

12. Your boyfriend is not the youngest member of One Direction. Your boyfriend is not any member of One Direction.

13. Your boyfriend does not have a penchant for dating older women. The two of you are relatively close in age. If he has ever dated a series of women more than 10 years older than him, he has never admitted it to you.

14. You have never been slammed by millions of fans on Twitter for dating him. No one has tweeted mean things at you just because you are dating your boyfriend. In fact, you are pretty sure you're the only one who wants to date him.

15. You cannot purchase socks with your boyfriend's face on them. There are no clothing items with your boyfriend's face on them. No one has even made one-off shirts with featuring your boyfriend on Etsy.

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19 Signs He Wants You

Guys aren’t exactly subtle. We usually have a total of about three moves when it comes to picking up ladies. Here are 20 signs a guy is trying really hard to get in your pants.

1. He laughs at all your jokes. You’re funny, but no one is THAT funny. He’s probably just riding the high of potential coitus and loves everything you say.

2. He’s interested and engaged. No on is interested in the story of why you deleted your Pinterest account. Unless they want to be with you.

3. He touches your lower back. Some people are just naturally more physical than others, but if he’s touching your lower back, he’s interested. This is a confirmed thing.

4. He’s buying you drinks. This is the 21st century mating call. And 20th, and 19th, and basically all the way back until before alcohol was invented.

5. He gives you his coat. This is always—always—a smooth move.

6. He texts you late. Even if they’re not sexts, no one's up at 3:30 a.m. just wondering how your day was.

7. He tries to find movies you both like. Because we all know what happens during movies.

8. He wants to cuddle. His place is a bit cold, but he only has one blanket. Maybe the two of you could share the blanket and also have sexual intercourse?

9. He likes all your Instagram pictures. Well, not all of them, but all the ones with your face in them.

10. He gives you a sly wink after the two of you share a moment. It's his way of saying, "Hey, we have a connection." Except instead of saying things with his mouth, he's closing one eye.

11. He touches your leg to accentuate a point when talking. He’s not that into the story. He's just that into your legs.

12. He Facebooks you, like, immediately. Dude can’t even wait to get home to stalk your profile and find out if you're taken.

13. He wants to split a cab with you. He doesn’t live anywhere near your place, but you’re still “on the way.”

14. He comments on little changes. If he notices you did something with your nails, that’s like the Michael Jordan scoring 38 points during Game 5 of the 1997 NBA Finals while he had the flu of a dude being into you.

15. He sends you random-ass Snapchats. “Hey, what do you think of this new shirt I got? Don’t mind me, I’m just flexing.”

16. You catch him looking at you from across the room. This can either be really adorable, or super effing creepy.

17. He’s wearing way too much cologne. If your eyes are watering as your nostrils fill with the scent of Axe Body Spray, it’s just because his way of wooing you. Or some other woman within a 10 to 15 minute walk.

18. He tries to show off. Incorporating things he’s good at into casual conversation is never as subtle he thinks. “Look how heavy this bar stool is!” “Yeah, the other day I ran a marathon, or whatever.” “Do you want to see me do magic?”

19. He says, "I want you." Men are pretty direct. Take this at face value. 

 Photo Credit: ABC

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10 Signs a Guy Is Too Cocky For His/Your Own Good

If a male in your dating orbital displays one or more of the characteristics below, run.

1. He talks about himself more than your most narcissistic friends talk about themselves.
Only men tend not to have interpersonal dramas that are sometimes entertaining to hear about. To avoid being bored to death listening to tales of his office job, eject yourself from the situation.

2. He’s incapable of making plans.
The Incapable Planner never makes or sticks to plans with you because he always has something "fabulous" (that's really not fabulous) to do or he's expecting something better to come up. Because he delusionally thinks other things > your company. Which they don't. Next.

3. He has no interest in trying to get your friends to like him.
He'll show up to the bar and expect you to blow him afterward, make no mistake. But he'll play buck hunter over chatting with your girlfriends.

4. He seizes every opportunity to imply his life is like Jay-Z's.
He's constantly talking about this "hot club" he went to or the time he air-cheersed Jay-Z from across a room. If he EVER, I repeat EVER, brags about buying bottles at a club, say goodbye.

5. He does not give a damn about you getting off.
And he implies there is something "wrong with you" for not climaxing in the eight seconds it takes him.

6. He won't go down on you.
But expects you to go down on him. That these men even exist is a horrific evolutionary abomination.

7. He assumes you're sitting around waiting for a ring.
And will snidely remind you of it everytime "the future" arises in conversation.

8. He keeps an up-to-date gallery of shirtless photos of himself on Facebook.
Even if he looks like Channing Tatum without a shirt on, his physique is not the front page of the New York Times — no one needs that many news flashes on his pectorals.

9. He brags about how many Twitter followers he has.
And when you mention the concept of "fake followers" he says, "Your FACE is fake." Because he would.

10. He only eats at $$$$ restaurants or McDonald's. 
I'm pretty sure Paris Hilton has a rule about this in a book she "wrote" like ten years ago. In fact, if he does ANYTHING like Paris, turn and run.

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Photo: Getty Images

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6 Signs You're Probably Getting Friend Zoned

Not sure what career path you want to take? Not to worry, there are plenty of hot jobs in demand.

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6 Signs You're Probably Getting Friend Zoned

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6 Signs You're Probably Getting Friend Zoned

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6 Signs You're Probably Getting Friend Zoned

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President Obama Signs Violence Against Women Act

Thank you, Mr. President!

After drama, stalling, and, finally, passage in the House and Senate, President Obama signed the Violence Against Women Act into law today.

"This is a country where everyone should be able to pursue their own measure of happiness and live their lives free from fear—no matter who you are, no matter who you love," said the President, who pushed for VAWA's passage in his State of the Union address." Today is about the millions of women who are out there right now looking for a lifeline."

The act, hatched by then-senator Joe Biden in 1994, gives federal funding to law enforcement and other programs aiming to crack down on domestic and sexual violence against women. Protective features under VAWA include a national hotline for women facing abuse, protection from abusers across state lines, and housing assistance that would enable women to remove themselves from abusive homes.

VAWA expired in January, after conservative lawmakers refused to approve add-ons to the bill that would also protect same-sex couples, undocumented immigrants, and Native Americans. But the squabbles didn't cloud today's signing.

"I love you, Mr. President," shouted a supporter before the president officially renewed VAWA.

"I love you, back!" he said.

Protest photo credit: Getty Images

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President Obama Signs Violence Against Women Act

Thank you, Mr. President!

After drama, stalling, and, finally, passage in the House and Senate, President Obama signed the Violence Against Women Act into law today.

"This is a country where everyone should be able to pursue their own measure of happiness and live their lives free from fear—no matter who you are, no matter who you love," said the President, who pushed for VAWA's passage in his State of the Union address." Today is about the millions of women who are out there right now looking for a lifeline."

The act, hatched by then-senator Joe Biden in 1994, gives federal funding to law enforcement and other programs aiming to crack down on domestic and sexual violence against women. Protective features under VAWA include a national hotline for women facing abuse, protection from abusers across state lines, and housing assistance that would enable women to remove themselves from abusive homes.

VAWA expired in January, after conservative lawmakers refused to approve add-ons to the bill that would also protect same-sex couples, undocumented immigrants, and Native Americans. But the squabbles didn't cloud today's signing.

"I love you, Mr. President," shouted a supporter before the president officially renewed VAWA.

"I love you, back!" he said.

Protest photo credit: Getty Images

Want more from Michelle? Follow her on Twitter @MichelleRuiz.

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6 Signs You're Probably Getting Friend Zoned

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7 Signs He's a Player

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10 Signs He Wants to Marry You

When a man makes it clear how special you are (obviously), by saying you're the only woman who's ever done fill-in-the-blank for him or made him feel this way, he's on his way to don the tux.

Source: Paul Dobransky, M.D., director of WomensHappiness.com

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5 Signs a Guy Is Toxic

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5 Signs a Guy Is Toxic

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13 Signs a Guy Is Shady

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