Surprise! Human Barbie doll Valeria Lukyanova subsists off "light" and "air" to maintain her freakishly doll-like proportions. In fact, she said exactly this: "In recent weeks I have not been hungry at all; I'm hoping it's the final stage before I can subsist on air and light alone." So, yeah. That would be called starvation.
I guess I'd live off light and air if I weren't too busy living off cake and ice cream. Priorities.
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"Boy, I’ve Really Put You In A Tough Spot, Haven’t I?" This fake op-ed by Woody Allen posted on The Onion recently voiced what’s been perceived this past week as the hardcore Allen fan’s current dilemma. A dilemma that's been intensified thanks to Dylan Farrow’s disturbing and detailed open letter in The New York Times this week. Dylan, now 28, also links Allen's work to her allegations of sexual abuse: "What’s your favorite Woody Allen movie?" she writes, before detailing the sexual abuse at Allen’s hands that she allegedly suffered at the age of 7. For over twenty years, she's grown increasingly angry that people still worship Allen and don't seem to hear her. It's understandable.
Since the letter ran, I’ve had many discussions (really, arguments) about Dylan’s credibility. While it’s unfathomable to me that you’d ever dismiss this kind of claim in a non-celebrity situation, lots of people insist she’s been lying all of this time, that Mia Farrow coached her. The people who refuse to believe it are generally the same people who know Annie Hall dialogue by heart — the superfans. Twitter is rife with arguments about Dylan's claims, and the mob mentality of Allen's biggest fans is no different from Bieber fans or One Direction fans, really. They're unwilling to acknowledge that their hero might be capable of such a thing. He makes such good movies!
Finding it rather disturbing that searching for 'Dylan Farrow' on twitter brings up the auto-result 'Dylan Farrow lying' second.
— Chris Brosnahan (@ChrisBrosnahan) February 2, 2014@marykarrlit Boy, I'm stumped on that one. I don't like to think it's true, and there's an element of palpable bitchery there, but...
— Stephen King (@StephenKing) February 3, 2014This piece in The Guardian as well as this one in The Daily Beast (the latter penned by Bob Weide, who directed a fawning three-hour bio-documentary about Allen a few years ago) basically do everything but say that Dylan is lying. Weide also, more or less, accuses Mia Farrow of being an adulterous slut, as if that has anything to do with the sexual abuse allegations whatsoever. It's not Dylan but Mia who gets the brunt of the backlash.
RE: Woody Allen: I dunno, man. Mia Farrow's brother is a convicted child molester doing 25yrs in jail and she ain't said a word about that.
— Ned Hepburn (@nedhepburn) February 2, 2014Mia Farrow has consistently supported Roman Polanski, which is what makes all this a bit complicated. Also, Sinatra.
— Glenn Fleishman (@GlennF) February 1, 2014The real story of @MiaFarrow's lies and manipulations to punish Woody and get custody of their kids. http://t.co/n9jyEzTllo @AVoiceForMen
— Dagonet (@TheQuestFor50) January 28, 2014
Some background: Allen was given the Lifetime Achievement Award at the Golden Globes this year — with a second commendation by Diane Keaton, who accepted the award on his behalf and spoke at length about Allen’s "unforgettable female characters" and championing of actresses. The decision to reward Allen for his 70 films, many of which are now classics, was criticized on Twitter by his ex-partner Mia Farrow and her son Ronan. Not because of Allen and Farrow’s much-publicized early-1990s split and his later marriage to Farrow’s adopted daughter Soon-Yi Previn (who was 19 when they began their relationship; Allen was 56), but because of Dylan’s long-standing allegations of sexual abuse.
Allen’s just one of many celebrated public figures with a history of unsavory and disturbing behavior, and it's evident that Hollywood and the public tends to turn on the victim rather than the celebrity. When fellow filmmaker/statutory rapist Roman Polanski drugged and raped a 13-year-old girl in 1977, it was the girl — an L.A. pre-teen named Samantha Geimer — whose character, sexuality, and "poor parenting" came into question. Geimer, now in her forties, recalls: "At the time, everybody was saying that I was a liar, I was a slut, that my [aspiring actress] mom set it up and, poor Roman, we were these awful people. I was very aware of the negative portrayals of me."
Then there's R. Kelly, whose trespasses have gone mostly unacknowledged by the public after he was acquitted in an infamous 2008 child porn case. He had been sleeping with underage girls who hung around the studio for years, and the girl he had sex with and urinated on was just barely out of eighth grade. "That really puts it into perspective. She's not sophisticated enough to know what her kinks are," says journalist Jim DeRogatis, who broke the initial porn-tape story. Which was clearly an argument that some people had been making. During the actual trial, another woman came forward to identify the girl on the tape who had also slept with R. Kelly, when she was 17. She was called a liar by the defense team and actually accused of being Satan.
Allen’s predilection for much younger, even legally too-young women has been very public for a long time, not just from the Soon-Yi debacle but the depiction of a 40-year-old man nonchalantly dating a 17-year-old girl in Manhattan. The sad truth is that if the only way Dylan Farrow can heal is for Hollywood to stop acknowledging Allen’s accomplishments, she will continue to feel unheard.
People have been using Allen’s highbrow cred as a filmmaker as some kind of defense of his personal integrity for a long time. Compare the Allen/Farrow sexual abuse allegations to the 1993 molestation allegations against Michael Jackson, for instance. The public was instantly on the side of the 13-year-old boy (one very notable exception to the instant celebrity support in these cases) and derailed Jackson’s public image and commercial appeal. He never truly recovered. Why would this be the case with Jackson — also a hugely successful and critically-acclaimed artist — and not Allen? I think it’s because Jackson was perceived as strange, deviant, and intellectually “stunted” due to his overall behavior, because he was black, and because the molestation victim was a boy. Allen, on the other hand, a white, intellectually superior New Yorker-reading academic, gets off relatively scot-free. We assume he’s so smart he has to have some kind of reason for doing this that we don’t even understand. He doesn’t.
Ultimately, the mistake being made repeatedly — by both believers and skeptics about Dylan’s allegations — is to think that Allen’s deplorable actions change or negate the (sometimes) wonderful movies he’s made. There's no need to choose a side or take down your Manhattan poster. Calling Dylan Farrow a liar because you want to justify your love for Woody Allen movies is an unnecessary personal attack.
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Photo Credit: Getty
Christian production company Holy Moly Pictures just released the first trailer for their upcoming film The Lock-In, due on January 9th (via Metro). In it, teens bring a tattered porn magazine to their church lock-in and are, ahem, punished for it. Just watching the trailer, I have some issues:
1. The main characters are supposedly high-school seniors and act like this is the first time they’ve ever seen pornography.
2. "We are making a small, little fun movie." No one talks like that and I can't wait to watch masturbation demons murder you now. I officially have zero emotional investment in the characters and we're about 8 seconds into this trailer.
3. They call it a “nudie mag” like they’re the cast of Stand By Me.
4. Why are you taking pornography you found in a bush? So many things wrong with that.
5. Based on the above, not one of them have ever been on the internet, ever.
6. I am absolutely positive that a church lock-in doesn’t actually involve locking the church so no one can leave because that is insane.
7. Why does this church have so many security cameras?
8. We have a shot of someone that probably lives in his mom's basement say "to see what [pornography] did to those kids..." and then we cut to a poorly lit shot of someone hanging out on stairs being really bad at pretending to yell. I will never look at porn again if it means i don't have to watch this movie.
9. Demons or no, nothing about a church lock-in sounds fun.
10. Stop yelling, “Jessica!” If you’re going to have someone screaming “Jessica” in your trailer that many times, then maybe also show Jessica once in the trailer.
11. I see demons every time I look at pornography. I don’t understand what the issue here is.
Personally, I can’t wait to watch an hour and a half of grainy, night-vision footage of religious teens running around yelling and probably not doing much else since this is still meant to be family-friendly. I know what I’m doing January 9th.
Photo Credit: Holy Moly Pictures
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In a 27-minute-long mid-concert rant, Kanye West told his fans that he will be keeping "quiet, for six months at least." It's unclear whether this is a self-imposed resolution or a Kardashian kommand for 2014, but Kanye vowed "this is the last time you’ll ever hear me say negative about anyone."
That, and "I’ll never bring up the Grammys again in a negative light, because I actually appreciate the 21 Grammys that I did win."
Just because Kanye has decided he's done talking shit, though, doesn't mean we can't continue our important discussion of his Christmas present to Kim.
Related: Kim Kardashian's Best Post-Maternity Looks
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A new study determines that most penises are smaller than we think.
This is science because researchers took matters into their own hands (literally). Men were not given the option of measuring their members alone in their bedrooms. Instead, the 300 men studied allowed a doctor to supervise and then measure their erections.
The result: only 1 in 5 men surpasses 5 to 7 inches when erect and 1 in 1,000 reaches 9 inches. I repeat, only 1 in every 1,000 men is 9 inches when hard. The average erect penis size is 5.8 inches. If you are underwhelmed — don't be. The study makes it very clear that 5.8 inches is way bigger than most other primates' erections, such as a gorilla erection.
So, that's something to remember the next time this issue, ahem, arises.
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In an interview with Playboy (via The Cut, Dinklage is informed of a video on Funny Or Die in which two guys estimate that his "rate of getting p*ssy" has gone up 600% since Game of Thrones debuted on HBO.
He jokingly responds: "[If] pussy means wearing old-man sweaters and watering my herb garden, then absolutely, I'm getting so much pussy."
As for what Playboy calls his reputation as a DwILF ("Dwarf I'd Like To F*ck?" he asks dubiously. "That's very clever."), Dinklage — who's the one with 43 years of experience being a little person both pre- and post-fame, after all — doesn't really buy it. Who can blame him?
Dinklage, who has been married to theater director Erica Schmidt for eight years (the two had a daughter in 2011), adds: "Honestly, I think there's an irony in all of this... They'll say, "Oh, he's sexy," but women still go for guys who are six-foot-two. It's nice that people are thinking outside the box, but I don't believe any of it for a minute.
Dinklage has said before that he used to be angry about his stature as a younger man, but overcame it in time. For many of us who like to think that we don't allow physical prejudices to affect our potential relationships, it's an interesting (albeit difficult to hear) truth a lot of the time.
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From Cosmopolitan.com. Visit Handbags reviews and advice for best reference here
Gorgeous details—ruffles of pleats, buttons dotting the back—make this dress look 10 times more expensive than it really is. All the more money you can spend on your wedding cake.
White by Vera Wang Mermaid Gown with Pleated Skirt and Bubble Hem, $250, davidsbridal.com
From Cosmopolitan.com. Visit Handbags reviews and advice for best reference here