"I don't want to add to this already pre-existing, enormous mound of salacious bullshit that isn't real," says Kristen Stewart, as she gives an interview to the French edition of Vanity Fair that is sure to do just that. Oh well. It's a tabloid-centric "soap opera," she continues, "a varied assortment of whatever flavors [regular people] have picked up at the newsstand or in the theater or on the Internet."
But like so many other A-listers claim, Kristen doesn't read the news, nor is she bothered by it. (This is such a common celebrity misnomer; of course they all have multiple Google alerts synced to their assistants' cell phones.) "I try not to let it mess with me," she says — and this is where she hits peak K-Stew, noting that, "because my true personal life, as much as people think they know about it, they don't know dick shit." Dick shit! Make this your new favorite salty swear word, please. Anyway, then Kristen has a big ol' angry existential rant about people's "true" personal lives:
"By the way nobody knows. Nobody knows what the fuck is going on. You're going to die. You're going to lay next to the people that you know the most in life, the people that you're going to grow old with. But you're going to lay next to them in the middle of the night deeply curious about them and who they are, because nobody fucking knows anything."
And this is where she's contributing to that "mound of salacious bullshit" after all, don't you know, because how can you not read this and think about RPattz?! Also, how can you read this and not feel like Kristen needs a hug or a cookie? I'll bake a batch for you, K-Stew, or maybe we could just keep it casual and eat the dough. <3 <3
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