Guys Uncensored: What He Thinks When He Meets Your...

It’s no secret that Khloe Kardashian has never been crazy about her now-former brother-in-law Kris Humphries. And she just revealed why: He trashed her marriage when they first met, and she never got over his rudeness. We can’t blame her—and we don’t get what Kris was thinking. Luckily, this guy has some insight on what goes through a dude’s head when he meets the people in your life.

...Parents
Meeting your mom is great, because it’s typically an easy way to score points. Your boyfriend knows that as long as he speaks highly of you, asks her questions, and doesn’t accidentally use her drapes as a hand towel, Mom will probably like him. Fathers, however, are another matter. Your dad is a dude and has had sex at least once, which means he knows the kinds of things your boyfriend thinks about and the kinds of things you do with your boyfriend—and your boyfriend knows that your dad knows these things. The result is at least slight discomfort and at worst naked terror, no matter how cool or laid back Dad is. So when they first meet, try not to leave them alone together for any longer than it takes you to pee.

...Siblings
Boyfriends tend to love brothers. After all, making friends with them can be the easiest thing in the world, because they’re not just dudes you know, they’re dudes you know who have absolutely no desire to date you. However, brothers have the same capacity to be protective as dads—the difference being that it’s way more annoying when brothers do it. (It’s also intimidating if your brother is older. And jacked. And an avid hunter.) But the trickier relationship is with your sister: After all, she’s a woman who looks and acts somewhat like you, and who also happens to be a total sexual taboo. So if he’s a little standoffish around her, don’t panic—he’s just doing his best to make sure you know he’s not thinking about anything he shouldn’t be thinking about.

...Friends
To be perfectly honest, yes, he’s checking them out. He’s not doing it because he wants to have sex with them—unless you’d be okay with that—or because he’s looking to trade up. He’s doing it because…well, because he’d check out chicks even if he was at a funeral in a burning building. What he’s truly concerned about is getting them on his side. He knows that you’re going to ask them for their opinions of him and that his stock will shoot way up if they like him. So he’ll be trying hard; all you have to do is grease the social wheels. Oh, and if you find yourself getting pissed at how flirtatious he’s being, don’t. He’s just trying hard to be charming so that they give him the thumbs up.

...Ex
Sure, your boyfriend sizes him up to see if he has bigger guns or if he’s losing his hair faster, but unless your ex has a Tom Brady physique coupled with a Robert Pattinson ability to brood, looks really aren’t all that big a deal. Instead, your guy is much more concerned about outdoing your ex in some way. Since you’d frown on him smashing a chair over your ex’s back, your boyfriend probably just wants to make you laugh in front of him. In fact, what you do in front of your ex is far more important than anything your ex does. If you seem nervous or bothered by his presence, your boyfriend will probably assume that you still have feelings. Which you don’t…right?

From Cosmopolitan.com. Visit Amazon Beauty Ceneter here

Guys Uncensored: How Men Get Over a Breakup

When Seal started making the talk show rounds this week, most people were surprised at how calm and mature he seemed about his split from Heidi Klum. He even told Ellen DeGeneres that he’s keeping his wedding ring on because it makes him feel “connected” to his ex.

Of course, what he says in public and how he privately feels could be two totally different things. Even though guys usually play it cool after a split, what happens to a man after a break up depends on who did the breaking up.

If he did it, he’s sad for one-billionth of a nanosecond before he starts daydreaming about the new chicks he’s going to hook up with. If he’s the one who got run over by the dump truck, however, his post-breakup behavior is far different. Yes, psycho guys do psycho things. But normal dudes like Seal, who are saddened by the end of a relationship, focus on fighting that soul-crushing feeling—figuratively and literally.

Here, a guy tells us the real deal about what Seal is probably going through.

Fighting Back Tears
Some men like to say they never cry. Well, here’s the truth: We never let anyone see us crying. I was very in love with Jill (I’ve changed names here to protect the guilty). How in love? Our song was Beyoncé’s “Crazy in Love,” because we were so crazy in love. (Shut up, it was adorable at the time.) After she broke up with me, I was explaining this to a friend at a bar when I had to grit my teeth and excuse myself. After I got home, I pulled the curtains shut and blared a heavy-metal album. Then I cried. It made me feel better, but only because I knew that my hot, manly, motor-oil tears were witnessed by no one.

Fighting Inanimate Objects
Guys often try to work through the pain of a broken heart by replacing it with the much more easily endured pain of bloody knuckles. I once had a meathead roommate who, after being ditched by a Keira Knightley look-alike, continually—and noisily—wailed on a punching bag he’d put up in our apartment. I have the soft hands of a writer, so I recovered from one particularly nasty breakup by living inside the game Grand Theft Auto IV for three weeks. I crashed cars and shot anyone who looked at me funny. Weird? Maybe. But it helped me vent chaotic emotions that I didn’t know how to process any other way.

Fighting to Win Her Back
When a guy realizes he’s let something special slip through his fingers—it generally happens the first Friday night he has no plans—he tries to fix it. He fails to see, however, that relationships aren’t broken door hinges. When Nicole dumped me, I was initially proud that I’d taken the news stoically, like a ninja. But then, after a couple of beers on my first lonely night, it dawned on me that I hadn’t put up enough of a fight. After a few more beers, I drunk-dialed her. I begged, I rationalized, I promised to fix the things that were wrong with me and with us—even though I couldn’t really tell her what those things were. When it became clear she wasn’t going to take me back, I told her I had one more question. Her response? No, she would not sleep with me one last time. I was far from over her, but her rejection finally got me thinking about the new chicks I was going to hook up with.

From Cosmopolitan.com. Visit Amazon Beauty Ceneter here