Now There's An Insert To Enhance Lap Dances For Men Because The Patriarchy

Three dudes are about to hit the strip club. "Aren't you forgetting something?" asks one. "Oh, yeah!" says another. "Liquid Lapdance!" "What's Liquid Lapdance?" asks the third guy. "You're an idiot, Kyle," says the first one. "Kill yourself." Then they high-five.

The cutting-edge field of Today's Stripping Technology continues to baffle: Jezebel has unearthed brand-new special inserts a dude can put under his jeans when he's getting a lap dance to prevent chafing and allow his boner to be more free, as free as the wind, as liberated as the woman's movement in the 1960s.

As their copy puts it, the product is a "soft, latex extension in front to caress and stimulate the male anatomy [and] provide you with the space to get fully-erect. Most underwear is not designed to be worn when you're rock hard. Ours is. Expand in comfort." Science!

As if this wasn't enough of a boon, the secondary purpose of the gadget is to "moisturize and lubricate" a guy's penis during a lapdance and even catch the semen produced when/if he ejaculates, all of which is described by Liquid Lapdance's website but is completely not explained by the, um, video. (Which is actually softcore porn, but hey, tomato, tomah-to.)

Do guys (who ostensibly are over the age of, like, 14) actually come during lap dances? The only guy I know who's been to a strip club basically just chatted with the stripper awkwardly and then got really depressed when they discovered they'd gone to the same college.

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Image via http://liquidlapdance.com

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