Twit Sh*t: Katy Perry Has the Key to the Universe

I like to look at Twitter feeds and decide if I would want to be friends with a person based on their last 10 tweets. The answer is always "no." Here are eight famous people I don't want to be friends with.

Katy Perry

The bad news: there is no key to the universe. The good news: it was never locked.

— Katy Perry (@katyperry) February 28, 2014

This is the equivalent of the end of like, every children’s movie or book ever where the kid was given something “magic” and then realized the power was inside them all along, and they just needed encouragement.

Justin Bieber

I love sleep

— Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) February 26, 2014

Dude, no one’s going to complain if you get more of it. Maybe consider hibernating. Maybe look into hibernating for several years or decades. Please.

Miley Cyrus

I would rather choke on my own tongue pic.twitter.com/fVUQTCwrb9

— Miley Ray Cyrus (@MileyCyrus) February 24, 2014

I get Miley’s stance on this, but that doesn’t change the fact that I would love to hate-watch classic fairy tales with people grinding all up on each other. Please reconsider.

Avril Lavigne

Trying to put together new singles and videos now while I'm on tour. It's not easy. I'm doing my best for you all. Working at it now. :)

— Avril Lavigne (@AvrilLavigne) February 27, 2014

HURRY THIS DECADE NEEDS IT’S OWN SK8ER BOI

Pitbull

if you look for something, it hides

— Pitbull (@pitbull) February 27, 2014

In a few more weeks, Pitbull will realize this is just everyone trying to avoid him.

Ryan Seacrest

Happy 44th mom and dad pic.twitter.com/ulGfO0hDkH

— Ryan Seacrest (@RyanSeacrest) February 21, 2014

In case you were wondering who was responsible for bringing Ryan Seacrest into this world. On purpose. On purpose.

Ashley Tisdale

It's Appreciation Monday (I just made that up) so I want to give a shout out to all my awesome fans, thank you for all ur love. I feel it :)

— Ashley Tisdale (@ashleytisdale) February 24, 2014

Alright, one, you’re forcing it, and two, this isn’t even catchy. Mindfulness Monday? Yeah, that’s a stretch too, but at least I put thirty seconds worth of effort into coming up with it.

Famous Anagrams Bonus Tweet

LENA DUNHAM is an anagram of ANAL MUD HEN

— Famous Anagrams (@FamousAnagrams) February 27, 2014

I dunno, I can’t argue with this, I guess?

Photo Credit: Getty

Frank's last 10 tweets will make you not want to be friends with him, either.

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Katy Perry: "I Make Out to Drake Songs"

Katy Perry has spoken of her love for Drake, confessing that "Hold On, We're Going Home" is her "make out" song.

The singer, who is dating John Mayer, made the comments during a guest DJ stint on iTunes Radio earlier this week.

"Who doesn't love Drake? Drake is so sensitive but yet still so cool. It's a very hard balance to find sometimes. Emotional guys that are sensitive but strong and Drake is definitely that kind of guy," Perry said.

"And he really hit home on this next one called "Hold On". I think it's beautiful. It sounds a little bit like kind of old vibey Lionel Richie [or] The Weeknd. It's sexy as hell.

"I listen to it with my boyfriend [John Mayer], so I would suggest listening to it with whoever you wanna make out with."

Perry, who releases her new album Prism on October 22, also included HAIM, Iggy Azalea, the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Robyn and Lorde on her playlist.

Listen to Drake's "Hold On, We're Going Home" below:

Photo: Getty Images

Via Digital Spy.

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John Krasinski Lip-Syncs Katy Perry, Warms Your Ovaries

Korin Miller
Korin is the site director for Cosmopolitan.com. She loves uncovering cool new research and learning more about what makes guys tick. Outside the Cosmo office, you can find her running with her dog, trying to convince friends to go to karaoke bars, and watching as much reality TV as humanly possible. Hit her up on Twitter: @korinmiller
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Michelle Ruiz
Michelle is the news editor for Cosmopolitan.com. She's obsessed with interviewing celebrities and spotting the latest pop culture trends. Her life highlights include chatting with Ryan Gosling about sex dolls, dancing on stage at the Oprah show, and shopping with her mom on Long Island. Tweet her: @michelleruiz
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Dara Adeeyo
Dara is the associate web editor for Cosmopolitan.com. She's intrigued by all things digital. Dara loves playing with html and discovering new studies. When she's not reading up on the latest cocktail recipes (for work, of course), she can be found breaking it down on the dance floor or watching the Investigative Discovery channel. She also has a sick obsession with nail polish, elephants, and most importantly, Nutella. Dara basically lives on Twitter, so tweet at her and say hey: @dadeeyo.
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Elisa Benson
Elisa Benson is the senior editor of social media for @Cosmopolitan?so, yes, she tweets about sex for a living. Elisa grew up in Ohio, attended Colgate University, and wrote love and relationship advice for Seventeen before graduating to Cosmo. She lives for girly things (weddings and eyelash extensions and Pretty Little Liars?) and frequently tweets about all of the above: @elisabenson.
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Katy Perry is Team Obama—Clearly

Meet the Beauty Bloggers

Carly Cardellino: I'm the beauty and fashion editor here at Cosmopolitan.com. I'll try just about anything once (I have the crop cut—my hair used to be super-long—and body wave to prove it) and then report back. I'm obsessed with hair products, like volumizers and salt sprays, as well as mascara, nail polish, a good foundation (right now I'm using Tom Ford Beauty Traceless Foundation SPF 15), and blush (it literally changes the way you look in seconds)—hopefully you can see why I'm in this business. I also love picking out head-to-toe outfits for friends whether they're going on a date with their guy or a black-tie wedding—so feel free to click on that "contact" link below and send me a question.

Leah Wyar: Ladies, I’m the DIY beauty guru. My specialties? Spray-tanning and mastering the at-home manicure. I’ve tried dozens of spray-tanning formulas and have mastered the art of the self-tan (don’t worry, I’ll share!). Plus, I paint on the hottest nail trends every week (currently I’m obsessed with the glitter and dark polish trend). Follow me as I branch out and perfect my DIY skills (up next: waxing!).

Marta Topran: I’m obsessed with making my skin as glowy as possible. That means trying out every anti-aging potion out there and never leaving the house without some sort of shimmery highlighter on my cheekbones. I’m also the resident brow and lash addict. Right now, I’m rocking super long lash extensions that I can’t believe I ever lived without.

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