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Showing posts with label Match. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Match. Show all posts
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Good Match? My Ass
March 7, 2012 at 6:00PM By Jessica Knoll | "Sweetheart, I’d kill to trade lives with you,” my mother told me the last time I was home. “Young, beautiful, and whooping it up in New York. It’s like Sex and the City!” 
This comparison bugs me to no end. It’s like the only person in the world who has ever been single, lived in New York, and pursued a writing career was Carrie Bradshaw. There is a world of difference between us, starting with the fact that I’m nowhere near as annoying as she is and ending with the sad truth that instead of wearing six hundred dollar heels and getting hit on by handsome bankers and hot hipster musicians, I can barely afford to shop at H&M and the only message in my Match.com inbox is from this winner:
Hi and Good Day,
How are you? I hope this message find you in a good health and have a wonderful day.
My name is Marco who is 37yo, single, never married, no kids. It sounds funny when I say it out loud. I am an honest guy who treats lady right, but I have been missing my chance to find someone who I can share life with. Why? This is a wonderful question; I have been work very hard through years and it is also difficult to find someone through working environment. I don't like the bar scene. So here I am, online dating.
I believe good relationship starts being friends. If we can write each other first or go out to have a cup of coffee/ tea, so we have a chance to know each other better. How do you think?
Thank you for your time to read all of this and look forward to hearing from you soon Marco
YES, seriously, this little gem landed in my Match.com inbox on the first day I joined. My ego has taken a serious hit in light of the fact that until him, the only other guy my photo has attracted is without a doubt a serial killer who wants to skin me and wear me when it rains.
But as Celine says, the heart will go on. And I will be here, documenting every twist and turn my newly single life takes along the way. The next time you hear from me, hopefully I will have some positive news to share about this blind date I’m going on with my co-worker’s boyfriend’s friend (say it three times fast). The guy already sounds like a major upgrade from my Match.com suitor as I’ve confirmed via Facebook that he’s cute, and via my co-worker that he’s nice and not addicted to online porn. Check back in with me in a few days to find out how everything went and whether or not he’s good in bed. (Kidding.) Also, if you love a good, juicy break-up story, then have I got a doozy for you.
Good Match? My Ass
March 7, 2012 at 6:00PM By Jessica Knoll | "Sweetheart, I’d kill to trade lives with you,” my mother told me the last time I was home. “Young, beautiful, and whooping it up in New York. It’s like Sex and the City!”
This comparison bugs me to no end. It’s like the only person in the world who has ever been single, lived in New York, and pursued a writing career was Carrie Bradshaw. There is a world of difference between us, starting with the fact that I’m nowhere near as annoying as she is and ending with the sad truth that instead of wearing six hundred dollar heels and getting hit on by handsome bankers and hot hipster musicians, I can barely afford to shop at H&M and the only message in my Match.com inbox is from this winner:
Hi and Good Day,
How are you? I hope this message find you in a good health and have a wonderful day.
My name is Marco who is 37yo, single, never married, no kids. It sounds funny when I say it out loud. I am an honest guy who treats lady right, but I have been missing my chance to find someone who I can share life with. Why? This is a wonderful question; I have been work very hard through years and it is also difficult to find someone through working environment. I don't like the bar scene. So here I am, online dating.
I believe good relationship starts being friends. If we can write each other first or go out to have a cup of coffee/ tea, so we have a chance to know each other better. How do you think?
Thank you for your time to read all of this and look forward to hearing from you soon Marco
YES, seriously, this little gem landed in my Match.com inbox on the first day I joined. My ego has taken a serious hit in light of the fact that until him, the only other guy my photo has attracted is without a doubt a serial killer who wants to skin me and wear me when it rains.
But as Celine says, the heart will go on. And I will be here, documenting every twist and turn my newly single life takes along the way. The next time you hear from me, hopefully I will have some positive news to share about this blind date I’m going on with my co-worker’s boyfriend’s friend (say it three times fast). The guy already sounds like a major upgrade from my Match.com suitor as I’ve confirmed via Facebook that he’s cute, and via my co-worker that he’s nice and not addicted to online porn. Check back in with me in a few days to find out how everything went and whether or not he’s good in bed. (Kidding.) Also, if you love a good, juicy break-up story, then have I got a doozy for you.
Friday, February 17, 2012
A Potential Match
“Okay.”
I hadn’t even given James the hard sell, and he’d agreed to meet Ursula. I had prepared several arguments, and as it turned out, I didn’t need any of them. All I’d said was, “You need to start dating. Let me introduce you to my friend Ursula.”
“Should I text her and see if she wants to come meet us?” I asked.
“No, absolutely not. Too much pressure. Why don’t you give me her email address?”
“Wait, meeting up with her with me as a buffer is too much pressure, but randomly emailing a stranger to ask her out is not?”
“I’ll feel too self-conscious if you’re here.”
“You are such a weirdo.”
I texted Ursula to see if I could give James her email. She wrote back within seconds.
“Am I being courted? Does he know what I do for a living? Yes, give him my email.”
I showed James the text.
“What does she do for a living?” he asked, suddenly wary.
“She writes erotic fiction, mostly,” I explained. “But right now, she’s ghost writing an autobiography for a porn star.”
“Which one?” he asked. I gave him a look. “Don’t judge,” he continued. “I’ve been single for a long time.”
“I’m sworn to secrecy,” I said, pretending to zip my lips closed.
“That’s kind of intimidating,” he said.
“It’s not, really. She describes herself as a prude with a very active imagination.”
James relaxed, and I showed him Ursula’s Facebook photos on my phone.
“She’s cute,” he said. “But she looks tall. Is she tall?”
“She’s about your height,” I said.
“Does she wear heels?”
“Why is this an issue for you?”
“I don’t like to date girls that are taller than me.”
“Well, you don’t like to date girls at all, so maybe you can push yourself just a little further outside your comfort zone.”
James grumbled, but he let the height thing go. Truth be told, Ursula is a wee bit taller than James, but she doesn’t care, and he can just deal with it. I swear, if he goes out with her once and decides she’s too tall, I’ll kill him.
I guess he wrote her last night, because she just sent this text.
“James = very charming over email. Meeting for ice cream tomorrow night.”
Ice cream? Well played, James. Well played indeed.
Posted at 10:47 AM
Thursday, January 26, 2012
A Potential Match
“Okay.”
I hadn’t even given James the hard sell, and he’d agreed to meet Ursula. I had prepared several arguments, and as it turned out, I didn’t need any of them. All I’d said was, “You need to start dating. Let me introduce you to my friend Ursula.”
“Should I text her and see if she wants to come meet us?” I asked.
“No, absolutely not. Too much pressure. Why don’t you give me her email address?”
“Wait, meeting up with her with me as a buffer is too much pressure, but randomly emailing a stranger to ask her out is not?”
“I’ll feel too self-conscious if you’re here.”
“You are such a weirdo.”
I texted Ursula to see if I could give James her email. She wrote back within seconds.
“Am I being courted? Does he know what I do for a living? Yes, give him my email.”
I showed James the text.
“What does she do for a living?” he asked, suddenly wary.
“She writes erotic fiction, mostly,” I explained. “But right now, she’s ghost writing an autobiography for a porn star.”
“Which one?” he asked. I gave him a look. “Don’t judge,” he continued. “I’ve been single for a long time.”
“I’m sworn to secrecy,” I said, pretending to zip my lips closed.
“That’s kind of intimidating,” he said.
“It’s not, really. She describes herself as a prude with a very active imagination.”
James relaxed, and I showed him Ursula’s Facebook photos on my phone.
“She’s cute,” he said. “But she looks tall. Is she tall?”
“She’s about your height,” I said.
“Does she wear heels?”
“Why is this an issue for you?”
“I don’t like to date girls that are taller than me.”
“Well, you don’t like to date girls at all, so maybe you can push yourself just a little further outside your comfort zone.”
James grumbled, but he let the height thing go. Truth be told, Ursula is a wee bit taller than James, but she doesn’t care, and he can just deal with it. I swear, if he goes out with her once and decides she’s too tall, I’ll kill him.
I guess he wrote her last night, because she just sent this text.
“James = very charming over email. Meeting for ice cream tomorrow night.”
Ice cream? Well played, James. Well played indeed.
Posted at 10:47 AM
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